At first glance this post will seem to diverge from the topic of the day, but there is a connection. As a late-starting classical singer who, no matter how hard I work, no matter how well I now sing, will never ever be as polished as someone who spent 8 years at a conservatory as a vocal performance major, this article really hit home. I am probably not what he means by a true amateur or a hobbyist. I sing well, well enough to give solo recitals, sometimes with other people, at nursing homes and senior centers, and to sing featured solos at church services, but anyone who has spent years at a conservatory and who mingles in those circles, can tell that I am not the real deal. I still have rough spots in my singing technique (far fewer with each passing year, and I am 68 now), I am not 100% musically literate, my language pronunciation is not always perfect, and I often look awkward on stage (not very awkward; I am good at connecting with audiences, but I am unsure how to enter and exit, bow, and keep my arms still if I think doing this or that will help my singing).
The author wrote "Especially when it comes to physical pursuits, but also with many other endeavors, most of us will be truly excellent only at whatever we started doing in our teens." Which is what I have been saying all along.
What is so sad, is that, with performing arts at least (I think sports are different, maybe) there is no place for people like me. There are all sorts of choruses, but no performance groups that are simply for older avocational performers who may need a little polishing. Or if there were one, it would, like all the "amateur" opera groups, be overrun with out of work professionals and young people looking to get a leg up. So what I'm saying is there are not performance groups for people like me that have a way of keeping certain types of people out.
And then there's the vitriol. Which is one reason I have stopped participating in singer discussion groups. I find my blood pressure is a lot lower if I stick to groups that talk about pets, British tv, and literature. If I want to know about singing I can talk to my voice teacher, my choir directors, or my accompanists. Until I made contact with these groups I had no idea that by referring to myself as an "opera singer" (well yes, that's what I've trained to sing and that is the kind of music I do sing even if it's just in a nursing home) I was besmirching an art form, leading the public astray, and doing damage to OPERA as a cause to be promoted. I actually find that hard to believe. If anything could turn people off opera as an art form it's the mud-slinging these people get involved in, with each other and at people they deem "their inferiors".
To the second part of this post, it seems that it doesn't link up with the horrors of this week, but in a way it does. I read an article in the Times a few days ago that spoke of the world that Kavanaugh and Blasey Ford grew up in: unrealistically high expectations, high achievement, and escaping from the pressure with drunken debauchery.
Some of that was familiar territory to me, some not. My father was a professor and most of my parent's friends were doctors, academics, and school principals. Their sons were expected to be doctors. Their daughters were expected to be what I call "Jane Austen" girls. Do well in school, be smart, but not smarter than the boys, and stick to the arts: literature, painting, playing a musical instrument, singing a little, taking some ballet classes. Get into a good college so that you can meet the right kind of husband. My generation rebelled, but differently. First and foremost we rebelled by rejecting achievement. Turn on, tune in, and drop out. And for many of us, we stayed "dropped out" long after we discontinued drug or alcohol abuse.
The parties described by Blasey Ford and others, though, are quite different from the ones I attended (and I was a little older). Yes, alcohol flowed freely, drugs were readily available, and there was lots of meaningless casual sex, but nothing was ever violent. Was that because we were the "free love" generation? The men who were there were ones who had found a way to avoid going to Vietnam, who hated war, who, yes, wanted lots of women to be available and didn't want to be tied down, but I don't remember anyone forcing himself on me or anyone else. We were all in it together. Looking back I would call it "quasi-consensual" sex. Things I and other women wouldn't have done it we'd been sober, but I don't remember anyone assaulting or pursuing me if I said "NO", which of course I was more likely to do if I was sober. Love was free then.
Not long after that I became a Lesbian Separatist and we encouraged each other to observe the "Pence rule" if we had to venture beyond the bounds of our sect (mainly this meant at work). Don't consume alcohol at mixed parties (many of us were twelve steppers anyhow). Don't go for a meal alone with a man. Dress modestly. If you work in an office with straight men and it's too conservative for pants suits, make sure your skirt comes below your knees. Don't smile excessively. Be businesslike and matter of fact. Apparently that (and the fact that I worked in an industry that was predominately female) stood me in good stead.
If I am bitter about anything from those days, it is not that I got myself into sleazy situations when I had had too much to drink (or more) but all the waste. Time and energy I could have spent on my talent. Yes, "Especially when it comes to physical pursuits, but also with many other endeavors, most of us will be truly excellent only at whatever we started doing in our teens." Those people must have been around in 1968 or in 1971. Why didn't I take my cue from them?
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