Almost exactly two years ago I wrote this article and thought that this would be a good time for a second pass.
The "triggering event" was the posting, by an incredibly troubled gay trans man, of a picture of Heidi Klum in a costume, which, silly out of touch me (!), I thought was a real picture of a woman in her late 70s or 80s. I do not attribute his being "troubled" to his being trans or gay; I only mention these things because here is someone super-sensitive to his own issues, yet totally clueless about the sting of ageism. (He posted the picture with a comment saying "this is how I feel if people ask me out after 9 pm.) Quite frankly, it doesn't matter if this was a real picture of an elderly woman, or not. I skimmed the Heidi Klum article to see what her rationale was for choosing this costume for Hallowe'en but couldn't find anything other than that she liked to work hard to make costumes realistic (someone is shown painting varicose veins on her legs). If she had done this as a teachable moment, to teach people about ageism (similarly to slim women who have put on a "fat suit" to highlight that fat people are treated with less respect than slim people) that would have been fine, and I am not judging her, only questioning the taste and sensitivity shown by the person who posted the picture. (I mean long ago people decided it was offensive for white people to dress up in blackface whether those people themselves were actually racist or not. Ditto posting photographs of white people dressed up in blackface.) I quite frankly don't see any difference here.) I unfriended him. I am sick of him anyhow. He is one of the most self-absorbed, narcissistic people I have ever met. I gave him a pass on all that because of his own struggles, including that his mother died recently (she was younger than I am), but enough is enough. Grow up! Despite having unfriended him, I got a comment to my comment by one of his (female) friends that was insulting, childish, full of coarse language, and basically beside the point. I should pity these children. God help them if they ever decide to grow up.
I mean I have spent the past nine months caring for a woman in her 80s who may be near death, fighting bureaucracies that would be just as happy if she died, especially now. I have become knowledgeable about services that are available to seniors (which I may need to avail myself of as well at some point - I am going to be 67). I have had serious, real, conversations with people about aging. These are real problems.
After reading the inane offensive commentary of this young man and his friends I feel that I need a bath.
With that, I will end with paraphrasing a quote from Law and Order's Jack McCoy (in a far darker, uglier context): "I guess there are some people who don't deserve to grow old." Growing old is a privilege, young pup, not a joke.
