Concert

Overall, the concert went well.  I sang well.  Of course I wasn't singing anything all that vocally challenging other than the Handel.  I made some (probably unnoticed) mistakes in the two most musically challenging pieces: the Jake Heggie/Sister Helen song  "Love is" and "Evergreen".

The biggest distraction (other than the piano being out of tune, which I didn't know because my accompanist couldn't come with me on the day that I was looking at the room, and anyhow I couldn't get to the piano that afternoon because someone was plunking on it) was a woman with Alzheimers, probably a former singer, who, like a dog responding to a whistle, sang along with me every time I hit a "high" note (meaning an F or an F sharp).  What she did, mostly, was sing the note an octave higher.  She really got going with this during "Love is", which was unfortunate, because I was having enough trouble.  She also did this all during "Mon Coeur", which annoyed some of my friends, but in that instance it didn't faze me because I could sing that aria in my sleep.

Several people sang along during the Gay 90s songs, which was fine, and my partner sang along during "Let Me Call You Sweetheart", which was what I wanted.

All the people who told me they were coming did come, and some have made videos, which they will get to me soon.

My teacher and his wife were there and he said he was "proud of me" for not letting the distraction of the woman singing break my concentration.  He called me a "pro". And then started talking about Trovatore, which made me happy.  He said he couldn't find a copy of the play in English that was reasonably priced (he found one online for $100) so he is going to see if he can find one in Italian and then his wife can translate it into English.

And before the concert started the whole room sang "Happy Birthday" to me because I had said that the concert was for my birthday.

So this was the special birthday I dreamed of, and it certainly makes up for last year.

The only fly in the ointment was I got an answer to my thank you note (in which I apologized for whatever I had said that had put her off) from LC that was incredibly smarmy.  She said her two most important values were being honest and being kind, but that she didn't feel she could tell me why she didn't want me to write to her without being hurtful, so she wasn't going to say anything,  Then she had the unmitigated gall to say she hoped we could part on good terms.  I wasn't going to write back, but I didn't want her to think she had "won" that battle; saying in a high-handed tone that she wasn't going to say the unkind thing she was thinking and then saying she hoped we could part on good terms.  I wrote three responses to her, each of which I deleted, before sending a final answer.  I basically said that she had already been hurtful, that I really didn't care if she disliked me, as she is not an integral part of my life, but that no, she can't have her "cake and eat it too" and no, we are no longer on good terms.  I felt that by encouraging me to do a lot of intimate sharing and then dumping me she had done a lot of damage.  So she can sit with that.  I deleted every email exchange we had had over the past two years, except for some Jacquie Lawson cards that she sent me, and of course I will keep the flowers.  So now it's time to move on.

I had a good solid practice session singing through "Stride la Vampa" and "Condotta".

A Real Birthday

Well, what a difference from last year!

A friend of my mother's took us out to lunch (how different he is from, um, "clueless"; he inherited some money and said he feels he should use it to treat friends) and we had a lovely time.

And on the way home my partner bought me a big bouquet of red roses.  That was in addition to the dress she bought, which I wore, and which she liked seeing me in.

And the two women whose birthday cards came back to them in the mail last year each sent me one, and one also sent a check, which she said could be for me and my partner to have a nice meal out.

LC, the woman who said she never wanted me to contact her again, sent me a bouquet of artificial flowers.  I was totally surprised.  She had said (when we were still speaking) that she was going to send me a bouquet for my birthday, but I had assumed she had become so "allergic" to me that she had totally cut me off.  The flowers are beautiful.  I don't care that they are not real.  The note that came with them was telling, though.  It began "BabyD" and ended "LC".  No "dear" preceding my name and no "love" preceding hers.  But I am  happy she sent them.  I don't care why she did.  In fact, one of the "discussions" she and I had once was about whether it's a positive or a negative if someone does something because they think they "should".  She thought it was a negative (we were talking about office birthday lunches, and coworkers getting together and sending sympathy cards).  I said it was a positive.  Even going to the trouble of doing something you think you "should" is considerate.  Far too few people these days even do that.

In any event, I wrote back to LC saying that I had no idea what I had said or done that was so egregious that she enjoined me from communicating with her, but that whatever it was, I'm sorry.  I mean I'm not sorry if she doesn't want me communicating with her because I am more concerned with my own problems than with national tragedies.  There's nothing I can do about the big national tragedies, so what I do or don't feel versus what she does or doesn't feel is not relevant.

