A Dream Achieved

Yesterday was one of happiest and most fulfilling days I have had in a very long time; probably not since May 2008. And even that day was slightly marred by my knowing I was going to come back to a disaster in the office and that there would be no "afterglow". (And of course if I had had a decent recording of that performance and heard it now I would cringe.)

I was not happy with how I sang in My 2011 Verdi concert, mostly because of the air quality which didn't even allow me to sing my personal best for that time. I was happy with the Verdi Requiem after I sang, but less so when I heard the recording and heard how "small" my voice sounded compared to the other three singers (two of whom are working professionals and the third a woman whose singing could rival any professional's).

Finally by last year's Carmeneverything had come together vocally, for the most part, but I forgot to take my glasses off for some of the scenes, and I was bitterly disappointed at how few people showed up (as was the woman who helped me produce it), and the "buzz" was overshadowed by Little Miss's senior recital.

Actually yesterday was not the first time I had sung solo material with an orchestra, but the previous time all I sang was the alto line in one of the quartets in the Mozart Requiem which had been shortened considerably.

This time I got to really let it rip (first with two other singers, then with just the soprano) in the "Rex Tremendae" section of the Dvorak Requiem. So standing there, behind the orchestra, I felt like a real professional dramatic mezzo doing my thing.  And I got (totally unexpected and heartfelt) compliments from the choir director who was conducting.  It brought tears to my eyes.  This is what I have lived for all this past year.

I also sang at noon, the Rossini "Agnus Dei".  I sang it very very well, letting my big dramatic voice out on the climaxes even though they were only Es.

So now I have my May concert to work on and early next week I will write to my Don Jose and ask him what he thinks of my auditioning for the Mozart Requiem.  

If there's a lesson here, it's this.  All those years when I felt frustrated by how little progress I was making, I never dreamed that suddenly it would all be easier (not that everything is easy; all I have to do to humble myself is pick up that Amneris/Radames duet with the high B flats!!).  It is what I wanted  but I really didn't know if it would be possible.  So the lesson is that anything is possible, even for someone who will be 65 in a few months.  It's not over.  It's not a "given" that everything is going to be downhill from now on.  And people need to know this and not "assume".

In any event.  I thank God with all my heart for yesterday.