The reason I am sitting here writing this late at night is that I just got home from Follies. A friend had sold me her ticket at half price because she was going to be out of town.
I don't plan to recap everything about the show here, you can read about this production here.
It had many luminous stars, including Bernadette Peters, who is a year older than I am and looks and sounds luscious (and in this production she actually sings up in an operatic range - something I had never heard her do before).
For me, of course, the star of the evening was Rosalind Elias. She is 82 and her voice is still velvety, luscious, and fresh. I don't know how high she sang - maybe up to an F or F sharp, but if she is sounding like that at her age, I should certainly be able to sing the material I am singing for at least another decade if not longer. And interestingly, her number (a duet with her younger self, sung by a young lyric soprano) got the most applause of any in the show.
As for the "one step back", at today's lesson I had a bear of a time with that bloody B flat in "Condotta" again. I have no trouble singing it if I just sing the five measures before, but singing from the beginning I get there, sound great on the A, and then just panic, gasp for breath, and scream. My teacher will be singing it with me as a duet, and he said just to sing the A with him on "Quale Orror" and if I can scoop up a teensy bit to the B flat, do that, and then it won't be hard. Everything else I'm singing in that program is easy and fun.
I am feeling bummed out because it's very unusual to sound worse in a lesson than I did practicing at home (yesterday I didn't sound great, but I thought I sounded better than I did today). (Although I sang long arpeggios up to a full voice high C, something I can't seem to do at home.)
I should add here that I have been having a very, very, very hard time with personal things over the past few days. My partner, who is 15 years older than I am (we are really in some ways separated - we don't live together) and in poor health is more and more unable to take care of herself. I am now involved with three social service agencies trying to set something up - either get her into assisted living or have an aide in the house, but she is balking at everything. I am very drained and have spent a lot of time on the phone (and my speaking voice is a disaster - I have never been able to place it properly particularly when I'm upset).
So now I am going to bed. One wonderful thing about being a freelancer is that I don't have to set the alarm most of the time, except on Sunday when I sing in church.
I am getting up in the morning, talking to one social worker on the phone, working (I earn my living editing medical journals), going to see another social worker, and then coming home to practice. I am going to read an affirmation that I printed out (I will have to look for it!) and then go back to "Condotta" and try to sing through it without panicking at the dreaded spot like a horse balking at a fence.
Do you think that you're bringing too much weight to the top? I think it helps to just relax, feel grounded, and try to get a lighter feeling even though you are singing full voice. In other words, maybe you are trying to sing too heavily on top? I have worked on this issue, and I have a heavier, thicker voice, so I am wondering if thinking more light at the top (even though it won't sound light) may help? It will probably sound white to your ears, but it will sound rich on the outside.
ReplyDeleteWhat should I do to accomplish that? I don't try to sing heavily, I just try to keep my ribcage up and my larynx down. I know singing a dark vowel seems to help. I know that I don't have a falsetto that goes above a G (to sing higher than that I have to sing full voice) and do not have a "whistle register" of any kind. In the past when I have thought "light" I have squeezed my larynx to make my voice smaller which makes things worse.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, I'm trying to come up with the right words to try to explain. I don't have anything over a high E-flat that I can just touch in vocalizations, and my highest usable not is a C sharp, but I also don't have any sort of whistle register. The issues I've been working on the past year are not bringing heaviness into the passaggio and upper voice.
ReplyDeleteSometimes if I get nervous, I tend to "push" into a high note and bring up bunches of weight, but this causes all sorts of problems, and can even cause a voice crack. "Lighter" is not the best word- I guess I'm trying to think "easier" or "gentler" when approaching upper notes?
In other words, don't try to push out high notes. I sing up to a C sharp in full voice and also get tensions and "squeeze" when I try to lighten.
Focus on the vowel you are singing on when you approach the high note, and sing through the vowel. Concentrating on pulsing through the vowel should keep the placement correct and the ring through the note. Don't think of pushing the note out, but releasing it. An energy is needed for high notes, but not a panicked energy, more of a focused, calm energy. Does that make sense?
And if the issue is the B flat, maybe you can do a vocalize that involves going to the B and then going down to the B flat, as it won't seems as high. You can also use lip trills on the passage to get the feeling of breath flow in that passage, as well as a better idea of the placement.
I hope this helps a little, maybe you can talk about this with your teacher?
The main things he says are to keep my support going (feel like my midsection is a beach ball), think a dark vowel, and think down. My main problem, as I saw today, is panicking in between the word "brucciato" which goes up to an A, and which I have no trouble with, and the B flat, which by the book I should just sing off the cuff (something I can't really do) so my teacher said to come back in on an A (he is singing an A - we are singing this whole scene together as a duet)and scoop up. What I need to do is breathe! which I think I don't because I panic. He has said NO!!! to the whole idea of "lip trills". I tried doing one once and he said it will cause tension. It seems to be a favorite thing of sopranos, as I got the idea from hearing some of the sopranos in my choir do it as a warmup. What you did remind me of, though, is an exercise he would have me do from time to time, which I haven't done recently, and that helps with high notes: singing on a v consonant (no vowel). I can do arpeggios on this up to a high C.
ReplyDeleteAh, sorry about the lip trills- I didn't know they would cause tension. It sounds like your teacher is leading you the right way and making good suggestions, so you are in good hands. You just need to be patient with yourself. Have you tried relaxation techniques that might help with the panic? I have panic issues also, except it mostly affects my lower register when I'm nervous, rather than the high notes. Also, practicing relaxation when you're singing at home might be helpful, because you are alone and you shouldn't feel the need to stress out. Being your own worst critic is sometimes not so helpful.
ReplyDeleteYou're right about relaxation. I know that the whole problem is that I'm not breathing properly because I panic. I have no trouble at all singing that note if I have everything set up (the image that comes to mind is the set-up a gymnast uses before a vault). But if I'm panicking then everything goes out the window. Today I wasn't able to sing because I was taking care of my partner in her apartment but I "thought through" that section, mapping out where I was going to breathe and trying to map the whole thing into my muscle memory. Thanks for all your help. And yes, I'm very happy with my teacher. I'm probably not getting everything from him but I feel that I'm getting about 90% because if I do what he tells me I always sing better.
ReplyDelete