The Bitter, The Sweet, and the As-Yet Unknown

That's what life is basically; the bitter and the sweet.

Because I am trying so hard not to be a "downer", and because so many good things are happening, I want to start with

The Sweet:

1. All in all, yesterday's musicale event (where I sang the Act 2 duet from Carmen) went really well.  I lost my note after the tenor aria (waiting for applause, which never came, probably because people thought we were in the middle of a scene) and then had no clue which note to start on.  And I also got lost at the very end, but I caught up, and we ended with a kiss.  And I just love, love, love acting this role.

2. This tenor and I have quite a bit of chemistry on stage, which surprised me.  He's a hard person to read; I have no idea if he even likes me, but he is respectful and professional, and he has a great sense of humor.

3. The producer was very pleased.  Here is what she wrote on her Web site:

Thank you, [BabyD], for your lovely comments about our musicale! I'm happy I was able to help you realize your dream of singing Carmen!!!!, and look forward to your May 4 concert. You've made great strides with Carmen. I'm very proud of you! It's not easy music! Thank you, also, for bringing your guest, tenor _________, to sing the duet, yesterday.

4. I am so grateful to have found someone who is really interested in me, in more of a holistic way.  Sometimes her advice is questionable (about vowels; also about singing the higher notes in some portions of the duet) but her breadth of knowledge about various types of repertoire, style, languages, acting, and presentation is quite astounding, and since "the mentor" is not something I have had access to.

5. One of the women from the choir came and she was very supportive and complimentary.  I also introduced her to the producer.  I think they may really hit it off, as they both are interested in Spanish culture.


The Bitter:

The night before this concert, Little Miss Conservatory had her senior recital.  Don't get me wrong.  I think she is a major talent and is very sweet.  I just resent that there seems to be nothing that I can do that can really be noticed or appreciated with her in the spotlight (which she just is; I do not think she grabs it unfairly) 24/7.  There is just a subtle way, for example, that the choir director behaved about her recital that he has never behaved about anything I've been involved in, even if he attended it.  And there is buzz among the women in the choir, including a number who would never attend anything I sang in.  So once again, I feel my joy is tempered or tarnished by being outdone.


The As-Yet Unknown:

1. I still don't know if I am singing "O Rest in the Lord" on Maundy Thursday.  If not, I am going to make a big push to sing something with the violinist after Easter, if for no other reason, then to memorialize the violinist who died.  We were thinking of "Domine Deus".  I also want to send him the music for "Erfreute Zeit" maybe to do in the summer.

2. I have no idea if I (or the choir) will be asked to perform (or whatever the appropriate word is) at the violinist's funeral.  I had thought I might be asked because we had performed together.  I thought it would be tacky to volunteer (this is one of those situations in which I have no idea where the line is between being pushy and going after something I want), but I did ask the choir director if "we" (meaning the choir) would be singing.  He said "hmmm, that's a good idea; I will have to think about it", whatever that means.  I have not heard anything, but there was a posting on the church's Facebook page that "musicians were assembling to give the violinist a send off with the music he loved".  What musicians?  If it will only be instrumentalists I am OK with that, and if the other mezzo (the woman who is older than I am, with a beautiful trained voice, who has health issues and does not sing out) is asked to sing I will be happy too.  She was very close friends with the violinist and performed in his living room at salons from time to time, so she would have earned it.  On the other hand....if they ask someone else to sing...Well, I can't think about that.

ETA: I heard back from the choir director, and he said that the other church that shares our building will be doing the Maundy Thursday service, so I will be singing "O Rest in the Lord" on Palm Sunday at 9.  I suppose it is an all purpose piece that will suffice, although at 11 the choir will be singing something upbeat.  I have sung it recently, so it won't need much rehearsal and it will be part of the season's Mendelssohn theme.  I also used our email exchange as an opportunity to ask about the funeral.  I said I had read that "musicians were assembling" and that I would be honored to participate in some way as part of a group or singing a solo.  If they are only using instrumentalists that is fine.  My only strong feeling is that if there is going to be singing it should either be the choir (or a smaller group from the choir who will be there on that morning) or it should be a soloist who had some relationship with this violinist, which would be one of the older choir members who actually sang with him.