Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Fighting with Randall

After reading last night's comments from Zachary, I decided to focus really hard on support during my practice.  I agree that I probably don't have enough support to keep singing with my voice at full size for as long as someone younger who's been singing longer, but I'm not sure I agree that lack of support is what makes my voice "coarse".  I do think that when my voice gets coarse (too much talking?  too much humidity? too much pollen?) if I had a superhuman level of support I might be able to push past the problem, but I don't.

Today I didn't go out at all (hence my voice was less coarse in general - I'm sure one of yesterday's culprits was the humidity) but had a frustrating day dealing with the work web site (they want me to purchase some kind of software, but as I can view it sometimes and in fact was able to download all the work I needed today and for the next week at least, I am not ready to throw money at the problem yet.)

Anyhow I finally took a practice break after dinner and overall I sounded better (I could easily sing arpeggios up to a B and after some struggle a C) and the first two rounds of that treacherous ascending phrase in the Thompson weren't bad, but then I tried singing it with the recording and I could just tell I wasn't going to make it up there unless I just girded my loins and screamed (when I say I "scream" I don't mean I do anything harmful to the voice, only to the choir director's ears).

Now (I hope you're there Zachary because I'd like some feedback) I think the problem is support but not in the sense of not having enough support.  I certainly have enough support to sing that phrase if I'm not tired, even to sing it with the high A mezzo piano, not fortissimo.  But I've had so many bad experiences with that note that when I come to it, particularly if I think ok, now this is the acid test, I panic and don't breathe properly and lose my support.  It's like a horse balking at a fence.  And this has happened to me over and over and over and over and over.  I have had hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of bad experiences, mosly with B flats (B naturals have always been unattainable for singing in public really) but sometimes with As as well.  And if I'm singing choral music, it's not as if I can say to myself: "OK, on a good day it will be pretty and on a bad day it will be kind of crass, but it will always be" the way I do with certain arias.  I mean I've heard some pretty ugly high As come out of Olga Borodina and Giulietta Simionato, the latter even on recordings.  The problem is that if it isn't pretty I have to shut up so of course I'm just terrified. 

And actually the better my dramatic singing is, the harder it is to sing up there as softly as a bunch of untrained sopranos with one professional coloratura thrown in.  Of course if I were in a paid choir I wouldn't be in the soprano section anyhow.  I do  like being there because second soprano is the part that suits me best, and we often do pieces with two soprano parts.   I doubt the choir director would want me singing alto on this piece: except for the high A (the A flat is no problem for me) most of it's in a lower middle register and the alto part is even lower. 

I just don't know what to do about this panic.  I have less of it than I used to and the more positive reinforcement I get the less panic I have.  But of course the choir director wants me to sing everything above an E as softly as I can, even in most solos, and then there's my partner telling me how much she hates high singing - at least mine.  So I've just been cowed.

I mean I don't have stage fright at all!!  I can get up and sing solos in a limited range - including things requiring enormous breath control like "Et Exsultavit" and, yes "Rejoice Greatly" (which only goes up to an A flat and that only in passing) until the cows come home.

4 comments:

  1. Ok, so I'm completely convinced that I'm the last person who should try to get into a discussion about vocal technique. Putting vocal concepts into words has always been difficult for me. But, here goes-

    A true dramatic mezzo is a rare and highly difficult fach. The odds of finding one with the capability of singing piano or even mezzo piano at the top of her range is an incredibly rare, nigh impossible task. I think that you should absolutely cut yourself some slack and should not worry about obtaining this sound, especially in a choral situation.

    I also don't like to think of it has having "enough" support. For me it's more about the right kind of support. For the sake of "why the hell not" why don't you try tucking your butt into an almost sitting position, completely relax your gut, your obliques, etc (let them hang) and breathe into your lower back. As you go up on those ascending phrases allow all the nerves, all the tension your feeling about those high notes to be felt in your upper legs. Feel like there's a nickel in between your upper thighs and you've gotta make the buffalo poop. While doing that try to COMPLETELY release all of the tension between your chest and your sinuses. Just let it all go, take the tension that wants to be there and let it go to your lower half. The highest notes should feel the freest of all in your throat.

    If all that helps take some tension away, go further. Really work it out until you feel completely free. When that works full voice then go even further. Go freer, go further into your thighs, lower back, etc and then try to really take the air away. Send the sound out behind you, as though the audience is behind you. That, in a nut shell, is the way I understand how to produce a free, spinning, supported piano.

    It's not about just singing more quietly. It's about the most efficient use of air and using that decreasing (NOT decreased with the throat but with the support mechanism) amount of air to create a piano sound.

    I am sure that none of that made sense and that I sound like I'm completely talking out of my ass.

    Vocal technique, as I'm sure you know, is hard as balls. It takes a lot of trial and error and a lot of physical strength in the right places. All of that makes singing well in a choir pretty effing difficult. So don't get frustrated about that. The most successful opera singers I know were absolutely horrific choral singers.

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  2. Actually, the "sending the sound behind me" technique is one that I use and when I can do that, the sound is excellent. As I said I think part of my "support" problem has to do with fear, at which point I freeze, don't take the proper kind of breath, and then of course I have no support.

    I will see if I can't print out your comments about the pooping buffalo (LOL!) and use them when I do my warmup tonight.

    As for fach, I am 90% positive I'm a dramatic mezzo. When I sang in my 20s I was a lyric (what else does a Lesbian sing except pants parts?) although I did sing the role of Laura in Gioconda onstage, which I think is sort between fachs (like Charlotte in Werther).

    But when I came back to singing, except that my lower middle register doesn't have a lot of volume (which is why I don't like singing in the alto section in choirs) most coaches I've worked with say I'm a dramatic. My teacher is a bit on the fence although he says I should be working on Amneris and Azucena (and Laura and Charlotte and of course Carmen and Dalila) not Dorabella!!

    I read a blog entry by Toreadorsong (are you familiar with him?) about dramatic voices and all of it resonated, most particularly that the higher I sing, the louder my voice gets, which is not true of a lot of lyric mezzos, who actually sound as light as sopranos on top. Also that the louder I sing (and I don't mean "pushing") the less tired I get.

    The reason I sing in this choir is, basically, it's my only regular venue and I get to be a regular soloist. Even though people don't get paid, the level is quite high, but not too high (by which I mean we can sing difficult music like the Mozart Requiem and various Bach cantatas) but I am among the best 3 out of 20 so it is a morale booster. And the choir director is really an angel (he tells me to shush but has never ever told anyone to sing "straight tone") and the people there are nice.

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  3. Classifying our voices as we get older does become a problem. I too have documented my own experiences in this regard, in particular here: http://bonne-chanson.blogspot.com/2011/04/unclassified.html

    And I gave up choir singing a few years ago because I could no longer produce the required (unsupported!) tone at the top of the stave.

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  4. As I told a previous commenter, my main reason for being involved with this choir is it's a regular place to sing and I doubt if I would get solo opportunities if I weren't singing in the choir as well. My musicianship (I have no formal musical training, only vocal training) has improved by leaps and bounds as a result, including my quasi-sightreading, and the choir director is really very sensitive to voices. He has never tried to make me sing an unsupported sound - only not to sing up there at all if it's going to be loud, or sometimes he switches me to the alto section if both the soprano and alto parts are higher than usual and there are only two women's parts. Most of the time as a second soprano I don't have to sing anything higher than a G. I don't like most alto parts because they are either very low or have an extremely limited range. (Just because I can't sing a gorgeous floating high A doesn't mean I want to be almost never singing above a D!)

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