Anyone who has been a reader of this blog, knows how long and hard I have struggled with the Amneris/Radames duet with the two high B flats.
Yesterday, as I don't have anything on my schedule to sing, I thought I would just give it a go and see if all the new technical things I have learned would allow me to sing through this as easily as I have been singing other things.
And - yes!!
OK, one swallow doesn't make a summer, but I was able to do the following:
1. Keep my jaw relaxed and not pound on those repeating E flats at the beginning "Chi ti salva".
2. Keep my jaw relaxed full stop.
3. Sing it sad instead of angry. I actually don't know what it sounds like to an audience (this is too technically difficult to sing in front of the ipad, which would be too distracting) but if I feel sad (and yes, she can be sad!! she is telling him that no one can save him now if he won't give up Aida) everything relaxes instead of tensing up the way it does if I am angry.
4. Sing the ascending scale on "aw" not "or dal ciel" (no one sings it as written anyhow) and not take a breath. Catch breaths can be fatal.
5. Keep my larynx down and raise my palate as I ascend the scale.
Everything just feels about 20 pounds lighter.
So what I have to do now, just like someone who's lost body weight, is believe that this is me, now. That I don't need all that weight, all that tension, and all that work. The work has been done. I just have to relax now.
I will take the piece to my lesson tomorrow and see what happens.
Showing posts with label Amneris. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Amneris. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
The Work Goes On....
After I made my last blog entry, I had a fabulous runthrough of the Amneris/Radames duet, including the dreaded high B flats. Yes, OK, I took a brief pause to focus myself before that ascending passage, but I did it.
This made me both happy and sad. I was happy because as I was singing through the duet (and most of the duet, in fact most of the role is tailor made for my voice) I got a glimpse of what I could/should sound like, in fact would have sounded like if I had begun at the beginning and moved into this repertoire at an age when I could devote myself to it. This is what I should be singing, give or take a few outlier notes that are very hard to acquire at my age. But no one is going to (I am not going to use the word "hire" and am groping for another one) invite (by which I mean ask me to sing on their dime in a situation where they do all the organizing) me to sing this repertoire anywhere. I don't even think I would be considered good enough to sing it at SingThrough Central, based on who sings there. (The woman who sang Carmen has sung with the Met Chorus, for example). And at my age I am not spending one penny to sing a comprimaria role in a venue like that. And although at the pay to sing group that my teacher is involved with I have heard some singers in big roles who do not sound as good as I do (meaning their intonation is faulty), for some mysterious reason, they can nonetheless hoist their voices up to those B flats and B naturals even if (in the case of one mezzo I can think of) the B flat is really in that quarter tone limbo between an A natural and a B flat.
So I am left with what people are likely to want me to sing. Several people have told me what I should be singing is Spanish art songs (sacred or otherwise). What is meant, I think, is that those sit in my upper middle register where my voice is clearest and most comfortable, and most of these do not go above a high G or below middle C.
So how can I be saying two conflicting things? Well, they aren't really. There's what my voice was made to sing in ideal circumstances, if I had had the right training and had been able to devote myself to building my physical stamina and increasing my range (both things that could have been done, and can sorta kinda be done now but not to the necessary extent). Then there's what I always can sing, pleasantly and comfortably with enough polish never to offend, but with nothing to wow! either.
That means church solos that can create a pleasant mood for communion (or - on rare occasion - some Bach in a range that will not get too loud) and some nice songs that can be sung in the classical vein with a nice line and with thoughtful interpretation, in a concert with other people of all ages and abilities.
In real world terms, what that means is that I am now putting Amneris aside to work on the songs by Manuel Garcia. There's one, http://youtu.be/6BNFOWeWu44 "yo que soy contrabandista" that requires a lot of fast singing, with diction forward. And trilling. Basically the same skills I used to sing "Chanson Boheme". I hope to get a spot in the Hispanic Heritage concert, which is not guaranteed. If I can get some interesting instrumental accompaniment it should be fun. And I can wear something flashy.
This made me both happy and sad. I was happy because as I was singing through the duet (and most of the duet, in fact most of the role is tailor made for my voice) I got a glimpse of what I could/should sound like, in fact would have sounded like if I had begun at the beginning and moved into this repertoire at an age when I could devote myself to it. This is what I should be singing, give or take a few outlier notes that are very hard to acquire at my age. But no one is going to (I am not going to use the word "hire" and am groping for another one) invite (by which I mean ask me to sing on their dime in a situation where they do all the organizing) me to sing this repertoire anywhere. I don't even think I would be considered good enough to sing it at SingThrough Central, based on who sings there. (The woman who sang Carmen has sung with the Met Chorus, for example). And at my age I am not spending one penny to sing a comprimaria role in a venue like that. And although at the pay to sing group that my teacher is involved with I have heard some singers in big roles who do not sound as good as I do (meaning their intonation is faulty), for some mysterious reason, they can nonetheless hoist their voices up to those B flats and B naturals even if (in the case of one mezzo I can think of) the B flat is really in that quarter tone limbo between an A natural and a B flat.
So I am left with what people are likely to want me to sing. Several people have told me what I should be singing is Spanish art songs (sacred or otherwise). What is meant, I think, is that those sit in my upper middle register where my voice is clearest and most comfortable, and most of these do not go above a high G or below middle C.
So how can I be saying two conflicting things? Well, they aren't really. There's what my voice was made to sing in ideal circumstances, if I had had the right training and had been able to devote myself to building my physical stamina and increasing my range (both things that could have been done, and can sorta kinda be done now but not to the necessary extent). Then there's what I always can sing, pleasantly and comfortably with enough polish never to offend, but with nothing to wow! either.
