This is a title I use frequently, but have not used this year so far. I guess it's just life.
I got the videos from the recital and thought everything sounded good except for the Handel (which I knew didn't sound good because I sang too fast and didn't take breaths that I should have taken).
But
I just hate how awkward I look. As the evening wore on, I looked less and less awkward, but that's because as the evening wore on, the pieces I sang became vocally easier and easier so I was able to relax and have fun. But I don't want to give up the difficult pieces that I sing well. Here's the problem. I fidget, look worried, do things with my arms to "aid" in vocal production (do these things really aid anything?) and worst of all, for whatever reason, I walked off the stage at the end of "Tanti Affetti" when the pianist had not yet finished playing, to get some water between songs. Getting water was OK; doing it without letting the pianist finish was not. It was like when I sang Carmen in costume and forgot to take my glasses off. What upsets me about this isn't that I don't like how I look; it's that I know these problems are the result of my never having had the right kind of "grooming". Over the past 14 years I have just about had the time to devote to refining my vocal technique and learning music. I have not been in any setting where I would be coached on how to walk on and off the stage, look at the audience, and look poised while I'm singing. This is the kind of thing that someone like "Little Miss" has had going for her since she was 10, and now I guess she's in her mid 20s.
The good news is that I had my first rehearsal with the new pianist today. I had gotten very little sleep because after looking at the videos last night around 10 pm I was upset and found it hard to stay asleep (I didn't have a problem falling asleep, but woke up several times, the last being at 5:50 am, after which I could not go back to sleep). Well, I can sleep tonight, I hope. Anyhow I really sang well, including "Tanti Affetti" so I guess I really own all those high notes and fancy gimmicks and can do them at will (the way I can sing "Rejoice Greatly", which sounds hard to other people). This pianist is more of a coach than my other pianist, who is predominatly an accompanist (I have never heard him tell me anything about style for example). This new pianist gave me a number of pointers, including about "Mon Coeur", which I have been singing for over a decade. These subtleties are very interesting and I hope to do them justice.
So now I just have to rest (we have choir rehearsal tomorrow, for which - I think - all I have to do is sing an alto part on a chorus from Elijah) for the next few days. I have a lesson on the 29th, last rehearsal on the 31st, and the concert on June 2. Then I will decide what to do next.
This new pianist aspires to be a conductor and has conducted operas with a small company in Brooklyn that has an orchestra. He asked me if I would want to sing in their opera chorus and I said no (politely). There is no pay involved and there would be a lot of rehearsal time. I would rather sing recitals of songs and arias in front of a small audience than be lost in a big opera chorus. I might do it if I were younger and could see it as a step toward singing a leading role, but now, no.
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