I really would like to put this to bed and move on.
I had a wonderful time singing and "performing", and I got a lot of positive feedback. I want it to be an event in my life that I can look back on with pleasure (believe me, my life is dull enough that I need these) not another source of unhappiness and discord.
I want to say here, for the record, I am not at all averse to constructive criticism. If the voice teacher/coach I referred to earlier had, for example, written to me privately and given me some pointers on what worked and didn't work in that video, I would not have been offended. That's what teachers and coaches do.
What I didn't appreciate was the implication that I should not have made the video at all. Or that I shouldn't be singing at all but should find something else to do. I considered that a stab in the back.
I also (I know I'm repeating myself here) don't understand the malice people have toward their "inferiors": people who don't do something as well as they do who nonetheless have found venues for doing it. I could understand someone being angry if they thought they sang/acted better than I do and they were turned down for that spot and it was given to me instead. But if they did not want to sing in a bookstore for free, why couldn't they just leave me alone to have a good time and go about their merry, fulfilling lives? Why did they have to spoil it?
I took that woman off my Facebook friends list because I just don't need endless negativity (I will say I am sure she is fiercely loyal to her students, but anyone else, performer or not, is fair game.) I would rather read posts from my friends from church about the good works they are doing, and how they make a supportive ring around their friends who want to use their talents, however big or small, to give themselves and other people pleasure.
It is not "all about me". Maybe the fact that I got up and sang the "Habanera" in a bookstore in a costume in a pair of shoes that I am too old and frail to dare to wear on the street will inspire someone over 50 who wants to do something bold and put themselves out there.
I also want to clarify about the subtitle of my blog, lest someone think I'm a shallow twit who is only interested in fame; secretly yearning to be a Kardashian.
What I was referring to is something like this. I am sure I sing at least as well as this woman plays the cello and I am sure my story is as interesting as hers. So why shouldn't I try to get it out there?
Hey!! Maybe all this brouhaha about the video is it! Maybe this is my 15 minutes! It has certainly gotten a lot of views considering I'm a nobody.
Hi there. I have studied with the teacher you reference for three years, and I wanted to share that she never, ever calls out individual artists on her blog. Ever. She writes about general trends she's noticed. Last week there was a YouTube on my FB feed over and over (I have a lot of singer friends) of this blonde girl with fake boobs wearing only her bra singing an extremely off-key "O del mio dolce ardor." She sees stuff like that, and she says, okay, this is not the best way to present yourself. There have been times when I've wanted to take her criticism personally, mostly about my crappy attitude or bad technique (things of the past at this point, I hope) but then I remember she teaches hundreds of students and works with hundreds of professional singers, and so she's noticing common things that trip people up. She would never, EVER tell anyone to stop singing, studying, performing, and following their path. One thing she does better than anyone else I know is help people to reveal what their path IS. She writes those blogs to make people think hard about their goals and dreams, not to belittle anyone. I can personally attest to the fact that I am in a very happy place artistically and personally because of her. I would encourage you to think of her blog as she intends it... some guidance from someone who has been there, fought her own battles, and wants to help people find their best selves. I'm also a private voice teacher of young people and I try to do exactly the same for them. So please don't think of her as someone who sends bad energy into the universe. She is someone who wakes up every day with the goal of doing the opposite of that. Namaste. :)
ReplyDeleteDear Type A,
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this. Now I just feel terribly sad. I always had enormous respect for the person in question and in fact when I had a "pay what you can" coaching with her several years ago she was very nice and helpful. She at some point really got cold to me (I felt) when we would communicate on Facebook. I have no idea why. The reason I never went back for a coaching is that I already have a voice teacher whom I feel loyal to, but if I had not had a teacher, she is certainly someone I would have considered. Maybe it was not about me. There were just too many things that "fit": having posted a video the day before, the fact that I was referred to as an "opera singer" (that was the publicist who did that, not me: I usually think of myself as a "classically trained singer" because I mostly sing church solos). I have often wondered myself what my path was. If I had continued to study beyond the age of 30 (although even when I sang as a young person, starting at 26 was "late") I might have been able to sing opera, certainly leading roles in the community opera groups here (I live around the corner from Lincoln Center)but I didn't sing for several decades and then started again at 54 when it really was too late for me do anything other than sing church solos unless I produced whatever it was myself, which is ok. It's funny that people see me as having a big ego, because I certainly do not. I am an extroverted flamboyant person by nature, who is trapped in the house, semi-retired, working at my laptop editing and taking care of my ex partner who is elderly and frail and often very disagreeable. So I have few outlets for this. I really really really had a good time singing the Habanera in that bookstore, and if there were things that were not as good as they could have been in that video I did not have a dress rehearsal; only one singthrough beforehand in the space (although I had been rehearsing with the prerecorded sound at home for several weeks). I suppose I should be pleased that as a result of all this brouhaha (and the posting of the video on Youtube), there is a flurry of activity going on, which is something I have too little of in my life (and I've gotten readers for this blog, which I hope people will find interesting and inspirational, if they want to go back and read earlier things). As I posted today on Facebook, what would I rather? Have made a video that people are free to like or dislike, or have spent another day at my laptop working in my jammies singing in the bathroom?