That means church solos that can create a pleasant mood for communion (or - on rare occasion - some Bach in a range that will not get too loud) and some nice songs that can be sung in the classical vein with a nice line and with thoughtful interpretation, in a concert with other people of all ages and abilities.
In real world terms, what that means is that I am now putting Amneris aside to work on the songs by Manuel Garcia. There's one, http://youtu.be/6BNFOWeWu44 "yo que soy contrabandista" that requires a lot of fast singing, with diction forward. And trilling. Basically the same skills I used to sing "Chanson Boheme". I hope to get a spot in the Hispanic Heritage concert, which is not guaranteed. If I can get some interesting instrumental accompaniment it should be fun. And I can wear something flashy.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
A Memoir, a Song, and a Short Story, or Amneris, not Joanna
This post started out as a Facebook post that no one responded to, so I decided it might do better as a blog entry.
Since Maya Angelou died recently, a lot has been written about her first memoir, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Thinking about the title of this book reminded me of a song that I had almost as turbulent a relationship with as I had with Dalila's "Mon Coeur": "Green Finch and Linnet Bird".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBnNyL5O0Tc&feature=youtu.be
I laughingly referred to it as "the Caregiver's National Anthem" even though it is written to be sung by a young ingenue (although as it sits in my comfortable range of middle C to high G, I have sung it and I believe I have sung it well although I sound nothing like the woman in the Youtube clip).
For years I felt like Joanna: trapped with someone elderly in a passionless life. In fact, in some of my earlier online communities, my "tag" was "if I cannot fly, let me sing".
This song was, in fact, my final battleground with The Mentor. He coached me through it ridiculing me and mocking me, screaming and making faces, and, before we were finished, telling me I looked like Norma Desmond.
Since Maya Angelou died recently, a lot has been written about her first memoir, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Thinking about the title of this book reminded me of a song that I had almost as turbulent a relationship with as I had with Dalila's "Mon Coeur": "Green Finch and Linnet Bird".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBnNyL5O0Tc&feature=youtu.be
I laughingly referred to it as "the Caregiver's National Anthem" even though it is written to be sung by a young ingenue (although as it sits in my comfortable range of middle C to high G, I have sung it and I believe I have sung it well although I sound nothing like the woman in the Youtube clip).
For years I felt like Joanna: trapped with someone elderly in a passionless life. In fact, in some of my earlier online communities, my "tag" was "if I cannot fly, let me sing".
This song was, in fact, my final battleground with The Mentor. He coached me through it ridiculing me and mocking me, screaming and making faces, and, before we were finished, telling me I looked like Norma Desmond.
(When it came time for me to actually sing the piece - in a church fundraiser - he was notably AWOL. In any event, it was after that session that I decided that he and I needed to call it quits.)
I have had various degrees of identification with this song over the years, and yes, although my life is no longer passionless, I still sometimes feel like a prisoner. But I know I am not. And I haven't had any impulse to sing this in a long time.
The import of my original Facebook posting was that I had wondered if Sondheim had seen (or read) the Angelou memoir when he wrote this song because of course, the theme of it is "Why the Caged Bird Sings".
Later, when I entered an online writing contest (one thing I am proud of that carried over from the pseudonymous blog that I eventually deleted) one of the "prompts" was "the Caged Bird" (was this also an homage to Angelou?) I wrote a three page short story about my experiences working in the "Data Factory", which was, I guess, a short version of my Cinderella play, which I have let languish. The story was published in an anthology called Idol Meanderings.
If I am not Joanna, I am definitely Amneris these days, with or without those dreaded B flats. I had a voice lesson Tuesday for the first time in almost a month. I sang through most of the Amneris/Radames duet (that is what my teacher wanted). It sounded as if the role had been written for me except - what else! - when I got to the section with the dreaded ascending scale I panicked, started breathing shallowly (if at all) and pretty much blew it although I did hit the note on pitch. Of course when I went back and only sang the few measures leading up to the phrase itself it sounded like gangbusters. Now, what my teacher told me to do (this surprised me) was to start at the beginning of the duet, singing as well as I know I can (and he told me the way most of this role is written is ideal for my voice) and then, well, just keep singing well, with my larynx down and my throat open, and my support working, and see what happens when I get there, but not to obsess and panic and spoil the rest of the piece. And if it doesn't work, he said then I can go back and sing the phrase by itself. (And in a few minutes, I will do just that!)
And: at last night's choir practice I sounded really good. There is a piece we will be singing with a high A flat and it was like, easy peasy. (Now the question is will it be that easy at 7:50 am when I have to give it a whirl in my bathroom before leaving the house?)
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Have Fun!
Today I had a voice lesson. When I got there, my teacher said he had made up binders for our concert, with the music in order.
We will be singing:
Aida trio (all three of us)
"O Patria Mia" (soprano)
Trovatore scene beginning after the "Anvil Chorus" and going through to the end of the scene (me and my teacher)
Intermission
Otello duet (my teacher and soprano)
Aida/Amneris duet (me and soprano)
Aida final trio (all three of us)
Possibly "Libiamo" from Traviata as an encore (I would sing Flora/the chorus part)
So anyhow, this means it's serious. No wimping out now!
At today's lesson I told my teacher I felt better about the section with the B flat if I didn't come down like a ton of bricks on the A. So he had me sing from "la mano convulsa stenda" to the end of the scene. The B flat sounded OK except I came in early because I was nervous. Everything else sounded great and I remembered all my notes and words (I was looking at the score, but nonetheless, it's still easy to get some words mixed up, particularly pronouns!)
