I should be working, but I wanted to check in with people to let them know that I am feeling much better.
First of all, just because someone is an articulate bully with a following, and a certain ethic, doesn't make that person less of a bully.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the "don't consider myself the equivalent of" thing. Are people so mistrustful of the world at large that they think people who know won't know that I'm not the "equivalent of"?? That must be why I can't get cast even in an opera produced by a company that does not pay people. And if people buying books at the Strand, or some residents in a nursing home, or some less musically educated parishioners at the church think I'm the "equivalent of", well, I guess I must have done a really good job of fooling them, so "go me!" as they say. I think it's a bit arrogant to tell people what they can and can't think about themselves. When it comes to politics, I am certainly not a "free market" person, but when it comes to entertainment, I will let the marketplace decide. No one is going to tell me what I can or can't think of myself as and no one is going to tell me that I can't take part in a conversation.
What I need to do, is stop trying to get the approval of people who are not generous-hearted.
Whew!
So OK. Last night was choir practice, and when I got home there was an email from the woman who produced the September concert mentioning something about an event for Hispanic Heritage Month and she ended it by saying "Keep working on your Spanish songs!" Just that tiny crumb, that some one wants me to sing something, work on something, now is keeping me going.
Tuesday when I was so depressed I had a voice lesson, and didn't sound good (I also hadn't used my Neti pot that morning and it seems that using it is essential to my vocal well being). As there is no specific piece of music with a date attached to it on my calendar, and as my teacher (who has permanently switched to singing baritone) is singing the High Priest in a concert version of Samson et Dalila, I went over "Amour Viens Aider". Of course I choked on that high B flat (despite now regularly singing arpeggios up to a high C) so he said why not just sing the G, which is what is written? So I did that a few times and then he said maybe try singing the E flat, then the G, then the B flat, which I might find easier than stretching from the E flat to the B flat. And it sounded great! I also fooled around with that dialogue at the end of the act with the dreaded high B flat on "Lache". I still wouldn't dare to try to sing it off the cuff, so I sang the E that Samson sings on the word "Dieu" and then slid up. The actual note (the B flat) sounded really good. If only I could have amnesia, sing as well as I do now, and pick up some of these things as if I'd never seen them before!
Also, I was interested to read this:
First, the larynx - the source of all vocal sound - is the last aspect of our human anatomy to fully mature. Until the late 20s or early 30s, its various components remain flexible and easy to manipulate. Later many of these components will harden into bone, and when that happens the voice becomes much less pliable and forgiving.
from a blog piece by Claudia Friedlander.
I wonder if this is why some of the kinetic aspects of singing are so hard, despite my having now studied for 9 years? Even when I started the first time, at 26 after 13 years of smoking, no doubt a lot of damage had been done. My teacher had mentioned that it's much harder for older people to make the proper pharyngeal space to sing. For example, I now do know what that feels like, but if I am singing, say, above a G, I have to think about it all the time. I can't seem to graduate, like the 20somethings I see in online master classes, from thinking about technique to thinking about presentation, unless I am singing in my core range from middle C up to that G sitting on the top of the staff.
Well, I will do a few more runthroughs of "Amour" and then it will be time for something else. I am waiting to hear back from the Spanish woman about what Spanish songs she thinks might be good for me to sing (all the ones I have music for are meant for Christmas or Epiphany), and then look at "Nun Wandre Maria" to see if I can sing it for Advent as a church solo.
Thanks for the mention! Allow me to clarify what I wrote and its implications for singers 30 and over.
ReplyDeleteOnce the laryngeal cartilages ossify, they consequently become less pliable. They also become more stable. That's a good thing for singers. It's the main reason why most need to wait until around that age to begin taking on heavier repertoire. If your technique is working well, the voice will respond with more power and stamina. There is also no reason why a singer could not begin their studies with a fully mature larynx and get good results.
The problem is that younger singers may be "getting away" with bad technique and not realize it. The relative pliability of the larynx means their voice may still respond even if they're pushing like crazy. Then their voices mature and their old strategies cease to work. It's very confusing when that happens.
On another note, I wanted to gently assure you that the voice teacher who you feel slighted you in a blog post was in fact not referring to you at all. Her comments on the forum were also not directed at you but rather a situation that you did nothing to create. You may disagree with her point of view on this, but it had everything to do with the situation and nothing to do with your participation.
Dear Claudia,
ReplyDeleteI am so flattered that you took the time to respond! Also, based on your last paragraph, I guess you have been a reader here, which I also find flattering. And I take your point. My goal now is to put all that to bed and continue with my work.
While I have your "ear", I have a question.
I have always wondered if the fact that I was a heavy smoker between the ages of 13 and 26 is the reason why I do not have the last three notes needed to be an operatic mezzo (the B flat, B natural and C; the first two can sound good in practice but are not reliable for singing in public and the C is the absolute end of the line even in vocalizing). I certainly have no health sequelae from smoking, but, particularly in view of your mention of the developing larynx, I wonder if the age I was when I was smoking blunted the extreme edges of my vocal cords (what - I think - you need to sing those notes). Some people have told me that since I smoked so long ago, that could not be possible, but I have always wondered. Every other aspect of my singing has continued to improve (other people tell me this) and even those notes have improved a teensy weensy bit, but not enough.
I do not have a physician's perspective, but I have personally never heard of a case where smoking actually impaired development of the vocal folds.
ReplyDeleteThere are a variety of things that can limit the upper range in even the healthiest of voices. Sometimes it does come down to the way your voice is built, but it's more likely that with continued practice, you will be able to develop the technical skill to access those notes.