I did delete the blog post in which I said I hated her.  I don't really.  Hate is a strong word.  I just think she's a hypocrite and very selfish.  Also her level of lability (not in the sense of pathological mood lability but in the sense of being passionate about something one minute and wanting it out of your life the next) is not the behavior of a rational adult that I should have been trusting with personal confidences.

And "clueless" sent me a birthday card.  I thanked her for it.  I still think someone as rich as she is could make a better showing, but that's why I don't care if she's in my life or not.  I refrained from saying anything angry to her; I simply said that I was putting on a recital to celebrate my birthday because I was heartbroken that I had no celebration on a milestone birthday when so many people are given the party, the trip, or the present of a lifetime, so I was putting on a recital.  I told her I had been planning it for a year (true).

Now for the most important news: I did a little practicing and it basically went well.  The Handel is still difficult, and after singing it in church (either once or twice) next month I will probably retire it.

It looks like a friend will make a video with her iPad and upload it to Youtube to post on Facebook.

That's really all I want for my birthday.  Something to kvell over.

Old Foes Become New Friends (2)

Well, my concert music is going so well (I can't think of any "tweaking" that needs to be done at this point, other than making sure I am spot on with entrances in the Heggie pieces) that I didn't want to sing it at yesterday's lesson, so I sang through "Stride la Vampa" (which I don't think I'd sung in 35 years) and "Condotta" preferatory to my (tentative) planned Fall concert featuring Act 2 of Trovatore.

All I can say is "Wow"!

I can't believe that I actually know what to do with that B flat!!! For the past two years I have been doing an exercise consisting of a descending octave scale.  For the previous eight years I could not do this above a high A natural, but then one day, something broke through that "gag reflex" and I started being able to do the exercise starting on a B flat, then starting on a B natural, and now I can even do it starting on a C!!!  So I just sing "figlio avea bruciato" with the syllable "a" on a high A, then just chill while the tenor sings "Quale orror!" and vomit out that B flat.  The point is that everything felt so much easier.

Posts are too numerous to link to, but if you read some of what I wrote in the Fall of 2011, you will see what a struggle I had with this aria.  Now I think the whole thing is going to be fun.  (Yes, the word "fun" is OK here; it's a melodrama, not a Requiem.)

Otherwise things are a bit shaky monetarily, but I'm optimistic.  I got some more work (I'm  hoping I can just earn enough to supplement my Social Security), I signed my new lease, and I should get my first Social Security payment a month from now.  I got a birthday card from one of the people whose card came back to them in the mail last year and it was a big card covered with glitter; just my kind of thing.

Wish me luck for Sunday, although I am not nervous at all - other than wondering if my partner will be upset by my singing "Mon Coeur".  If she is, I can tell her my teacher helped me plan the program.  I put her (my partner's) name in the program as the title of one of the song sets, so I'm hoping she stays.  I am going to go get her on the second verse of "Let Me Call You Sweetheart".  I hope I don't cry.

And did I say I'm ending with "Home Sweet Home"?  That was Joan Sutherland's favorite encore, and home is my and my partner's favorite subject.

On Wings of Song

Last night I had the first rehearsal for my birthday concert.  It went really really well.  The only pitfall is that I got tired in the middle of the next to the last piece "I Dreamt I Dwelt in Marble Halls" a lovely aria from Balfe's Bohemian Girl, which, although in a comfortable range, doesn't have many places to breathe.  I am really not too worried, because in the actual concert I will only sing each piece once, and also the pianist will be playing in between some of the sets,  And I gave her instructions about where to take a pause in the Balfe (in each verse) so that I can take a bigger breath than singing in strict time would allow.

The good news is that I had a really pleasant surprise with the Handel.  I think I have figured out how to keep my voice "small" enough to sing the long ornamented runs, despite the fact that my voice is bigger.  I just keep my mouth small (what wind players call a small "embouchure") so that the notes are not "all over the place".  I also figured out some better places to breathe.  I seem to have to breathe somewhere, so I am going to do it toward the end of each run when I'm in one of the low passages.  If there is a low E or F (I'm talking about the notes at the bottom of the staff) that I don't sing no one will notice.

But most of all, I just want to note that I just had a wonderful time.  The kind of time I used to dream of having and now have more often than not, where things are working technically and I can just let my voice soar and think (or in between pieces, talk) about the music.

I have one more rehearsal and then that's it.  I hope it goes well.  I hope my partner can come (she has been told not to go outside for the duration of this five day heat wave).

The only fly in the ointment is I have a bad stye (again) and now have to go to the eye doctor in Brooklyn tomorrow.  It looks horrible.  I'm hoping it will subside enough not to show by  a week from Sunday.

Now I'm going to run the program (with the spoken dialogue and breaks for the pianist).