Then we did the Aida/Amneris duet (I mean I sang my part!) and he said I sounded like a real dramatic mezzo, not being afraid to sing with power, and that that is how I should sing all the time. He said I should have fun!!! with the whole thing. He said if I sing "Condotta" with that level of energy, with a big dark sound, whether I sing the B flat well or not, I will give a good performance. He said I would have fewer vocal problems if I didn't try to "save" my voice by pussyfooting around. If I do that things are out of balance and then I don't have the energy I need.
So in addition to my affirmations, I need to tell myself "have fun!" before I start singing, instead of having this nervous nellie feeling which I don't think does my singing any good.
Then we had some laughs when I said Amneris is a young girl (well, yes, if she's not married she can't be more than about 15) and he said "well, think of some of these young girls you see nowadays with loud voices and big boobs!"
Anyhow, so I hope I can carry that spirit (I mean the "having fun" spirit) forward and stop being nervous.
I will see what tomorrow's practice brings and Thursday, Trovatore is going to be on tv. I told my partner that I was singing a scene from that in the concert (she is beginning to give me less of a hard time over that - I think it's borne in on her that I'm not playing any seduction scenes this time so she's less angry).
We will be singing:
Aida trio (all three of us)
"O Patria Mia" (soprano)
Trovatore scene beginning after the "Anvil Chorus" and going through to the end of the scene (me and my teacher)
Intermission
Otello duet (my teacher and soprano)
Aida/Amneris duet (me and soprano)
Aida final trio (all three of us)
Possibly "Libiamo" from Traviata as an encore (I would sing Flora/the chorus part)
So anyhow, this means it's serious. No wimping out now!
At today's lesson I told my teacher I felt better about the section with the B flat if I didn't come down like a ton of bricks on the A. So he had me sing from "la mano convulsa stenda" to the end of the scene. The B flat sounded OK except I came in early because I was nervous. Everything else sounded great and I remembered all my notes and words (I was looking at the score, but nonetheless, it's still easy to get some words mixed up, particularly pronouns!)
Then we did the Aida/Amneris duet (I mean I sang my part!) and he said I sounded like a real dramatic mezzo, not being afraid to sing with power, and that that is how I should sing all the time. He said I should have fun!!! with the whole thing. He said if I sing "Condotta" with that level of energy, with a big dark sound, whether I sing the B flat well or not, I will give a good performance. He said I would have fewer vocal problems if I didn't try to "save" my voice by pussyfooting around. If I do that things are out of balance and then I don't have the energy I need.
So in addition to my affirmations, I need to tell myself "have fun!" before I start singing, instead of having this nervous nellie feeling which I don't think does my singing any good.
Then we had some laughs when I said Amneris is a young girl (well, yes, if she's not married she can't be more than about 15) and he said "well, think of some of these young girls you see nowadays with loud voices and big boobs!"
Anyhow, so I hope I can carry that spirit (I mean the "having fun" spirit) forward and stop being nervous.
I will see what tomorrow's practice brings and Thursday, Trovatore is going to be on tv. I told my partner that I was singing a scene from that in the concert (she is beginning to give me less of a hard time over that - I think it's borne in on her that I'm not playing any seduction scenes this time so she's less angry).
Friday, April 29, 2011
The Best Yet
I'm just taking a minute here, between work, watching the royal wedding (which I'm loving - I consider myself an honorary Brit after all, having been immersed in Brit Lit since the age of 6), and getting ready for an appointment, to drop a line about last night's practice. Again, I didn't "feel like" - it was late, and it was hard to find a stopping off point in my work-for-pay, but I gave "Chi ti Salva" a spin and this was the best yet. True, I didn't really start from the beginning. I sang "Gia sacerdoti adunansi" and then "Ah tu dei vivere" (the line beginning "e patria e trono" is something I sing very well and always have)and then took a break before getting to "Chi ti salva".
But something is different. I don't know where this came from. I really don't. I mean I've been working hard at getting a buzz in my upper register not to mention all the months of Pilates to give me a core to sing from. But if I just think "woo, woo, woo" (I'm serious!) on those last three notes (I've gone back to taking a breath after "or dal ciel" as is customary) instead of thinking of them as a straight line which sort of ended up getting "stuck", something really opens up and comes out the back of my head. The B flat now sounds the way the A has sounded for several years now. So if only this will stick!! I want to feel I'm past all the angst over these notes.
What inspired me to write, actually, was an amazing post by the great Toreador Song which touched upon issues I've always had, most notably needing tons more core strength than the light lyric singer (I've always felt like an idiot having to chug protein shakes to sing in the upper register but this post explained why) and being told I'm singing too loud or "pushing" when things feel right.
So I'm now off to an appointment, then more editing, then I'll go back to that section early this evening
But something is different. I don't know where this came from. I really don't. I mean I've been working hard at getting a buzz in my upper register not to mention all the months of Pilates to give me a core to sing from. But if I just think "woo, woo, woo" (I'm serious!) on those last three notes (I've gone back to taking a breath after "or dal ciel" as is customary) instead of thinking of them as a straight line which sort of ended up getting "stuck", something really opens up and comes out the back of my head. The B flat now sounds the way the A has sounded for several years now. So if only this will stick!! I want to feel I'm past all the angst over these notes.
What inspired me to write, actually, was an amazing post by the great Toreador Song which touched upon issues I've always had, most notably needing tons more core strength than the light lyric singer (I've always felt like an idiot having to chug protein shakes to sing in the upper register but this post explained why) and being told I'm singing too loud or "pushing" when things feel right.
