Well, a powerhouse high G at any event. (Or maybe this could mean the C sharp that I have been singing consistently for the first time in my life.)
My Sunday solo "O Magnum Mysterium" went really well. It was the first time in years that I have sung a "big" piece in church. This new Director of Music has much more eclectic tastes in singing and in fact when we rehearsed the piece I made a joke to the effect that the choir director (who is still the choir director but who no longer schedules solos) would have shot me through the head if he had heard me blast the windows out with the climactic top G, and the new Director said that no, he considered that sort of sound appropriate for a solo if it was marked forte. (He also said once that even in choral singing, if the note is above the staff, sopranos have a "free pass" to sing as loud as we need to to make the note sound good.)
Best of all was that when I sang that piece yesterday I got a lot of compliments including someone telling me it was "awesome".
Maybe I will try "I Know that My Redeemer Liveth" again near Easter? I hadn't planned to sing at all in April because that's when I will be rehearsing Carmen, but I might be able to squeeze it in right after Easter if that is not a choir Sunday. Or I may get to sing another solo bit on Good Friday. And if not I can sing at the noon service the way I did last year. With all the freedom I've been given maybe I can try "Liber Scriptus".
So now it's back to the "Seguidilla". My upper register didn't sound all that great in today's practice, on the other hand I did a lot of singing Christmas Eve (just choral singing and caroling), and then this solo yesterday.
Wednesday I have a lesson.
This year I have not made New Year's resolutions. It seems that usually at some point in the year (usually between July - my birthday month - and September, which feels like the New Year to me) something big happens that leads me to reevaluate where I'm going and what I need to do differently. This year it was the upset over my birthday. Two years ago it was upset over all the snark in the blogosphere over my singing the "Habanera" in the bookstore.
Overall this has been a good year for me. I have been singing better and better, achieving a level of technical proficiency that has surprised me. I have discovered I like helping children with their homework. I was mentioned in an article in Classical Singer. Actually in two articles if you include the anonymous mention of my singing in the bookstore, which wasn't a putdown, really. And hey! It was enough of a "thing" to keep being mentioned over and over. So chutzpah pays. Howevermuch talent, ability, or credentials you do or don't have.
Monday, December 28, 2015
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Aria da Capo?
A few days ago, I ran into a man who used to sing in the choir at my old UU church. The minister with whom I had so much discord has been gone for some time I had run into this man before, and he had invited me to come back and "see what was going on" but I declined. Theologically I still consider myself a Unitarian, but they don't know how to "do" theater the way the high church Protestants do. That's it in a nutshell. And when it comes to social justice organizing, the Lutheran church does as much, if not more, than my old UU church, so all bases are covered. So, OK, I hear things I know are not "true", but hey! myths and fairy tales are lovely, and I am careful what I say and do. I will sing anything, I will wear anything. I don't take communion and don't speak prayers that begin with the words "I believe" because hey! that's not "generic mezzo-soprano church soloist" singing, that's me Babydramatic with her Jewish maternal relatives behind her saying, "I believe". So I pass on that. But all in all, the Lutheran church offers a better package.
This time, however, when I ran into my friend, he said that the church had gotten rid of the choir (who was singing Beatle songs when last heard from) and used "paid guest soloists". He said they even had classical music from time to time. So, well, yes!!! I would love to sing there as a guest if I got paid. I certainly sound as good as a lot of paid soloists, I just have given up trying to become a paid section leader somewhere because I don't sightread and can't seem to be bothered learning.
So I sent in a resume.
We will see.
I have no idea if The Mentor is still going there. I think he spends most of his time traveling teaching dance, now mostly to (female) burlesque dancers. I have totally gotten over my lust for him and my fear of him. I am grateful that he got me to sing. If I hadn't been spellbound by singing Dalila leaning against his powerful wiry body, staring into his eyes as if we were about to float off somewhere for a tryst, I wouldn't be doing all the things I am doing today. So every single tear, even the afternoon he frightened and humiliated me so much that I wanted to jump out his window, was worth it.
I know I won't be thrown if he is there. The last time our paths crossed was in 2010 when I sang an aria from Gounod's Sappho and we had a nice "workmanlike" conversation about vocal technique.
