Suddenly Spanish?

Last night I sang at the Hispanic Heritage Month get together held by the woman who produced the September 11 concert.

It turned out there were only two other people there: one singer (female) and one actor (male).

I have mostly good things to report. First of all, I can see that I have a real affinity for Spanish classical song.  The organizer (who is of Spanish descent and is a specialist in this repertoire) gave me a book of classical Spanish songs to look at (which contains a song by Manuel Garcia, which was the song that inspired Bizet's "Habanera".)

Most of these songs sit in an upper middle register, which is where my voice is strongest, have a lot of melismatic passages (something I sing well), pretty much no sustained high notes, and nothing below middle C.  So they are tailor made for my strengths and avoid my weaknesses.

The organizer also gave me the name of a book to read, called Spain: The Root and the Flower.

So I ordered both of these items.

What heartens me, is that (albeit in a limited repertoire) I find myself getting the kind of mentoring from this woman that I so desperate yearn for and never got from anyone except The Mentor, who of course ended up being toxic.  She seems to be eager to teach me all sorts of things related to the music I am singing.

The other woman there was a mezzo, a "real" singer, aka someone who sings with these no pay groups, who has an impressive CV filled with apprenticeships, prizes, and plum high profile assignments (even if not for pay) as well as some paid singing.  She is of Hispanic descent and teaches Spanish and Portuguese.  She is certainly very knowledgeable about Spanish and Latin American music, and has a huge voice that can easily sing the music I so long(ed) to sing with a wide range, and a huge sound with much head resonance (although a lot of darkness as well).  She is going to be singing Carmen with one of these pay to sing readthrough groups, having sung Mercedes with another one of these groups (she knows my teacher), easily sailing up to the high C.  So if she is who is paying to sing at these readthroughs, they will never be interested in me.

Maybe I don't have such a big voice after all.  It is certainly loud and it can certainly carry over an orchestra, at least from the middle of the staff up.  (And - shoutout to the choir director - even my lower register could carry well enough above the small chamber orchestra we use for Reformation Sunday in that alto solo that now isn't.)  But it doesn't have a large aureole (this is not a technical term, I know, but I am clear what I mean about it).  It has taken me years to get even the tiniest bit of head resonance and that still is not a lot.  If it is not my past smoking, or my being from New York and spending a lifetime speaking in chest voice, what is it?  My blocked sinuses?  My narrow head and narrow nose?

I mean I do have a "voice" and I will never ever ever give up singing until I die or develop a disability that prevents it, but maybe I will never have the range or the stamina for opera?  I just don't know.  I love it so, but recently I have tried to "unpack" my passionate obsession with singing opera to see exactly what it is that I am so passionate about.  I have a dramatic personality and love the spotlight, which is why singing church music only satisfies me somewhat.  It is beautiful music, but no matter how well I sing it, in that setting other things are always paramount.  Maybe Spanish songs will be the next big thing?  I can dress up and be sexy and sing for audiences and convey drama without overtaxing myself vocally.

The best news of all is that the concert organizer told me that I had "the makings of a fine Spanish music singer".  I am looking forward to her Spring concert.  Probably this other woman won't be interested in it, and even if she is, I am sure there will be room enough for both of us.