So I'm now off to an appointment, then more editing, then I'll go back to that section early this evening
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
An Old Friend
As promised, I am now back "in training" to work on Amneris and Azucena. Yesterday I was pleasantly surprised by how well the dreaded page in the Amneris/Radames duet with the two high B flats went. I sang from "Chi ti Salva" several times and it sounded great. Not so great when I started at the beginning, but passable and after a small recoup it sounded good, meaning that there's a 99 percent chance that if I had to sing it in public now I would not totally disgrace myself. Possibly an off-night Borodina type scream on the first one, but a great spine-tingling note on the reprise, as I would have had time to rest. And I think I finally have an inkling of what I'm doing, which I never had before. I just drop my bloody larynx and let it rip! The way I have known how to do on an A for several years. This is what my teacher calls an "animal note".
I read an interview with Jane Eaglen in Classical Singer in which she talks about the need to rehearse difficult passages sometimes for as much as 30 minutes a day. I don't think I've quite done that - mostly out of fear that I would wreck my voice singing those notes over and over - but I've certainly given that page a good 15 minutes over and over. Maybe I'm starting to see a payoff? In any event, I am simply not going to give up. If one thing doesn't work I will try another. And this isn't the first time I've come back to something that gave me trouble. I used to not have the stamina to consistently nail the ending to "Acerba Volutta" and now it's my top aria. True, we were only talking about an A there, but nonetheless...
I called this piece "an old friend" not "an old foe" because the role of Amneris was written for a voice just like mine, albeit for someone with more stamina and a tiny bit more stretch in the upper register than I have now but I can see that I am getting there and that this is the rep I am meant to be singing.
On the other hand, the soprano line in the "Halleluia Chorus" is "an old foe" because that is not something I am meant to be singing. The alto part really isn't either but at least it won't squeeze my voice into the wrong place and have repercussions.
Anyhow, I can hardly wait to see my teacher and start planning our concert. I know he really really wants to sing this. So I just have to keep drilling and drilling it.
Tonight I almost didn't practice because it was 7 pm and I was feeling blah and had paying work to do. Boy am I glad I did!!
So now it's back to paying the rent.
I read an interview with Jane Eaglen in Classical Singer in which she talks about the need to rehearse difficult passages sometimes for as much as 30 minutes a day. I don't think I've quite done that - mostly out of fear that I would wreck my voice singing those notes over and over - but I've certainly given that page a good 15 minutes over and over. Maybe I'm starting to see a payoff? In any event, I am simply not going to give up. If one thing doesn't work I will try another. And this isn't the first time I've come back to something that gave me trouble. I used to not have the stamina to consistently nail the ending to "Acerba Volutta" and now it's my top aria. True, we were only talking about an A there, but nonetheless...
I called this piece "an old friend" not "an old foe" because the role of Amneris was written for a voice just like mine, albeit for someone with more stamina and a tiny bit more stretch in the upper register than I have now but I can see that I am getting there and that this is the rep I am meant to be singing.
On the other hand, the soprano line in the "Halleluia Chorus" is "an old foe" because that is not something I am meant to be singing. The alto part really isn't either but at least it won't squeeze my voice into the wrong place and have repercussions.
Anyhow, I can hardly wait to see my teacher and start planning our concert. I know he really really wants to sing this. So I just have to keep drilling and drilling it.
Tonight I almost didn't practice because it was 7 pm and I was feeling blah and had paying work to do. Boy am I glad I did!!
So now it's back to paying the rent.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Giving Verdi Up for Lent?
I had a voice lesson yesterday. I had expected to sound horrid because I have been so depressed and haven't been sleeping well. I was pleasantly surprised. I sounded like gangbusters up to a B (we decided to pass on the C) and we once again went through the dreaded page in the Amneris/Radames duet and two out of three sounded great and the third sounded good 'nuf if I had sounded like that in public; certainly no worse than some notes I've heard from Olga Borodinalately.
I told him I was worried that I was getting off course because I felt my voice had too much weight, particularly on the top. I said I never felt that I was straining (I feel more like I'm straining singing pages of "light" soprano parts with the choir)but that I often (e.g., in the Aida duet aforementioned) felt that I just didn't have the oomph to continue on. He told me that this means I'm singing correctly, that yes, it takes more energy, and that since I'm 60, it takes more time to recoup and if I'm tired and depressed it would be harder for me to sing up there than for a 40 year old (a 30 year old couldn't sing that rep to begin with, or shouldn't).
I told my teacher about my deep sadness over trying to get my partner into an assisted living facility, as well as all the stress this is causing me, and I said I just didn't have the heart to plan concerts or anything really other than my choir solos. Then I laughingly said maybe I should give up singing that rep for Lent and just focus on my sacred solos. I've got two that I might be singing at the church, plus "Erbarme Dich", which I'm working on as something to do with the violinist, and then if I want a bit of drama, there's always "Liber Scriptus" from the Verdi Requiem, which is no different from the other Verdi roles except that it only goes up to an A flat. That's an ideal piece for me. Unfortunately I have yet to find any venue where I can sing it. The choir director really doesn't like big dramatic singing, at least not in a church context, and it's not the sort of thing for a Saturday afternoon concert. In any event maybe taking a break from the big Verdi opera roles will take some of the stress off me right now. I told my teacher I'm always worried about losing my upper register and he said no, I won't if I continue to vocalize up there.
As for Lent, even though I'm not Christian I think observing it in some way has spiritual meaning (it certainly beats fasting and making myself sick - probably for an ensuing 72 hours - for Yom Kippur). My Lenten project this year is loving my partner as much as I can, devoting my attention to getting her into the right facility, and doing whatever I have to do with good grace, instead of with resentment.
