A Heartfelt and Unexpected Compliment

I am really beginning to think that maybe things have turned a corner.

Over the past few years I have been deeply discouraged, first by realizing that no matter how well I sing, I will never be good enough to be cast by other people in a leading role in one of the no pay opera groups around here.  That was a huge blow.

Second, I have not liked the feeling of being pushed into the background by the presence of (as distinct from being pushed into the background by) these young conservatory graduates and students who have taken the choir by storm.

My spirits began to be lifted by the Spanish woman who seems to have taken an interest in me.  As a contrast, I don't really think my teacher is "interested in me" in that sense.  He is interested in seeing that I sing as well as possible, and he is happy that I seem to be able to create opportunities for myself to sing in front of audiences, and if I ask him for advice he will give it, but if he needs a mezzo to do something, for example, he can always find someone better.


As I wrote a few days ago, I am really really excited not only that this woman is letting me do this Carmen concert, but that she, to some extent, want to take joint ownership of it.


As for the title of this post, I got an email from one of the women in the choir, another mezzo, who had had a minor career singing opera and choir gigs, who claims to have lost her upper register when she got into her 60s, and who now sings alto in the choir.  She has always been very supportive of me, which I need to remember, as she is a conservatory graduate, and unlike the man who hurt my feelings, she seems to take me seriously.


She is also on the stewardship committee, so I'm sure a subtext of the lovely email she sent me is that she wants me to remember to donate some money to the church (which I have done for the past few years despite not being a baptised Christian; I do it because I care about their social outreach programs), but nonetheless she did write the following things, and I'm sure she meant them.


In the spirit of our theme, "delighting in God's gifts", I'm enjoying thinking about ways you give of yourself to [the church] and, thereby, to all of us.  Of course, your singing in the chorale leaps to my mind first, and your beautiful solos during services.  But then there are also the concerts on and off [the church] premises so many of us have enjoyed, and the benefit performances of the kind of music only serious singers, like you and your colleagues, can do.  I know you have volunteered in other ways too (like helping [an elderly man in the congregation]), and your very presence is enlivening.  .  So for this and much more I'm sure I've forgotten for the moment (or don't even know about), a very big thank you

So it's really really nice to know that someone notices that I'm there, even when I think they don't.