I still would love to figure him out, though. He is not like any gay (or straight) man I have ever met. He is obsessed with women (all his gigs seem to involve him in a gaggle of them and all the pictures he posts show him with one or more females ranging in age from 4 to 94, but never show him with a man) but does not sleep with them. He just gets his jollies from making us think he wants to. Here's his latest Facebook "wall" page. I in fact did post some full length pictures of him a while back (he's enough of a public figure that I don't feel I owe him anonymity) but here's the latest one. I can see that it was cropped from something full length, that shows people's faces. But what can one make of the fact that at the very center of the cropped wall picture is - his crotch!!
This time, however, when I ran into my friend, he said that the church had gotten rid of the choir (who was singing Beatle songs when last heard from) and used "paid guest soloists". He said they even had classical music from time to time. So, well, yes!!! I would love to sing there as a guest if I got paid. I certainly sound as good as a lot of paid soloists, I just have given up trying to become a paid section leader somewhere because I don't sightread and can't seem to be bothered learning.
So I sent in a resume.
We will see.
I have no idea if The Mentor is still going there. I think he spends most of his time traveling teaching dance, now mostly to (female) burlesque dancers. I have totally gotten over my lust for him and my fear of him. I am grateful that he got me to sing. If I hadn't been spellbound by singing Dalila leaning against his powerful wiry body, staring into his eyes as if we were about to float off somewhere for a tryst, I wouldn't be doing all the things I am doing today. So every single tear, even the afternoon he frightened and humiliated me so much that I wanted to jump out his window, was worth it.
I know I won't be thrown if he is there. The last time our paths crossed was in 2010 when I sang an aria from Gounod's Sappho and we had a nice "workmanlike" conversation about vocal technique.
I still would love to figure him out, though. He is not like any gay (or straight) man I have ever met. He is obsessed with women (all his gigs seem to involve him in a gaggle of them and all the pictures he posts show him with one or more females ranging in age from 4 to 94, but never show him with a man) but does not sleep with them. He just gets his jollies from making us think he wants to. Here's his latest Facebook "wall" page. I in fact did post some full length pictures of him a while back (he's enough of a public figure that I don't feel I owe him anonymity) but here's the latest one. I can see that it was cropped from something full length, that shows people's faces. But what can one make of the fact that at the very center of the cropped wall picture is - his crotch!!
In other news, when I was tutoring one of the little girls on Monday, she said she wanted me to sing "Silent Night" (she has heard me sing at the Spanish service), so I sang it a capella without warming up, and she recorded it on her phone!! She said she wants to "copy" my voice. I told her if she likes to sing she should join the Spanish choir, that they are always looking for people. So that's nice.
Next up is "O Magnum Mysterium".
Sunday, December 6, 2015
By the Seat of My Pants
Although I was wearing this lovely skirt.
To start off, when I got to the recording session, it turned out I was going to have to sing the piece once full voice, and a second time "like a lullaby". I was a bit thrown, because I had not practiced singing the piece like a lullaby. Miraculously, I was able to carry it off by singing pianissimo, something I would never have been able to do in that range even a year ago.
The other problem was that the engineer decided it would work better if he recorded the piano accompaniment separately, and then had me sing using it as a soundtrack. This was challenging also, as I had not rehearsed that way, and had relied on the accompanist to cover for me if I came in late or early.
There is one spot that I have trouble with over and over (I wouldn't if I could drill it at home with an accompaniment) and so of course the fourth time I sang the A section with the prerecorded accompaniment (I had already recorded it twice for the regular version and once for the pianissimo version) I got off at that spot, and because the prerecorded accompaniment just galloped ahead without me, I asked to stop, just assuming that the engineer could either erase it and let me start again (at the beginning of the A section) or just splice in the first pianissimo version of the A section (because in Bach you don't ornament the reprise, so it would have been perfectly usable). Anyhow, I am not sure what the problem was, but he said he was not sure he could erase and splice (I was reassured that was his problem not mine; the accompanist said he had never recorded a 6 minute aria without splicing somewhere). So we left it that he would try to do this at his computer and if he couldn't, I could come to his studio some time after New Year and sing against the prerecorded accompaniment (and I would have it at home to rehearse with also).
I am rather surprised I have not heard from him (he thought the filmmaker would call or email him to discuss how things went), but maybe no news is good news.
I did write to the filmmaker the next day to thank her for asking me to sing. Apparently she is going to enter the film in the Cannes festival in March, so this is quite an ambitious project. I am not regretful that I didn't ask to be paid, though, because she is putting it together on a shoestring. She will pay the accompanist, and that will suffice.