I told him I was worried that I was getting off course because I felt my voice had too much weight, particularly on the top. I said I never felt that I was straining (I feel more like I'm straining singing pages of "light" soprano parts with the choir)but that I often (e.g., in the Aida duet aforementioned) felt that I just didn't have the oomph to continue on. He told me that this means I'm singing correctly, that yes, it takes more energy, and that since I'm 60, it takes more time to recoup and if I'm tired and depressed it would be harder for me to sing up there than for a 40 year old (a 30 year old couldn't sing that rep to begin with, or shouldn't).
I told my teacher about my deep sadness over trying to get my partner into an assisted living facility, as well as all the stress this is causing me, and I said I just didn't have the heart to plan concerts or anything really other than my choir solos. Then I laughingly said maybe I should give up singing that rep for Lent and just focus on my sacred solos. I've got two that I might be singing at the church, plus "Erbarme Dich", which I'm working on as something to do with the violinist, and then if I want a bit of drama, there's always "Liber Scriptus" from the Verdi Requiem, which is no different from the other Verdi roles except that it only goes up to an A flat. That's an ideal piece for me. Unfortunately I have yet to find any venue where I can sing it. The choir director really doesn't like big dramatic singing, at least not in a church context, and it's not the sort of thing for a Saturday afternoon concert. In any event maybe taking a break from the big Verdi opera roles will take some of the stress off me right now. I told my teacher I'm always worried about losing my upper register and he said no, I won't if I continue to vocalize up there.
As for Lent, even though I'm not Christian I think observing it in some way has spiritual meaning (it certainly beats fasting and making myself sick - probably for an ensuing 72 hours - for Yom Kippur). My Lenten project this year is loving my partner as much as I can, devoting my attention to getting her into the right facility, and doing whatever I have to do with good grace, instead of with resentment.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Sometimes it's a Blessing to be Singing Alto
I may not be writing much here, because I may not be singing anything ambitious (don't worry, I will still be practicing every day and learning my choir music and choir solos). I am going through a very sad life transition (on the heels of the sad life transition of losing my mother) which involves trying to get my partner into an assisted living facility. I don't want to say much here, for reasons of her personal privacy, but suffice it to say that I have been spending a lot of time googling (thank goodness for all the research on nonprofits I did on my last full-time job) and a lot of time crying.
I know it's for the best, and it will be wonderful not to have to do shopping and laundry for her on the weekends, but it's still sad.
I also haven't been sleeping well since this decision was made a few days ago.
Tomorrow I'm singing alto in a selection from Haydn's "The Seasons". So I have to know my music, but as the part only goes up to an E, I don't have to be in great physical shape.
But I need to keep vocalizing, at least up to a B. I am taking a break from a rather scaled down practice session, and don't know if I have the nerve to take a crack at the ascending phrase from the Amneris/Radames duet (I've been working on it again and it's been giving me trouble again - the Azucena "Condotta" B flat is easier). Maybe not. I do need to work on a piece we're singing on Ash Wednesday, though. I'm singing soprano and it bounces up and down to "high" Fs. Fine if I can sing with my real voice.
I know it's for the best, and it will be wonderful not to have to do shopping and laundry for her on the weekends, but it's still sad.
I also haven't been sleeping well since this decision was made a few days ago.
Tomorrow I'm singing alto in a selection from Haydn's "The Seasons". So I have to know my music, but as the part only goes up to an E, I don't have to be in great physical shape.
But I need to keep vocalizing, at least up to a B. I am taking a break from a rather scaled down practice session, and don't know if I have the nerve to take a crack at the ascending phrase from the Amneris/Radames duet (I've been working on it again and it's been giving me trouble again - the Azucena "Condotta" B flat is easier). Maybe not. I do need to work on a piece we're singing on Ash Wednesday, though. I'm singing soprano and it bounces up and down to "high" Fs. Fine if I can sing with my real voice.
Monday, February 21, 2011
A Possible Snub and A Good Practice
I shouldn't really care about this, but...
One place I have had as a venue to strut my stuff for the last two years (2009 and 2010) was, believe it or not, the old Unitarian church where I found God, my voice, and The Mentor Who Shall Not Be Discussed.
Not as a choir soloist, but as a guest artist in a cabaret entitled "Divine Drag" and I forget what else, to raise money for an LGBT youth shelter.
The first year I decided to sing the Habanera from Carmen. Yes, there's more drag for mezzos in opera than you can shake a stick at, but I've been there, done that, and, to quote something a colleague said in another context - I'm done. Meaning I'm done playing the LGBT card. I'm a big buxom girl with a big voice and I ain't playing any more boys. So I laughingly decided, well, for a WASP-y looking girl to put on a black wig and some gypsy duds is drag enough. As I mentioned here, I was once told I was too, well, white to play Carmen and something about that stuck with me.
Well, divine drag it was and it was on Valentine's Day and I got to make peace with himself.
And singing was only half the fun. Even more fun was getting to have a professional makeup job done by the "lady" sharing the photo with me. I know many women get to experience that sort of thing, not just performing artists, but gals who have had formal weddings, even Bat Mitzvahs. But when your mother's a communist, that sort of thing is just not in the culture (hence my love affair with dressing up?)
Well, the following year, even though I had had the perm from Hell and was definitely having a bad hair day, I upped the ante and went for Sappho's "O Ma Lyre Immortelle". This is a somewhat obscure mezzo aria that is quite lovely, and has a scenery chewing coda complete with a high B flat. I don't know why, but I've never had a problem with that particular B flat. Maybe because she's screaming before throwing herself into the ocean.
