A Moment of Sadness

This needs be brief - I need to do one more runthrough of the Judgment Scene before Sunday.

I got an email today from the opera company that turned me down out of hand because I was too old (said they wanted singers with "future potential" whatever that means) and it made me sad. I mean it's one thing to decide I'm too old to play Erika in Vanessa. She is after all, the youngest in a three generation family. But to be too old to play La Zia Principessa in Suor Angelica?? She could easily be my age and in any event everyone says I look about 45. I mean who the bloody Hell knows who has future potential??? One of the 30somethings could have three kids and call it quits. In any event, these people still keep me on their email list, so I heard about their upcoming Trittico

I was happy to see that two singers I know got leads. My guess is they are each in their late 30s, with big operatic voices that they're not ashamed to steer in that direction.

But you see that's who I wish I were. Not Olga Borodina or Dolora Zajick, although that would be nice.

Just a woman in my late 30s or early 40s with "promise".

I mean what promise do I have now? Every day that I can sing scenes from Amneris (or even just vocalize up to a solid high B)is stolen time, I know that.

I had a good lesson yesterday. My teacher was being picky and he said that note (my first crack at the high A at the end of the Judgment Scene) would have been good enough for last lesson but not this one. So he made me do it over and over, at least five times. It gets easier and easier to sing those notes big and full. (It also helps, beloved choir director forgive me!!, not to be squeezing my voice to blend in with the choir for a while.)

So now it's the countdown. One more runthrough of the (second half of) the Judgment Scene, then tomorrow is a rest day (I am staying with my partner and our dog) and then Sunday I'm on.

I pray that there's no crisis that keeps me from the concert (with two ill elderly people and now an ill elderly dog as well, it's dicey). And please send good vibes that I do my very best.

As for "future potential"? Well, I have what I have, folks!!