Countdown

My concert is on October 1, and it's now September 5, so the official countdown begins.

I am in contact with the woman who runs the studio where I'm performing, and with the pianist, and we have some tentative rehearsal dates. Then I will get flyers and programs made up. I think my teacher's wife can do that. And spread the word! Other than my angst over that B flat (I think I really do have a handle on what to do now) I am very pleased with how I sound singing this rep. I just need to polish the recits and continue to drill the words to the Trovatore scene. (I know the Aida scenes by heart.)

I also have to reacquaint myself with "Florina", aka the chorus part for the Traviata drinking song which we will do either as an encore or a closing number. Back in my earlier incarnation as a mostly trouser role mezzo, I did numerous of performances of "Florina". For those who don't know, it's an amalgam of Violetta's friend Flora, who is in Acts 1 and 3, and her maid Annina, who is in Acts 2 and 4. The same person can play both roles as they're never on stage together.

My partner has stopped making snide remarks about how I'm wasting time and money - now she's telling me how boring that Trovatore scene is (I got her to listen to the performance on tv) and that no one will want to sit through it because it's not "something people know". I tried to explain that people who like opera all know that scene, but to no avail. So I told her just to put a sock in it and not to undermine me, especially as I've been working very hard on it.

But I just can't dwell on any of that. I am excited about the concert and want to give it my all (the woman running the concert venue, who is a mezzo herself, said she is "dying to hear me" and I am eager to make her a friend/mentor) and then it's on to the CD, and trying to organize the pocket Verdi Requiem. I mentioned the latter to the choir director when we were rehearsing the Bach (which I sang twice yesterday) and he said he thought I would have to "rent" the space but that I should check with the pastor. I am hoping that because it's a piece of sacred music that I want to produce during Lent, that she will be happy just to collect the ticket money. I know she likes my singing.

In other news, the Bach went really well yesterday. I sing Bach very well. I don't give myself enough credit for this, because I guess I feel, well, as none of these pieces goes above an E, so what? But then I have to remember that he is one of the two or three greatest composers who ever lived and that having an affinity for singing this type of music (not to mention the breath control and ability to sing clean ornamenetation) is a major talent and something I should foster. I don't know how many more years I can sing Verdi (and my extreme upper register will never be competitive) but I can probably sing Bach well into my 80s. The choir director seemed genuinely impressed.

Sad News and a Day Off

Yesterday, during a routine vet visit, my beloved 13 year old cat Branwell Bronte, died (apparently of a heart attack).

I am still in shock and very sad. I had gotten Branwell from a shelter as company for my tiny Siamese Charlotte Bronte.

As years went by he did not get along with my tiny miniature wire dachshund Chester

and finally they had a showdown in which Chester was the loser and had to have stitches.

So I sent Chester to live with my partner. They bonded together like glue, and I know one of the reasons she is dragging her feet about moving into assisted living is that she wouldn't want to take Chester with her (you are allowed to have a pet there - a cat or small dog - but Chester is old and cranky and might bite someone). Now the coast is clear - Chester and Charlotte love each other and so I could bring him home, and get my partner her own cat once she settles in.

Yesterday I was sad and in shock, but as I have no paid leave, I had to get back to my laptop and back to work.

I did however, take the day off from singing. To sing properly requires buoyant energy and I didn't have any.

I must sing today, though, so I can continue to overcome my terror of the B flat in "Condotta", polish the recits, and also work on a solo from a Bach cantata that I am singing in church on September 4.

It's funny, opera is my challege, because no matter how much I love it, and no matter how ideally my temperament and voice type are suited to it, I know that my extreme upper register, and my stamina, are both iffy. (Great if all the stars are in alignment, if not, not.)

But Bach is my joy. Pure joy. No high notes to scare me, and lots of runs, trills, and ornaments, which, for me, for some reason, come so easily and naturally, that I just enjoy myself. I never run out of breath, apparently, and can sing every note without fudging.

I was reading an article about Anna Netrebko in which she is quoted as saying that she sings Mozart and Handel to massage her voice after singing too much Puccini. I suppose I do the same thing with Bach, although I never would have thought of it that way. Maybe that's why my voice sounds young and fresh, even at 61 (if I stay away from the extreme top and bottom) and stays agile. And like all choir singers, I have always had perfect intonation.

Today I plan to work until about 4 or 4:30, then practice, and then settle down, score in hand, and listen to the greatest singer in my fach, Dolora Zajick sing Azucena. I hope I can learn something. I saw her in the role live, but there's nothing like being so close I can watch her breathe.

A Kick in the Pants

I woke up this morning, rather embarrassed about having done a status update on Facebook that I needed a kick in the pants to get my "diva self" going again, and was going to delete it, but when I saw that the esteemed Susan Eichhorn-Young "liked" it, I decided to leave it and really try to address the problem.

Ever since the following things happened I have lost the will and energy to put myself out there (I have not lost the will and energy to sing every day or learn new music):

1.I was trashed for mysterious reasons by the Carmelites director in a setting where almost all the singers were half my age.

2.The new hotshot coloratura showed up at choir and has been given one flashy descant after another to sing in various anthems (the solo spots are still pretty much evenly distributed).