I sang well. Not my best (the backstage area was full of incense dust) but I hung onto that note for dear life and got thunderous applause. The audience was full of gay men and they love a scenery chewing diva. And I milked it for all it was worth, curtesying in the traditional diva way, what? seven times? Well, I was on a bill with pop singers, folk singers, dancers, and comics. So I had the diva moment all to myself.
But getting back to the "snub". The person hosting this event year after year is my bass friend, the one who sang in the nursing home concert with me. Both years I sang in the event because he invited me (a nice change from constantly feeling I have to do it all myself). Well, this year there was no invite, which I didn't dwell on. I think I had told him I was doing Carmelites and anyhow there might not have been a cabaret this year as the church has a new music director. Well, this morning I searched my email for the bass's address because I wanted to tell him I had a copy of "Ich Habe Genug" for bass solo (long story, not worth detailing here)and did he want it. And when I searched my email for his last name, it came up in the church newsletter, which I still get, saying he was running the cabaret again (it was this past Saturday). Now true, an earlier mentioned asked for volunteers, but no. I am not volunteering for that sort of thing. I expect to be asked. So what was the deal? I didn't mention it in my email to him because I want to see if he mentions it but still I wonder. Did the minister at the church (who deserves Barbara Bush's epithet that rhymes with rich) say "I don't want Babydramatic here again?" I know both times I sang in the event she said nothing other than to ask me how my partner was. (Yes, this is one of the reasons why I have stayed at the Lutheran church. Even though I'm not a parishioner, the pastors always say something nice when I sing.) Well, I can't brood about this. It's what AA calls "the luxury department" meaning it's a luxury to scratch your brain trying to figure out why someone did or didn't do something.
As for the second half of my post title, I had a really good practice. I can hit the dreaded note in "Condotta" if I use the portamento and I even had a good run through my nemesis, aka the ascending phrase in the Amneris/Radames duet, which I haven't looked at in several months. And "Erfreute Zeit", aka Cantata 83, really rocks. I never was that into making a big show out of low notes before but as this piece doesn't have any high notes, I will milk them (and the rapid fire fioratura) for all it's worth.
One place I have had as a venue to strut my stuff for the last two years (2009 and 2010) was, believe it or not, the old Unitarian church where I found God, my voice, and The Mentor Who Shall Not Be Discussed.
Not as a choir soloist, but as a guest artist in a cabaret entitled "Divine Drag" and I forget what else, to raise money for an LGBT youth shelter.
The first year I decided to sing the Habanera from Carmen. Yes, there's more drag for mezzos in opera than you can shake a stick at, but I've been there, done that, and, to quote something a colleague said in another context - I'm done. Meaning I'm done playing the LGBT card. I'm a big buxom girl with a big voice and I ain't playing any more boys. So I laughingly decided, well, for a WASP-y looking girl to put on a black wig and some gypsy duds is drag enough. As I mentioned here, I was once told I was too, well, white to play Carmen and something about that stuck with me.
Well, divine drag it was and it was on Valentine's Day and I got to make peace with himself.
And singing was only half the fun. Even more fun was getting to have a professional makeup job done by the "lady" sharing the photo with me. I know many women get to experience that sort of thing, not just performing artists, but gals who have had formal weddings, even Bat Mitzvahs. But when your mother's a communist, that sort of thing is just not in the culture (hence my love affair with dressing up?)
Well, the following year, even though I had had the perm from Hell and was definitely having a bad hair day, I upped the ante and went for Sappho's "O Ma Lyre Immortelle". This is a somewhat obscure mezzo aria that is quite lovely, and has a scenery chewing coda complete with a high B flat. I don't know why, but I've never had a problem with that particular B flat. Maybe because she's screaming before throwing herself into the ocean.
I sang well. Not my best (the backstage area was full of incense dust) but I hung onto that note for dear life and got thunderous applause. The audience was full of gay men and they love a scenery chewing diva. And I milked it for all it was worth, curtesying in the traditional diva way, what? seven times? Well, I was on a bill with pop singers, folk singers, dancers, and comics. So I had the diva moment all to myself.
But getting back to the "snub". The person hosting this event year after year is my bass friend, the one who sang in the nursing home concert with me. Both years I sang in the event because he invited me (a nice change from constantly feeling I have to do it all myself). Well, this year there was no invite, which I didn't dwell on. I think I had told him I was doing Carmelites and anyhow there might not have been a cabaret this year as the church has a new music director. Well, this morning I searched my email for the bass's address because I wanted to tell him I had a copy of "Ich Habe Genug" for bass solo (long story, not worth detailing here)and did he want it. And when I searched my email for his last name, it came up in the church newsletter, which I still get, saying he was running the cabaret again (it was this past Saturday). Now true, an earlier mentioned asked for volunteers, but no. I am not volunteering for that sort of thing. I expect to be asked. So what was the deal? I didn't mention it in my email to him because I want to see if he mentions it but still I wonder. Did the minister at the church (who deserves Barbara Bush's epithet that rhymes with rich) say "I don't want Babydramatic here again?" I know both times I sang in the event she said nothing other than to ask me how my partner was. (Yes, this is one of the reasons why I have stayed at the Lutheran church. Even though I'm not a parishioner, the pastors always say something nice when I sing.) Well, I can't brood about this. It's what AA calls "the luxury department" meaning it's a luxury to scratch your brain trying to figure out why someone did or didn't do something.
