Saturday, August 28, 2010

Another Reason to Doubt Myself

I was feeling very optimistic about how good things were sounding. And I was pleasantly surprised when I looked at the Aida/Amneris duet to see that the two climactic high notes are A flats which means I can really enjoy myself singing and focus on the character.

But then today I got an email from the group that I sing with on occasional Tuesday evenings, mentioned here which was an invitation to a public concert by this group. So the question is, how does a person become a member of the group proper rather than just a hanger on? Why are some people chosen for these concerts? Do you get to audition for them? I know they produce operas and that these have open auditions. So maybe that's where the concert participants come from. I don't know.

So again, there's this feeling that I am a second class citizen. I'm too old, I don't have musical training, I don't have a history, I don't have a network. I think one reason I get so nervous getting up and singing at these things is because I have no one there for me. I'm not (as) nervous when I'm singing with my bass colleague or in something I produced myself, where people have come to hear me, etc. But I am just an outlier at these get togethers.

Although, well, there was that soprano who wanted to sing a duet with me.

I just really, really, really would have liked to be in that concert.

No comments:

Post a Comment