I don't think you need to feel sad, although I do understand the inclination. There are probably more opportunities for you to develop and share than you think there are. NYC is saturated with singers so yes, it is a pain in the butt to try to find them sometimes. But they are there. And since you are a writer and editor, if you are producing your own concerts, you can also publicize them. You can also incorporate some of the stories you tell here into a concert you present, if you think sharing your path would move an audience similarly to how that cellist impressed Dan Wakin in the Times. Why not try it? And that is the very thing my voice teacher makes such an effort to impress upon everyone. You are the only one who walks your path. Sometimes it's hard to see what the path IS. If you can look past the mist and gloom that sometimes gather to really see it (sorry, I love Tolkien:)), you are on your way to sharing something real with people.
ReplyDeleteDear Type A,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your understanding. The reasons you cite here are why I started this blog. It began when I saw the movie Julie and Julia I realized that even though Julie might not have been a world class cook, the fact that she was excited by trying to cook all of Julia Childs' recipes piqued someone's interest and they wrote a story about her. As for the TIMES article, what I keep wondering is how Dan Wakin found that cellist? I know how journalists find subjects, but how to subjects find journalists? I even wrote to him after I saw that article and told him a little of my story but maybe he was "finished" with that subject. Yes, I had thought about interspersing some autobiography into a concert; maybe I could do it with some other older singers who started late. I am beginning to find them after years of looking.
My first job out of college 9 years ago was as a junior publicist at Juilliard, during which I pitched numerous stories (that's how subjects find journalists, with a compelling pitch letter.) If there is one person not to bother writing to, it's Dan Wakin. Why? Simple--because you're right, he already covered the topic. I would seek out other people who haven't covered this exact story (rediscovering a passion for the arts) but might have covered something similar, like an artist or other notable person who found his or her calling under unusual circumstances.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of performing, I might also think about looking outside NYC, which, as you said, is a saturated market. If you did a concert in NJ somewhere, for example, a local paper might be inclined to cover it and you. There is also no community theater or opera in NYC, but there are legitimate avocational groups in NJ and on Long Island. Probably some great ones in Westchester County, too. I am in NJ and we have a huge population of music lovers here.
I am an NFCS reader, and if you look on the thread the publisher posted about the bookstore gig, I think you will see that my teacher took issue with the publisher for requesting professional services without offering any compensation. It's great that you guys were able to work something out and were both satisfied. The issue is that artists are woefully underpaid most of the time, and people always ask us to perform for free. When I worked at Juilliard, random people would call my office and ask if a quartet of students could play at their event. I'd say, "Let me transfer you to Career Services--they can help you hire one." I would verbally underline the "hire" part. Some callers would actually say "Oh, I didn't mean ... I was hoping I could get some volunteers ... it would be good exposure ... " It just gets a bit tiring after awhile. If I wanted exposure, I'd sunbathe nude on my balcony. I have a pleasing instrument and suck at technique, and it took a lot for me to sing beautifully. I'm guessing the average accountant or HR or IT employee hasn't been on such a profound, personal, emotional, and frankly EXPENSIVE journey to achieve their current skills. But no one would presume to ask them to work for free. As musicians, we just get sick of people not valuing our skills when we busted our butts to get where we are (wherever that may be - I'm far from famous, just competent.) It just sucks when people want something for nothing. I don't think my teacher or anyone else had any issue with you taking the gig and having a great time. People are just really sick of this all-too-common theme. I'm pretty sure this is not the first time someone has snarked an NFCS poster for requesting free services. My husband is a software engineer, and if someone asked him to program a new financial function for free, he'd be like "Um, no, bye."