As for the second half of my post title, I had a really good practice. I can hit the dreaded note in "Condotta" if I use the portamento and I even had a good run through my nemesis, aka the ascending phrase in the Amneris/Radames duet, which I haven't looked at in several months. And "Erfreute Zeit", aka Cantata 83, really rocks. I never was that into making a big show out of low notes before but as this piece doesn't have any high notes, I will milk them (and the rapid fire fioratura) for all it's worth.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Turnaround
I hadn't expected to post again today but as I've shared a lot of angst, I want to share something nice.
This afternoon I got an email from someone from the cast of Carmelites saying she was sorry I had left and that people had talked about what a nice lady and lovely singer (italics mine) I was. I was stunned, and it made me want to cry.
I just think so little of myself (not of my voice itself, but of how I measure up holistically against other singers in a broad range of areas)that hearing something like this really blew me away.
I wrote back to her and explained why I left, that I simply was not up for feeling humiliated in front of a roomful of people less than half my age. It would have been different if I had been getting paid, had a large role, if everyone in the cast was subjected to the same treatment, if it had involved less of a time commitment...
In any event apparently this was just the push I needed to make me really feel like a singer again and this afternoon I sang through some Amneris excerpts and really sounded good. Those new exercises have made an enormous difference. Even the treacherous ascending phrase in the duet with Radames (which I still use as an exercise, and as a benchmark of how comfortable my voice is in that range) sounded glorious. I don't think I've ever sung a B flat like that. Now if I can just hang onto this new sound, and get my courage back up to look for something to do...
This afternoon I got an email from someone from the cast of Carmelites saying she was sorry I had left and that people had talked about what a nice lady and lovely singer (italics mine) I was. I was stunned, and it made me want to cry.
I just think so little of myself (not of my voice itself, but of how I measure up holistically against other singers in a broad range of areas)that hearing something like this really blew me away.
I wrote back to her and explained why I left, that I simply was not up for feeling humiliated in front of a roomful of people less than half my age. It would have been different if I had been getting paid, had a large role, if everyone in the cast was subjected to the same treatment, if it had involved less of a time commitment...
In any event apparently this was just the push I needed to make me really feel like a singer again and this afternoon I sang through some Amneris excerpts and really sounded good. Those new exercises have made an enormous difference. Even the treacherous ascending phrase in the duet with Radames (which I still use as an exercise, and as a benchmark of how comfortable my voice is in that range) sounded glorious. I don't think I've ever sung a B flat like that. Now if I can just hang onto this new sound, and get my courage back up to look for something to do...
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Playing the Age Card before Someone Else Does
This evening I went to my monthly group coaching. They have one every Tuesday night but I only go once a month. It's open to about 7-8 people and for $20 we get to sing three arias or whatever with a pianist.
I brought the Judgment Scene and ran through two sections of it. I sang well. I sing this well. And I got quite a bit of applause. I also sang all the way through my part of the "Vengeance Duet" from Samson et Dalila which also went well (my voice really moves, which comes as a surprise to many people), and then ended with the Habanera.
I told people that this was my 46th anniversary of singing the piece, since the first time I sang it I was 14. And I know I am still a hot Carmen no matter how old I am.
I think I'm really past the age when I care who knows how old I am. I mean 60 is a big number, and being able to sound as fresh and young as I do at my age is something to be proud of, not something to hide.
If I were, say, 42, and still hanging on by my fingernails hoping for a big break, knowing I was competing with people ten years younger, it might be another story. But at my age who cares? No one is going to "hire" me for money to sing anything and in fact no matter how good I sound no one is even going to cast me in any of the "emerging pro" performances (unless it's a character my age, in which case my age shouldn't matter).
I think I'm as sexy a Carmen as women half my age.
I mean I see so many women my age who obviously have just "given up". It isn't a question of God-given body size or shape, it's a question of attitude. I see these women (there are a lot of them in offices) who are either never-married or divorced or married for decades and what's the new acronym - DINS (that stands for double income, no sex). They have bad posture from sitting at a desk all day and walk like they're uncomfortable with their bodies. I am not like that. I remember reading somewhere that if you're over 50 sexuality is supposed to be "a giggle". Hello??? Not for this sexy sexagenarian. I take myself very seriously as a seductress. That's why Carmen and Dalila are my favorite roles. (Not to mention that the famous arias don't have any scary high notes.)
So in any event I just let it rip and had fun tonight "doing" Carmen.
Of course no matter how well I sing most of the people sing better. There was one young woman who sounded glorious, who is auditioning for a company that not only threw my audition materials in the garbage, but whose "head" called me up and insulted me for even sending them. Was that really necessary?
And of course this woman could just soar up into the vocal stratosphere with no fears at all!
It never ceases to amaze me that there are all these people (sopranos) for whom high notes hold no terrors. They may be afraid of long phrases, the passagio break, French, or forgetting their music, but not of a high C and certainly not of a high B!
Speaking of which that deadly phrase in the Amneris/Radames duet is getting easier and easier. I just pretend I'm singing the one in the Judgment Scene that's one half step lower!!
So tomorrow it's on to sing the alto part in a Bach cantata. At least it has a decent range (sort of) and lots of long phrases requiring good breath control, which I have.
I brought the Judgment Scene and ran through two sections of it. I sang well. I sing this well. And I got quite a bit of applause. I also sang all the way through my part of the "Vengeance Duet" from Samson et Dalila which also went well (my voice really moves, which comes as a surprise to many people), and then ended with the Habanera.
I told people that this was my 46th anniversary of singing the piece, since the first time I sang it I was 14. And I know I am still a hot Carmen no matter how old I am.
I think I'm really past the age when I care who knows how old I am. I mean 60 is a big number, and being able to sound as fresh and young as I do at my age is something to be proud of, not something to hide.
