Milestones

Today would have been my mother's 99th birthday.  This is a photo of us at her 90th, the last big celebration that she had.

My mother always did birthdays in style: hers, mine, friends'.  She made much of celebrations of all kinds, including Thankgiving and Christmas, this latter even though she was an atheist.  And any occasion at all was an opportunity for a meal out.  When I was younger I rolled my eyes over this, thinking of how fat she was (by the time the photo above was taken she had lost a lot of weight).  This one (below) is a better indicator of our respective sizes, taken at Fiorello's some time after the millennium, either for her birthday or Mother's Day.

We didn't plan anything to celebrate.  Last week we went to the ballet.  I always think of my mother when I'm at the ballet, or looking at art.  

My friend L is now in a hospice in Columbus, Ohio.  I hear she is "out of it" most of the time.  Since 2007 I have lost my mother and three friends to death (I am not counting L here at this point), three to moving out of state, and two to an endless round of out of state commitments (including Clueless).  I have no idea how to replenish the well, other than by engaging in various activities while I'm not working, singing, or caring for my partner.  Last week I started working at an after school program at the church where I sing.  Maybe that will lift my spirits and be a source of human contact.  I actually do have a lot of "buddies" and people I can have a meal with from time to time but socializing is pretty far down their list of priorities behind family and work - or travel, which they all seem to do either for business, family, or pleasure.

On a more upbeat note, I finally made contact with the woman at the senior center where I want to put on my birthday concert.  Once that date is on my calendar I may be able to shake off the rage and misery I felt over this past birthday that never was.  I am not sure what it says about me (and I am willing to take the blame) that I passed such a big milestone with no one giving a flying fig except the Medicare office and the MTA.   So this date will be on my calendar.  The day (it won't be the exact day, but the Sunday before or after) will mean something.  It will be special even if none of my friends do a bloody thing.  When I wrote back to the woman in charge I told her that I was putting on the concert for my birthday but that that was not relevant as far as the audience there was concerned.  That is would be a mix of classical, musical theater, and "old favorites" from the Gay 90s and earlier, and was meant to be entertaining.  I also said I could tweak the repertoire if she thought that was necessary.  I know my teacher has sung in operatic concerts there, although not recently.

And last but not least, I will be good to go with the high soprano part in the Handel for Reformation Sunday. It really is not hard.  It isn't as high as the duet I sang from Anna Bolena.  We sang through the piece several times last night and I did not get tired or nervous, nor did I start singing "off the voice" to try to keep the volume down.  So the drill is: I can do chores for my partner tomorrow, but not much talking.  So I will promise myself not to get into an argument.  And Sunday morning I will keep stumm other than singing the anthem.  There will be a small orchestra there, so let's hope we don't overrehearse it.  And I will bring a protein bar.