2018 Wrap Up

I haven't done one of these for a while.  This was an old meme that circulated in my previous blogging community, which I have returned to in a limited way to be part of their writing contest.

A friend posted this, so I thought it would be a good exercise to do one of my own.  I didn't want to put it on Facebook (too many viewers) and didn't want to post it in the other blogging community because I want people who go to my page there to see my entry for the writing contest.  So it's here.

1. What did you do in 2018 that you had never done before? Start seriously writing a memoir.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and did you make some for this year? I didn’t really make any. If I did informally, they will be the same for this year: work as hard as I can on my singing and writing, love my partner while she’s still here on earth, try to be more open to social interactions.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? One of the pastors at church did.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Blessedly no one. I am of the age when people I know just die, and it’s not unusual.
5. What countries did you visit? None. I haven’t been out of the country since 2004.
6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018? Invitations, invitations, invitations!! To sing (most of the time if I want to sing I have to make the initial ask), to do something wonderful on my next birthday that I don’t have to plan or pay for, to go on a special, magical outing that is not too expensive and that won’t take me too far away from my partner (and that takes place during the daylight).
7. What date from 2018 will be etched upon your memory and why? Good Friday where I was the (only) featured soloist. This is something I waited 10 years for.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Singing five recitals and doing a really good job with all of them.
9. What was your biggest failure? Standing up in church on December 30 to sing a piece with a high A in it, which I had sung beautifully and easily at the rehearsal, and being unable to make a creditable sound up there; I sounded like a cat whose tail had been stepped on. (I may have had a cold-induced asthma attack beforehand; I’m not sure.)
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing serious. Just chronic arthritis and respiratory issues.
11. What was the best thing you bought? I treated myself to having my dining room painted.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? All the wonderful aides who take care of my partner, certainly the three who go above and beyond my wildest dreams, including one who gave me several expensive Christmas presents.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Duh!! The orange monster who committed treason to get into the White House and his disgusting band of congressional sycophants.
14. Where did most of your money go? Voice lessons, dentist.
15. What did you get really, really excited about? Singing and writing.
16. What song will always remind you of 2018? “Tanti affetti” from La Donna del Lago. It has seven high B flats in it and I aced it in three recitals.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you
Happier or sadder? Happier. I have chosen to spend more time with good ordinary people and less time with professional musicians and successful Upper West Side professionals.
Thinner or fatter? About the same, but my body is changing so much (bigger waist – actually good for singing - smaller hips, skirts are too tight, low rise jeans are too big, and everything is too long; had to get rid of a lot of clothes).
Richer or poorer? Certainly poorer as of December when my 401ks took a hit.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Socializing.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Mindlessly surfing the net in ways that I know will make me feel bad.
20. How did you spend Christmas? With my partner, in her bed, watching a marathon of Granchester.
21. Did you fall in love in 2018? Not in the romantic sense. I realized that I really really love some of the aides who take care of my partner. I don’t love easily. (I don’t think I’ve ever had a platonic female friend that I loved for example, which I guess is odd.)
22. Did your heart break in 2018? My heart breaks a little every day for my partner as she nears the end of life. Whenever I remember the “never agains” (traveling with her, going to the theater or the ballet with her, going to a museum with her, sitting up and eating at a table in a restaurant with her). But this is all counterbalanced by my gratitude that she is alive.
23. What was your favorite TV program? As always, Masterpiece Mystery and Masterpiece Classic.
24. Where were you when 2018 began? In bed with my partner, probably asleep.
25. Where were you when 2018 ended? See above; except that I woke up at 10:30 after a one hour nap and did get to watch the ball drop at Times Square, courtesy of Channel One.
26. Who will you be with when 2019 ends? I hope with my partner. I hope she is still alive.
27. What was the best book you read? I read so much I can’t choose, but The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters comes to mind.
28. What was your greatest musical discovery? Art songs and spirituals by Florence Price. Also her symphonic music.
29. What did you want and get? Another year with my partner.
30. What did you want and not get? Someone I would feel ok about listing as an “emergency contact” on a form (other than a doctor, a lawyer, or a therapist). A real birthday celebration planned by someone else. (These things are definitely related.)
31. What was your favorite film of the year? Maybe the cartoon film “Coco”? I watch a lot of films on Movies on Demand and lose track of which ones are from what year.
32. How many different states did you travel to in 2018? None. I haven’t been out of NY City since 2014 and prior to that I had not been out of NY City since 2009. My next trip will be to Ogunquit to scatter my partner’s ashes, so I can’t really say I am looking forward to my next trip. I hope maybe to take a day trip next year to Philly to see the art museums with some friends. We had talked about it this year but it didn’t materialize.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018? Casual most of the time, but I always wear something dressier to go to church even though I’ll usually have a choir robe on. I get dressed up to sing. I have given away almost everything that is snug around the waist. However if I am going anywhere I always wear stagey makeup and have my hair set.
34. What kept you sane? The fact that my partner is on Medicaid and they provide 24 hour care.
35. What celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? My mind never goes in that direction. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? Well, this is about my head, not my heart. I think we have to clean up elections in all the states that are practicing voter obstruction first, then work to elect candidates who will enact a progressive agenda.
37. How many concerts did you see in 2018? Maybe 4 or 5? Chamber music at the church, a concert at Juilliard given by my choir director’s piano students (he teaches there), Jupiter symphony. (All free or $10).
38. Who was the best new person you met? A little boy in my after school program who makes me laugh.
39. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? Probably losing my temper at someone. I do do this less, thankfully.
40. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2018? See item 9.
41. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018? The lesson I learned in 2017 was reinforced: that I probably can never “do well” so I have to be content with “doing good”. Also, that there are all kinds of joyful, esteemable, worthy ways to make a life that don’t involve being a high-level professional (in music, theater, or anything else) and that I need to meet more people who are living that way and spend less time with the uber-class (who continue metastasizing all over my zip code, in particular), who just end up making me hate myself.
42. What are your plans for 2019? To keep singing, focusing on my niche of bringing joy to the elderly, to continue with my memoir and other writing, to work hard to appreciate the things I have and to love and cherish my partner as long as God grants that I can have her. Also to keep trying to meet people and make new friendships.