Winding Up with The Artist's Way

As usual, I should be working, not blogging, but this is my "lunch hour" and I felt a blog post coming on...

I am now on Chapter 12, the last chapter, of The Artist's Way. One thing they suggest is that before you bid the workbook au revoir, you reread it. So I am doing that. It is sometimes hard to tear myself away from my latest mystery novel, but I exercise discipline.

I notice that I enjoy life more since beginning this journey.  I don't know that I am on my way to being more "successful" either as a singer or in a new career path that would use my "diva" soul, but I find pleasure in small things.  After all, the book is called The Artist's Way, not The Artist's Career, How to Succeed in the Arts, or How to Excel in the Art Form of Your Choice.  It is about a way of life.  I think the Mentor had that way of life, and that I picked up quite a bit of it through my painfully yearning to emulate him.  In fact, many of the things the book suggests that you do I already did when I was making that painful transition toward art and sensuality: I got rid of a ton of clothing that was too big (not because I had lost weight but because I had dumped the "pc dyke" persona that mandates that you do not show your curves and if you must wear a dress it should be baggy and long or corporate and swimming on you) and a ton of pastel bedding and replaced both with things that signaled Dalila not Miss Marple.

What's interesting is that I find myself feeling more loving toward my partner.  It was her "artist's soul" that attracted her to me in the first place.  If she had $25, she would buy a ticket to an avante garde dance concert and live on saltines.  The place was always a mess but there would be some marvelous colorful object or swath of red somewhere.  I think we both held each other back.  She didn't like my singing opera, I didn't like her avante garde feminist filmmaking.  Interestingly, whatever I feel about her and however that has changed over the years, I pretty much believe that one on one monogamous relationships where the goal is domestic bliss stifle people, full stop.  People are better off "single" and then involving themselves in relationships, physical or otherwise, to varying degrees with people they care about and observing strict boundaries.  Which is why I have zero interest in same sex marriage.  I am more interested in whether or not we can have a single payer health system (marriage as a gateway to a spouse's health benefits is one reason people like being married).  I suppose if you have children you should stay together as a couple for the duration of the children's childhood (and probably be monogamous, too) but that's about 20 years.  Hardly a lifetime these days!

So how has this affected my singing?  I am still holding onto most of the gains with my upper register but unfortunately it has not translated into a surge of confidence.  I just have too much baggage.  Which is why young voice students (or beginners of any age) are told to stay away from the rep I've been singing for years, until their technique is secure.  As I said, I don't think I ever hurt my voice but I created a slew of very bad memories.

Well, I have retooled "Liber Scriptus" which only goes up to an A flat.  Maybe I will try something else next.

I read about an audition for Un Ballo in Maschera.  Ulrica is not a role I would have thought of for my voice (too much singing below middle C) but I will take a look at the score at my teacher's house.  He said he will see how he thinks I sound.  To go to that audition I will need to give them a list of five arias.  I wonder if I should swap out Laura for Cieca?  Cieca is a role I could sing because it does not go very low.  There is a lot of low-ish singing around middle C but that is easy for me.  It is certainly more age appropriate.  And I have always wanted to learn Gertrude's "J'ai Peur" from Hamlet.  I don't think it goes above an A or an A flat.  Maybe I should eventually swap that for Dalila although that would be hard.  That would leave Favorita as the only "young" role represented.  The Principessa in Adriana could be older.  Or maybe something from Dead Man Walking.

I ordered a set of Jake Heggie songs that are based on Sister Helen's poetry. I heard Joyce DiDonato sing one of them in a concert on tv. They are with flute accompaniment and might be suitable for church solos or something else. I am still enjoying the rehearsals from the September 11 concert. I feel more comfortable singing a non-operatic (but still classical) piece in a group of beginner singers of all ages than I did singing opera rep amidst young people with conservatory degrees and managed singers in their 40s. I think the people who showed up for this September concert are more like what I had expected at the opera singer meetups. People who were working on vocal technique who were not professionals, but had the voice and the passion to sing opera. So we will see how I progress after my work with the Artist's Way workbook is finished.  I joined an Artist's Way meetup and will see what comes of that.

And I made a long-range plan to take a short vacation for my partner's 80th birthday, which will be in 2014.  I haven't had a vacation since 2009, when I left my last full time job.  And this doesn't feel like a bone I'm throwing her to make up for all the time and money I spend on singing.  Not everyone gets to have an 80th birthday.

One the The Artist's Way stresses is to keep an open mind.  Maybe I will find a niche for myself singing song literature and sacred music, where I can use the solid technique I do have and let go of my love-hate relationship with big arias with high notes.  Although not quite yet...

And I may come back from tonight's rehearsals with some photos.  The director asked people with smart phone cameras (not me!) to bring them.  So I am going to be sure to wear something diva-ish and hot!