Better

I thought several times about deleting my last post but decided to let it stand.  On the other hand, I felt it would be unfair to let that hang as my most recent post, which is the reason for this one.

I am feeling a little better than yesterday.

I think I have to give some credence to the fact that yes, I do have a very depressing life, and it takes its toll.  I have many blessings, things that many people don't have: a nice apartment in a nice neighborhood for very little rent, good health, people who love me, people who like me, good looks (people are always asking me if I'm an actress, which is nice), talents.

On the other hand it is very wearing to spend all day editing medical manuscripts and then have to be constantly dealing with the problems of someone elderly, ill, and often disagreeable.

Most people I know who are my age have a lot more fun than I do and it isn't because they're more imaginative and more optimistic people.  It's because they either have another breadwinner (helpmeet) in their life or they have no one and can do what they please, they do something for a living that fulfills at least some of their spiritual needs, they see, hear, smell, taste, and experience a much broader range of things than I can right now.

But I am going to have my Requiem.  I am going to do what I can to neutralize my fear about that note in "Liber Scriptus" (it is a bear of a note: you have no set up time) and otherwise I am going to enjoy myself.  This is a huge opportunity even if it is one I organized myself.

And I am going to sing "Qui Sedes" in the Spanish Good Friday service and sing an art song called "Asturiana" by de Falla on "El Salvador Sunday".

I will live to strut my stuff another day.