Dear Type A,
ReplyDeleteI totally understand that professional singers do not want to sing for free. Most people don't want to do for free what they do for a living, unless it is a conscious choice to donate their services for charity. If someone asked me to proofread or edit something for free I would say no thank you. On the other hand, someone working at MacDonalds who was an avid reader and would be writer, who thought she could do a good job proofreading or editing something for free, might love to do so and might find it fun. So for the other side of the equation: Are you saying no one should ask for volunteers full stop? Doing something you love but may not be good enough at (or educated to) do for a living is a wonderful part of people's lives. I think singing a simple aria in a comfortable range in a bookstore is just about my speed and I'm sure that the job I did was good enough and everyone was happy. I now have my very own Youtube video (I have one other, but I am singing a church solo wearing a choir robe and it is all very squeaky clean)and the video (and this blog, for good or ill) got a lot hits.
I am curious what you mean about their not being community opera groups in New York. There must be at least 10 opera groups that don't pay people and I have auditioned for all of them. 35 years ago there were similar groups but they really were for amateurs, some of whom had magnificent voices but some who didn't (I got cast in a lot of things and didn't sing nearly as well as I do now) and very few had music degrees or could sightread.
As for going outside New York, I feel I need to table that for now. I am responsible for taking care of my ex partner, do not drive, and have no money for travel expenses. I make very little money and am just hanging in for another three years until, yes!! I can collect Social Security on top of what I earn.
You did give me an idea, though. One of the things I got from the Publisher I sang for was their newly published issue of Carmen so I might consider having someone do dramatic readings from the book and intersperse them with the scenes from the opera that I am working on. I am pretty sure I have a free venue to use for putting on a concert next Spring.
On community opera groups: I definitely can't think of any that I would describe that way, not in NYC. If you are referring to places like dell'Arte, Amato/Amore, Regina, Chelsea, Bronx Opera, OperaOggi, Opera Co. of Brooklyn, Martha Cardona Theatre, etc., yes, it's true that some of them do not pay, but it's not because they are intended to be avocational programs. They are our industry's equivalent of internships, more or less. I haven't sung with all of those companies, but I do have one of them on my resume a number of times, and if you read their mission statement and 501c3 material, they were created to help singers transition from just out of music school or conservatory to professional careers. They pay very little or nothing because they are there to serve young artists' needs. It is very rare that you can leave school and immediately score an apprenticeship like Merola or Lindemann or a mainstage contract in the U.S. or Europe. Most of us need a LOT more polish, experience, private coaching, role preparation, and stage time. So, yes, those groups are populated by young professionals or rising professionals, but that's who they are meant to train/prepare for the next step. Truthfully, I don't know of a community opera group elsewhere, either. It requires so much preparation that I don't know that you'd have an easy time getting a group of people together to do it just for fun.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if you are interested in singing through some roles in full operas, you can check out New York Opera Forum, Sing Through Central, and New York Lyric Opera Theater. They charge a fee or ask you to sell tickets, but you get some coachings and can work with other serious singers. Some of them perform in pretty nice venues - the library at Lincoln Center, the Sharp Theater on the UWS, etc.
Thank you for your clarification about this. I also wanted to clarify what I meant about not wanting to sing a full-length opera with regular rehearsal time outside NYC. Money is not really the main issue (lest you think I'm a starving not-artist, I had well paying jobs for several decades and took "early retirement" - which included health insurance - to have more time for other things). The issue is that I do not feel safe coming and going late at night from farther away than somewhere in Manhattan that is accessible by bus.
ReplyDeleteI do know about New York Opera Forum! My teacher has sung just about every role tenor (and now baritone) role with them because the director is a friend of his and they always need men. I also scan the list for Singthrough Central from time to time. I auditioned for New York Lyric Opera but they were not interested. But for the most part, I feel that if I am going to spend money on paying to sing, I would rather spend it on producing something myself (usually the money from the ticket sales goes to charity which makes anything I spend tax deductible). That way I can choose what I am going to sing, can have control over the rehearsal schedule, and most important of all, know that I won't be abused by anyone (constructive criticism in a tactful way is always welcome) because I am the one providing the gig. This is not because I have a big ego, but rather the opposite. If I am surrounded by people 20 years younger with more experience and feel intimidated, I will not do my personal best.
And I will continue to look for funky little fun things like that bookstore gig!
As I said, I think your idea about incorporating spoken dialog of some kind into a concert is a great one!