She wrote back to me and said that she had had a few screenings of parts of the film in Paris with live music (a choir is singing something in the film as well). So I told her if she shows the film here, anywhere between DC, New York, and Boston, that I can get to on Amtrak, I will be happy to sing (with the prerecorded accompaniment, obviously). I suppose in that case I will ask her to pay for my transportation out of the film budget. It will mean an opportunity to go somewhere which I have so few of (really none).
So now what's up next is "O Magnum Mysterium". I will be singing that in church on December 27. I am quite amazed at how well I can sing all those high climaxes. I can keep my mouth small and sort of drink them in backwards, without a lot of tension and push, which is a whole new experience for me. I got my first taste of it when I worked on the Amneris/Radames duet and was able to easily wail out those B flats if I imagined myself going backwards on a roller coaster.
Of course there is always an underlying sadness that all this is too little too late. I so want to cut and run with this and do nothing else and be young enough that it matters to the world out there, and that I can throw myself into the world out there because I don't have to take care of other people. Really just one other person. But I could never ever live with myself if I walked away from loving her and caring for her. It just would be nice to have a peer relationship with someone like all those singers who are married to each other or to other musicians or, even better, to "mentor" figures like conductors and producers, and who have a "team" in a flurry around them fussing with every aspect of their lives.
The other problem was that the engineer decided it would work better if he recorded the piano accompaniment separately, and then had me sing using it as a soundtrack. This was challenging also, as I had not rehearsed that way, and had relied on the accompanist to cover for me if I came in late or early.
There is one spot that I have trouble with over and over (I wouldn't if I could drill it at home with an accompaniment) and so of course the fourth time I sang the A section with the prerecorded accompaniment (I had already recorded it twice for the regular version and once for the pianissimo version) I got off at that spot, and because the prerecorded accompaniment just galloped ahead without me, I asked to stop, just assuming that the engineer could either erase it and let me start again (at the beginning of the A section) or just splice in the first pianissimo version of the A section (because in Bach you don't ornament the reprise, so it would have been perfectly usable). Anyhow, I am not sure what the problem was, but he said he was not sure he could erase and splice (I was reassured that was his problem not mine; the accompanist said he had never recorded a 6 minute aria without splicing somewhere). So we left it that he would try to do this at his computer and if he couldn't, I could come to his studio some time after New Year and sing against the prerecorded accompaniment (and I would have it at home to rehearse with also).
I am rather surprised I have not heard from him (he thought the filmmaker would call or email him to discuss how things went), but maybe no news is good news.
I did write to the filmmaker the next day to thank her for asking me to sing. Apparently she is going to enter the film in the Cannes festival in March, so this is quite an ambitious project. I am not regretful that I didn't ask to be paid, though, because she is putting it together on a shoestring. She will pay the accompanist, and that will suffice.
She wrote back to me and said that she had had a few screenings of parts of the film in Paris with live music (a choir is singing something in the film as well). So I told her if she shows the film here, anywhere between DC, New York, and Boston, that I can get to on Amtrak, I will be happy to sing (with the prerecorded accompaniment, obviously). I suppose in that case I will ask her to pay for my transportation out of the film budget. It will mean an opportunity to go somewhere which I have so few of (really none).
So now what's up next is "O Magnum Mysterium". I will be singing that in church on December 27. I am quite amazed at how well I can sing all those high climaxes. I can keep my mouth small and sort of drink them in backwards, without a lot of tension and push, which is a whole new experience for me. I got my first taste of it when I worked on the Amneris/Radames duet and was able to easily wail out those B flats if I imagined myself going backwards on a roller coaster.
Of course there is always an underlying sadness that all this is too little too late. I so want to cut and run with this and do nothing else and be young enough that it matters to the world out there, and that I can throw myself into the world out there because I don't have to take care of other people. Really just one other person. But I could never ever live with myself if I walked away from loving her and caring for her. It just would be nice to have a peer relationship with someone like all those singers who are married to each other or to other musicians or, even better, to "mentor" figures like conductors and producers, and who have a "team" in a flurry around them fussing with every aspect of their lives.
