Something Old, Something New

As for the something old, which I am trying not to seethe over: we are singing a very complex piece for Christ the King Sunday.  When I listened to the sound file, it sounded as if it had a solo quartet in it.  It does, in fact (or mostly a solo trio, ATB).  So I said to the choir director that I would be interested in singing the alto part.  Whoever is singing on the sound file has a rich mezzo voice like mine (well, in the largest scheme of things, my voice may not be that "rich", but it certainly is for a choir of singers with smaller voices).  He said he would probably have all the altos sing it, and  I can see the point in that; otherwise people don't have that much singing to do.  Ideally, looking the piece over, it should have two or three full choir sections and the rest interspersed solos (mostly ATB trios, and a few SSA sections).  But as it is a choir anthem, everything might as well be sung by everyone.  But here's the rub.  There is one long, achingly beautiful, arching phrase that sits on a high A, that is labeled "soprano solo" .  As no one else can sing it (there are two new high sopranos but they are not trained), it will go to "you know who" (who does not come to Wednesday rehearsals any more, but sings Sundays) and then it will become a "thing", and people will ooh and ah over it, and no one will care how many vocal assets other people (including Yours truly) are bringing to this endeavor, and I'm just sick of the whole gestalt.

Fortunately I will be singing "Patiently Have I Waited for the Lord" from the Saint Saens Christmas Oratorio the following Sunday, the Sunday after Thanksgiving, which has no choir scheduled (the church now has four choirs).  As for the "something new" there are some personnel changes in the music program at the church, which may change the "tone" slightly.  A man who is an experienced choral conductor (whom I have known for a while;  he used to have a smaller role in the music program) has now been made head of all the music ministries at the church.  Our regular choir director is still directing our choir, but he is no longer involved in services that don't use our choir.  So, for example, how I got the opportunity to sing on November 30 came about because this man asked our choir if anyone wanted to do anything on that day, as there was no anthem scheduled.  So I volunteered and he put me in touch with a new pianist that they have, who will be playing.  In any event, I have a hunch (hope?) that this new director is a little more savvy about how to deal with groups. Just to keep things straight, I think our current choir director is wonderful at leading the choir, is a superb musician, doesn't ask people to do things that are vocally harmful, and is basically a good person, but does not know how to handle group dynamics all that well (by which I mean not realizing that it will tick certain people off if he keeps giving this young lady special treatment.)  Which makes sense, as he started out as a concert pianist and piano teacher not a choral conductor, so he may not have taken classes in group psychology or that type of thing.  So for example, I think that this new director would be more sensitive to seeing to it that solo and featured opportunities are more evenly divided among the people who want them and most particularly, that they are more evenly divided among voice types.  And he may have different taste in voices.  For example, I think our current choir director just does not like big dramatic singing.

Another "something new" that has pleased me is that there are new people in the choir who are not trained singers, and they have asked me for help; not about singing, but about foreign pronunciation and things like how to "parse" a piece so that they know which part they are singing and when to come in.  No one did that before.

At one of my last therapy session, I lit a candle and made a wish.  I was told to make the wish pretty general.  So I wished for "joy and visibility".  For me they are both connected to some extent.  I often can experience contentment, or "serenity" (boooooring, although I suppose it might not be if I didn't have it), but rarely joy, elation, or anticipatory excitement.  In any event, a lot of those latter are tied up in visibility for me.  Wanting to be somewhere where I feel that my talents and skills can sparkle and shine and I can get praise and recognition (after I've worked very hard for it, of course) is just hard-wired into my DNA, I think.  Some people don't want those things.  Interestingly,  I don't particularly want praise for "doing good".  I think doing good is important (which is why I take care of my loved one, even though she drives me crazy) but I don't do it to get praise or recognition.  But if I count the times Little Miss Conservatory has gotten public praise or recognition during these choir rehearsals with the number of times I (or most people) have, it boils down to about 20 to 1.  She may very well have a real career in front of her.  So can't I be allowed to shine in a choir where no one gets paid, pls?  

I still have hopes for the Alzheimer chorus.  I have no idea what will come of it (if they have regular rehearsals in the snowy season it may not be manageable for my partner, or they may think we're not suitable), but if it works out, it will not only be a source of shared enjoyment with my partner (and be something we can do out of the house!!) but it may be an area in which I can shine and use my talents.  And be visible.