3.My mother died.

4.I have been seriously worried about whether or not I can make enough money freelancing and hence have been doing all I can to focus my organizing skills on time management.

What kept me going for so long, certainly through the planning stages of my concert version of Samson et Dalila was anger, mostly at The Mentor Who Shall Not Be Discussed, but also at the other people from the Unitarian Church where I had been "discovered", who had so raised my hopes up, made me feel special, and then dropped me like a hot potato. I was going to prove that yes, I could do something, even something small, and yes I really was a diva, not just someone you could stick in the back of an untrained choir singing bloody "Imagine"!!! But back then I had my mother, whom I rarely miss, and who was hardly supportive of me most of the time, but who stood with me if I wanted to go out and sing and leave my (mostly ex) partner to scream her head off. But now my partner is frail and unable to care for herself, our little dog



is probably going to leave us soon, and I'm worried about my financial security.

None of this stops me from singing, but it does seem to stop me from taking myself seriously enough to make plans, other than asking the choir director about solos (speaking of which the brouhaha about my being asked to sing for the Tiffany dedication continues and I'm not sure where I stand there).

So OK, what's on the table:

1. I have given the violinist at the church five Bach solo arias to look at and I will soon have "Ich Habe Genug" to give him. So if he will be my champion, maybe we can get a spot on the church concert roster that I don't have to pay for (I was told if I wanted to produce another opera I would have to pay them to use the space.)

2. Maybe I can revive my teacher's interest in a concert. If we have to sing at the nursing home, maybe that's ok. I heard him sing in a concert at the Bruno Walter Auditorium at the Lincoln Center Library and the audience was just one step away from what one would find at the home. He sounded fabulous so maybe he would like to showcase some Verdi?

3. Try to find out how I can get an event into the Bruno Walter, so that I can revisit the idea of my pocket version of Carmen.

4. Bring "Condotta" to one of those coaching classes. I'm supposed to do the Aida/Amneris duet but haven't heard back from the soprano.

It would help if I got a few rah rahs here, but I noticed no one has commented here since before the New Year!

Happy?

This past week I've felt "happy" about singing in a way I haven't for several months.

First of all I'm getting to sing "Schlafe Mein Liebster" at the 9 am service a week from Sunday. (I would prefer singing during communion at 11 because getting up at 6 is hard, especially as I work at home and rarely get up that early any more) but getting to sing it at all is a privilege. The choir director made some unusual cuts in it so I can get to sing part of the "B" section and then go back and sing some of the "A" section as well.

And he heartily approved my plan to work with the violinist.

In one of my earlier posts I referred to wanting a "gimmick" that would set me apart from the herd. Well, I would hardly call Bach a "gimmick"!! but it's a niche. Bach wrote tons of arias for alto and soprano 2, most of which don't go above an E (but don't go too far below the staff either) but which require excellent breath control, agility, and a trill, all of which I have. This field is not as crowded, say, as the Amneris field and it's a repertoire I can continue to sing indefinitely as it's mostly performed in concert and, leaving vocal issues aside, the fact that babelicious as I look, it's obvious that I have a very hard time with stairs, running, or high heels, is a strike against me in costume opera.

My teacher agrees with me that this is a good thing for me to focus on, as it's a repertoire I enjoy singing and it's less nerve-wracking than trying to sing phrases up to a B flat in numbers requiring a lot of stamina. I told him I was worried that I would lose my upper register if I don't use it and he said first of all, I should continue my vocal exercises that go up to a high C (he agrees I shouldn't sing above a B flat in public) and keep working now and again on my arias and other opera scenes so if there's an opportunity I can pull one out and showcase it in a concert. (And who knows about that Carmen? If the tenor is serious he can find me a venue. )

Hope Springs Eternal

Determined to do something musical this year, and finding opera to be a dead-end street at this point, I am looking to another genre that I sing really well that doesn't overtax my range or stamina - Bach, i.e. the pieces written for sop 2 or alto.

Another great thing about Bach is that I can sing a number of these with instrumental accompaniment.

At the church where I sing there's an elderly violinist who is retired from the New York City Opera orchestra. My partner pointed out that I must have something to offer, as he has accompanied me when I've done various solos, including the "Laudamus te" from the Bach B Minor Mass.

So this morning I approached him about doing some concert numbers together, perhaps in the new small venue I discovered on a side street in "Curry Hill" (I don't want to name it unless I get a gig there) that features string players.

He said it sounded great, and that I should start giving hiim 6-12 pieces and that we should start rehearsing them together.

So, so far I have the Laudamus te, "Erbarme Dich" from the St. Matthew Passion, and "Schliesse, mein Herze" from the Christmas Oratorio. Even though some of these are seasonal, my violinist thinks they would be perfectly acceptable as concert numbers. And, thanks to my owning a CD of Angelika Kirchschlager singing Bach arias, I am going to look into "Nichts Kann mich Erretten" from Cantata 74 and "Widerstehe doch der Sunde" from Cantata 54, both of which have violin accompaniments. And then google to find a few more.

I think I need to make a commitment to do one thing each day to get this rolling, which shouldn't be hard.