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
The Show (or the Rehearsal) Must Go On, and It Did
I had one of the most grueling 24 hour periods from Sunday at 5 pm to the following Monday. I had to take my partner to an urgent care facility because she was semi-comatose from not having eaten, and had a rapid heartbeat and a lot of mental confusion. I took her there because she wouldn't go to the ER. Of course the doctor at the urgent care facility called an ambulance and she went to the ER. Because she had no real diagnosis (all test results were normal other than her rapid heartbeat, which she often has because she has a-fib) she didn't get admitted until 3 am, and even then was admitted to the observation floor. I finally went home (it has probably been over 40 years since I have been out that late trying to get a cab - fortunately one of the nurses went out and got one for me as she is used to being out at that hour) but only slept for four hours.
Then it was up, go to her house, feed her cat, and back to the hospital. I stayed there all day and then went home with her and saw that she had dinner. After several meals, she seemed to be better. Then I went home and slept for 10 hours. The good news is that because she was an inpatient, Medicare will pay for her to get home care for several weeks, certainly more often than the once a week she is getting it now.
Yesterday morning I had my rehearsal for the recording and I sang well, which amazed me because when I warmed up at home I could feel how tired I was. Not the voice itself, but my diaphragm and the whole infrastructure. But singing made me feel better and really the only problems I had were with entrances, not anything vocal. And the accompanist helped me with those.
Some bittersweet news was I heard from him that Little Miss (he knows her from the conservatory where he works) has landed a leading role in another one of the no-pay opera groups that rejected me. So she is on the way to being launched. Of course I am happy for her. I want her to succeed, as so few do. On the other hand I would be being disingenuous if I didn't admit that I am much happier now that she is off my turf. There is really only one other trained singer in the soprano section who is there regularly and she does not have the level of confidence or (apparent) charisma that Little Miss has; for example she was genuinely happy that I was going to be singing the top soprano part in the Handel and that she wouldn't be singing it alone. And she is also busy, so for example at the last rehearsal I was, in essence, the only person singing the soprano part in the Mendelssohn, which I am pretty secure with now, although it is still hard for me to sing as softly as required up in that range (and "choir softly" entails much much less volume than "aria pianissimo"!!)
Lastly, I regrettably will not be able to attend any funeral services for my neighbor. They are all in Queens today and tomorrow. I am sure she will forgive me. When the Tenants Association Secretary sent an email about her passing, she gave her a lovely tribute, referring to what an honor it was to hear this woman "practicing her craft". Lani (the singer who died) used to say things like that to me, although very few of my other neighbors have. I wonder if that's the sort of tribute I will get when I die? (I can't believe I am worrying about this!!)
Then it was up, go to her house, feed her cat, and back to the hospital. I stayed there all day and then went home with her and saw that she had dinner. After several meals, she seemed to be better. Then I went home and slept for 10 hours. The good news is that because she was an inpatient, Medicare will pay for her to get home care for several weeks, certainly more often than the once a week she is getting it now.
Yesterday morning I had my rehearsal for the recording and I sang well, which amazed me because when I warmed up at home I could feel how tired I was. Not the voice itself, but my diaphragm and the whole infrastructure. But singing made me feel better and really the only problems I had were with entrances, not anything vocal. And the accompanist helped me with those.
Some bittersweet news was I heard from him that Little Miss (he knows her from the conservatory where he works) has landed a leading role in another one of the no-pay opera groups that rejected me. So she is on the way to being launched. Of course I am happy for her. I want her to succeed, as so few do. On the other hand I would be being disingenuous if I didn't admit that I am much happier now that she is off my turf. There is really only one other trained singer in the soprano section who is there regularly and she does not have the level of confidence or (apparent) charisma that Little Miss has; for example she was genuinely happy that I was going to be singing the top soprano part in the Handel and that she wouldn't be singing it alone. And she is also busy, so for example at the last rehearsal I was, in essence, the only person singing the soprano part in the Mendelssohn, which I am pretty secure with now, although it is still hard for me to sing as softly as required up in that range (and "choir softly" entails much much less volume than "aria pianissimo"!!)
Lastly, I regrettably will not be able to attend any funeral services for my neighbor. They are all in Queens today and tomorrow. I am sure she will forgive me. When the Tenants Association Secretary sent an email about her passing, she gave her a lovely tribute, referring to what an honor it was to hear this woman "practicing her craft". Lani (the singer who died) used to say things like that to me, although very few of my other neighbors have. I wonder if that's the sort of tribute I will get when I die? (I can't believe I am worrying about this!!)
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