Carmen is going well. The tenor is on board. We have a Micaela. The accompanist is intrigued by the project. And I discovered how much I enjoy creating a performance piece. In putting together the script from the novella I was able to use my playwriting skills. True, these are Merimee's words, not mine, but in fact they're not entirely his words because what I have is an English translation. So a lot of artistry went into selecting which passages to read, where to omit things, and when to change archaic language.
And the wonderful news is that I think this project has legs. The woman producing it is known for, among other things, a one woman show that she does using readings and songs. I can easily see how I could turn this into one. What I like about it is it's its own unique entity. Yes, I sang the role of Dalila, but other people can do that better, and the Met can produce it more lavishly. And big orchestras can certainly do better with the Verdi Requiem. And all these small opera groups can do a better job with a complete production of Carmen. But I was the one who thought up this project and it is unique.
Maybe feeling happy and artistically fulfilled by this has allowed me to do some reality checks.
I will probably never be a real Verdi mezzo. I still believe that I could have been one if I had begun studying when I was younger (or even if I'd just continued on with where I was at 30). My voice is certainly big enough, it has the right palette of colors, and I have a dramatic temperament. But as a late starter who started at the age many singers retire, when my body was starting to get weaker, I simply have neither the range nor the stamina.
I also have decided to transpose the last page of the Seguidilla down a half step. If it was good enough for Grace Bumbry on the recording, it is good enough for me. I mean even then it's not a sure thing because a B flat is not 100% in my range either, but it's certainly 85% in my range, which a B natural is not (for the B natural I would say 50%, which is not good enough for a peformance). I also realized that one thing that was causing me problems was trying to sing staccati up the scale and end with that little hiccup where you jump from an F sharp to a B. I realize that one of the handful of B flats I never had trouble with was in the aria from Sappho, because I sing it legato and use the line, and a portamento effect, to keep it anchored. So I can do that with the Seguidilla. I will just ignore the staccati once I progress to the E, take a breath before hand, and make a nice swoopy scale. And ignore the grace note.
I think what's at issue here is that I realized what I want most is to make a mark somehow as a performing artist. When all is said and done it doesn't matter if I sing this or that operatic role. I don't think I could be happy singing nothing but church solos because I have too flamboyant a personality. But, for example, I could be totally happy taking this pastiche of spoken word and song that revolves around Carmen into various educational venues (my new mentor could help me with that) wearing a fabulous costume and even (just for instance) omit that page of the Seguidilla with the high note entirely. There are all kinds of things I could do. I could learn the original Habanera that Elina Garanca sings on her recording. And combine both Habaneras with the songs by Manuel Garcia from the Spanish song book that I bought. So there is any number of things to do where I can satisfy my need to sing, to sparkle, to be center stage, to have fun, and to make an art form the centerpiece of my life.
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