I have written very little this month, which is totally out of character. First of all, my partner is in the middle of a crisis, albeit this time one not of her own making. She lives on the sixth floor of a seven story building, and for going on 14 days now, the elevator has not been working. It worked briefly over this past weekend, but then went out again, possibly because an inspector from the Department of Buildings came (at the tenants' request) and then declared the elevator unsafe? In any event, this situation deserves big time compensation for the tenants, but they have to organize and fight for it, otherwise all that will happen is the landlord will be fined.
The good news is she has recovered from her cataract surgery (on one eye) and just needs new glasses now. She can have the other eye done next year and then get another pair of new glasses. I had to walk her down and back up the stairs to go to her follow-up appointment. Tomorrow she has to go to the pulmonologist and says she thinks if she walks slowly she can get down and back up the stairs. She has severe COPD, a heart condition, a replaced hip, and dicey vision with her old glasses. She has not yet asked me to come with her and walk her, but I could do it if I trade it off for another time chunk to myself.
But this is yet again a validation of my heartbreak over my inability to have any kind of fulfilling "third act" to my life because I am so emotionally drained from caregiving. The situation with my partner is heartbreaking, and the fact that my life is going down the drain, at least to some extent, is also heartbreaking.
Amidst all this, however, I think this concert is going well, at least the group is one in which I feel comfortable. Of course that is because I am one of the more experienced and trained performers, which is always where I flourish best. I do well with criticism in one on one sessions, then going forth somewhere were I don't feel totally outclassed and hence ignored. There is one other woman in this group with a big operatic voice that needs some fine tuning, who is probably not much younger than I am.
On a technical note, the woman producing the concert (who is very nice, supportive, and knowledgeable) has a totally different approach to vowels, from that of my teacher. He always tells me to sing "aw" on the vowel "ah" because "ah" easily becomes "ang" (like in the name "Anne"), which causes the voice to spread and makes it difficult to sing higher. Well, this woman told people to put an "ang" in the "ah". I am singing "Et Exsultavit" which is an easy range, so it really doesn't matter. She wants me to look happy and smile when I sing it and use bright vowels. As I said, it is in an easy range so it doesn't matter how I sing the vowels. All that matters is singing that long phrase on "salutari" on one breath, which is easy for me to do and seems to impress people.
I am also going to sing the Dvorak "God is my Shepherd". She didn't like the Handel "Heroes" piece. She said it was too low for me and did not show off my voice. She also said I was a lyric mezzo, which is interesting. I suppose I sound like one (or like a "second soprano", which is not an opera, but only an oratorio fach) when I sing church music. I do tend to be most comfortable singing things that sit in an upper middle register but don't go too high.
I also have a few solo lines in a version of "This Little Light of Mine" that I am singing as a trio with two other women.
In any event, this should be a nice concert (it will be a mix of classical and non-classical music and poetry readings) and I like the people participating very much.
In a little while I will go practice, hope that those newfound Bs and Cs are still there, and do some work on the Requiem.
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