The title of this post was inspired by this post . Something I seem to struggle with over and over, is the fact that I seem to be invisible most of the time.
Is it my age? I am 62 but I don't look 62. (One of my sources of discontent is how few pictures I have of myself; if I had one that was that different or better than the one I use for a profile picture I would post it.) I am certainly not skinny (I have a BMI of 25, which is teetering on the borderline of being overweight) but I am extremely fit and mostly carry my weight in the right places. I have a gorgeous hair dye job and wear stage makeup all the time. I never look ordinary, I can tell you that. And because I have so few "special occasions" in my life, I do myself up as if every single day were one. I have been approached at least once with an offer to be an "adult" film star. Apparently women my age who look like me are a huge niche market (and yes, the more I feel ignored, the more I will "up the ante" regarding the kinds of things I write about here).
Or is it that I work in an industry that is almost entirely virtual, where no one knows what I look like? And when I did work somewhere where I was physically present, despite having a high level job, I was treated like a "function" not a person, let alone an attractive woman with a great fashion sense. I know sexual harassment in its most virulent forms is Hell, but a little wholesome teasing to make an attractive woman feel appreciated would be nice once in while. But (sigh) the pendulum has really really swung so far in the other direction you can't even see that there is a pendulum.
Lately I just have had too many experiences of being "aggressively ignored" and yes, just like "deafening silence" it is very obvious when someone is being aggressively ignored.
In fact the lady who wrote the above referenced post also wrote and published an article (I can't remember about what) in which it was advised that professional singers should politely ignore hangers on who are not really good singers, and not "engage" with them in conversations about singing. If you want to be polite, she advised, you can engage with them on another topic of mutual interest. What is the problem here? Is "amateurishness" contagious, the way some people think homosexuality (or overweight) might be?
But oh, doesn't she know that this is oh so obvious to the "ignoree"? It's like waiting for the taxi that stops for other people, but not for you. This can't be an accident.
So what does it take to be noticed? Choosing the right venue? The right social circle, virtual or otherwise? Moving to a part of the country where what you do, even in a less than stellar manner, is in short supply and you can be special? (This latter is not likely. I have a sweetheart deal where I live and anyhow I never learned to drive.)
Why does one person attract notice when others do not? I am not talking here about trying to compete with singers at the Met, or even with singers at all, but about the synergy that occurred with Julie and Julia, which I have written about many times.
Why did someone decide that Julie's blog about Julia Child's recipes deserved a magazine article? All kinds of people write all kind of blogs about all kinds of things. I will never sing at the Met, but, for example, why shouldn't someone from Opera News or Classical Singer decide that my writing about the experience of trying to do something with classical singing in my late 50s and 60s is worth a little public exposure?
What do I need to do??
There are days when (I can hear someone saying "be careful what you pray for you may get it") what I long for is to be chased up and down Columbus Avenue by a herd of paparazzi. I want a public life so badly.
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