As one of my soapbox issues is how much I resent people who belittle those who sing or perform for free, I now have yet another argument. Unless you have a large living room with a piano, it is really not all that easy to find places to do solo singing for free.
First, the opera and other groups that don't pay people. Those are so overrun with semi-pros, emerging pros, and pros who can't get work (or aren't paid to sing roles that they want to sing) that they are off the table for someone like me. I do sing in a church choir that performs high level music (and I insist on staying in the soprano section to keep my upper register in shape) but choral music just doesn't "do it" for me. Yes, I love being in that choir and aren't giving it up any time soon, but I would like to be doing more. I also occasionally get to sing a solo, but solos at this church are not a big priority, so we're talking about maybe four times a year. The church hosts other events, but needless to say because it's on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, the people who perform there are "up and coming" chamber music groups. They even hosted some of Marilyn Horne's foundation receipients' recitals in the past. A secular-themed talent show for the choir people? Not happening. They have poetry slams and "coffee houses" for people who sing and play the guitar, but nothing that I would be interested in doing.
So here's what I've done so far, since I started singing in 2004.
1. Two talent shows at the Unitarian Church, before they dumped all the classical music.
2. One concert at a cash-strapped church that wanted to raise money.
3. One concert version of Samson et Dalila at the church where I sing now, as part of a series to raise money for the Tiffany windows.
4. A concert at a studio that I had to pay to rent, where the air was so foul (they had an air conditioner that they had not cleaned) that I choked my way through it.
5. A concert version of the Verdi Requiem at the church where I sing. I billed it as a fundraiser for their food pantry.
6. A concert version of Carmen sponsored by a woman who runs a group that puts on various sorts of performances. I also sang in concerts on September 11 and in her living room, but at some point she either "went off" classical music, or "went off" me, or both.
7. Two abridged concert operas at an LGBT senior center (I might call them again; the only problem is that I had a quarrel with a case worker there; on the other hand, she has nothing to do with the special events staff).
8. Two concerts at a nursing home.
If readers are asking "why now"? The reason is that I have come to two dead ends trying to find a concert venue. The nursing home where my partner was last year, which has a beautiful room with a piano, had originally said that I could get in contact with the event coordinator, but I left him two voice mail messages and left one message with his assistant (live) but they never called back. Today I got in touch with a library where my voice teacher will be performing with the pay to sing group he sings with (he doesn't pay anything, as they always need men) and they said they didn't need any more musical events right now and that I would be subject to "extreme vetting" (fine, but I think Hell will freeze over before they get in touch with me).
So I just want to put my head down and sob. I feel that I have all this huge solo voice that's bursting out of me and nobody is interested. So OK, I'm not a finished product, I'm not young, and I have no resume other than the above. But to anyone, even a music lover with an ear, who's not an obsessive opera afficianado or a high level trained classical singer, I have something to offer. And I'm not ready to throw in the towel.
I have long thought that you need a network of similarly situated amateur instrumentalists to collaborate with! But it is frustrating. I left my choir for many reasons, but the number 1 was that I realized that the choir member is not the artist. The choir members merely bring to life the choir directors artistic vision and interpretations.I was frustrated and dissatisfied singing in a choir where I disagreed with so much about musical interpretation. I want to make my own decisions about my own vision! But for now, at least, I don't have the time, energy or funds to pursue that in any meaningful way, so I'm in a no-man's-land.
ReplyDeleteI am happy with my choir for now because it provides an opportunity for me to sing challenging music regularly. I don't see myself primarily as a choral singer and I have to be very very careful not to do vocally harmful things to "blend". But if I didn't sing in this choir I would't sing at all except in my bathroom. And if I sing with the choir I get solo opportunities several times a year. The "problem" is that solos are not a priority at this church. And anyplace they would be I would be competing with all the professionals, emerging professionals, and semi-professionals. I don't know if you caught onto this from reading my blog, but I live around the corner from Lincoln Center. I am a third generation New Yorker who never learned to drive, so for that and a million other reasons moving is not an option but I can't think of a worse place for someone like me at my level to be living. Also singing with the choir is one of the few times I mingle with people. I work at home alone as an editor and otherwise am a caregiver to an 83-year-old. The problem is I have yet to meet other people like me. I know it's considered a cop-out to say "it's not what you know it's who(m) you know" but I think one of my problems is that I don't have a network because I didn't go to a conservatory and wasn't a music major. None of the "amateur" opera groups want me (one thing I am not doing for free is singing in an opera chorus and anyhow with my caregiving responsibilities I need to be in charge of my own rehearsal schedule) and any time I tried to go to a "meetup" where there were other singers I was the oldest and least experienced and I had no "role". The older singers behaved in a mentorly way to the younger singers but I didn't fit anywhere in that dyad. The other singers I know are all amateurs who are really just amateurs and don't want to do much other than choral singing. The problem is that the bar is set so high for everything here. Do you live anywhere near here? Should we try to meet in person?
ReplyDeleteI would love to, but I'm in Chicago! Also, while I would love to have a singing accountability buddy, I think you need a group of amateur instrumentalists to work on repertoire with. (Not another singer...unless you would want to sing duets with a low mezzo!) I keep thinking of your facility with Bach, and how fun it would be to get a string quartet and oboeist together and do one of the cantatas. Have you heard of groupmuse? It looks like they're mostly young amateur musicians who want to keep their skills sharp after graduating from college. But who cares about their age as long as they are interested in performance?
ReplyDeleteI will look into groupmuse some time next week. I can't say that I have much hope, though. I do bump into various types of intstrumentalists at the church(that was a great suggestion, by the way) but they are all embedded in conservatory/music major networks through which they know singers and I am pretty sure they would not be interested in me. I really need to meet other people around my age who have developed a later in life obsession. If I didn't have caregiving responsibilities I would look around for a meetup or start one, and if it was going to be focused around seniors, we could have it in the afternoon which is when I like to do things for a variety of reasons. I was involved with a meetup for a while that I found very satisfying (the woman even put on living room "musicales") but she either went off me, or off classical music, or both. In any event the last few times I tried to contact her she wasn't doing the kinds of things I would want to do (I am not interested in being in a silly musical comedy), or she just flat out said she wanted "new people".
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