If I were, say, 42, and still hanging on by my fingernails hoping for a big break, knowing I was competing with people ten years younger, it might be another story. But at my age who cares? No one is going to "hire" me for money to sing anything and in fact no matter how good I sound no one is even going to cast me in any of the "emerging pro" performances (unless it's a character my age, in which case my age shouldn't matter).
I think I'm as sexy a Carmen as women half my age.
I mean I see so many women my age who obviously have just "given up". It isn't a question of God-given body size or shape, it's a question of attitude. I see these women (there are a lot of them in offices) who are either never-married or divorced or married for decades and what's the new acronym - DINS (that stands for double income, no sex). They have bad posture from sitting at a desk all day and walk like they're uncomfortable with their bodies. I am not like that. I remember reading somewhere that if you're over 50 sexuality is supposed to be "a giggle". Hello??? Not for this sexy sexagenarian. I take myself very seriously as a seductress. That's why Carmen and Dalila are my favorite roles. (Not to mention that the famous arias don't have any scary high notes.)
So in any event I just let it rip and had fun tonight "doing" Carmen.
Of course no matter how well I sing most of the people sing better. There was one young woman who sounded glorious, who is auditioning for a company that not only threw my audition materials in the garbage, but whose "head" called me up and insulted me for even sending them. Was that really necessary?
And of course this woman could just soar up into the vocal stratosphere with no fears at all!
It never ceases to amaze me that there are all these people (sopranos) for whom high notes hold no terrors. They may be afraid of long phrases, the passagio break, French, or forgetting their music, but not of a high C and certainly not of a high B!
Speaking of which that deadly phrase in the Amneris/Radames duet is getting easier and easier. I just pretend I'm singing the one in the Judgment Scene that's one half step lower!!
So tomorrow it's on to sing the alto part in a Bach cantata. At least it has a decent range (sort of) and lots of long phrases requiring good breath control, which I have.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Anatomy of a Phrase
In the middle of having a so-so lesson on Friday (I panicked before the deadly phrase with the B flat, then sang it acceptably twice), I suddenly had an "aha" moment. (Now of course I need to beware of these....I will have one, sing a difficult phrase well, and then find a way to screw myself up again.)
The phrase that's giving me so much trouble is only one half step higher than the phrase toward the end of the Judgment scene where she sings "Ah no, non e, non e un traditor" with the vowel "eh" at one point being sung on an ascending scale up to high A and back down. Which is as easy as rolling out of bed for me. Well, that's an exaggeration. What I mean is I know exactly what to do, what it should feel like, and I do it. So I just need to sing the other phrase the same way!!!.
My teacher keeps saying (and this has now been borne out by the last two posts by the great Toreador Song)that a low larynx will never fail me. Any silly tricks I use to try to "save my voice" will just make everything close up. So yesterday in my bathroom I sang the bloody thing three times and it never snafu'd.
1. Take a big breath through my mouth (if I breathe through my nose it has to cut through all that sinus junk and things tighten up).
2. Leave my throat position where it is.
3. Sing a dark awww vowel and just let the scale progress upwards (while I think downwards) and forward, having faith that the bloody note will be there. I mean it's just a half a step past my comfort zone. One tiny little half a step!
Must try again later this afternoon.
The phrase that's giving me so much trouble is only one half step higher than the phrase toward the end of the Judgment scene where she sings "Ah no, non e, non e un traditor" with the vowel "eh" at one point being sung on an ascending scale up to high A and back down. Which is as easy as rolling out of bed for me. Well, that's an exaggeration. What I mean is I know exactly what to do, what it should feel like, and I do it. So I just need to sing the other phrase the same way!!!.
My teacher keeps saying (and this has now been borne out by the last two posts by the great Toreador Song)that a low larynx will never fail me. Any silly tricks I use to try to "save my voice" will just make everything close up. So yesterday in my bathroom I sang the bloody thing three times and it never snafu'd.
1. Take a big breath through my mouth (if I breathe through my nose it has to cut through all that sinus junk and things tighten up).
2. Leave my throat position where it is.
3. Sing a dark awww vowel and just let the scale progress upwards (while I think downwards) and forward, having faith that the bloody note will be there. I mean it's just a half a step past my comfort zone. One tiny little half a step!
Must try again later this afternoon.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Storm Has Passed
So OK, Gentle Readers. I owe it to you all to let you know I'm feeling a lot better.
First of all, my check came in the mail. The downside of being a freelancer is you never know when you're going to have work and you never know when you're going to get paid for the work that you did. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. Even with all the anxiety, this sure beats the mind-numbing boredom (not to mention all the infantilizing rules) of working in an office, even in a fairly high level job. Believe me, I know.
And second of all, I had a really good practice. Am I really winning the "Battle of the B flat" this time? Well, if nothing else, I am deconstructing this piece way in advance of when I'll have to sing it. When I use some of Agnes Baltsa's tricks, it seems easier. She doesn't take a breath in the middle of the upward progression and she also doesn't sing any words!! Just "Ahh". And she doesn't really do a portamento at the end of the first "Or dal ciel si compira". That's where I was needing a good breath and the portamento didn't allow time for it. Now I have no idea if my teacher will be ok with these tricks, but at least they're helping me get through it. And my voice is a lot more like Baltsa's than like Simionato's or Cossotto's - or Zajick's. I don't have a big chest register and my instrument is more wiry and slender, possibly because however big my hips are on a given year, I have a long narrow head (hence the need for all the big hair).
After singing through the scene beginning at "Ma, s'io ti salva" (which is where you have no breaks) and being happy with it I sang through the Judgment Scene which really, now, is like rolling out of bed.
And I seem to have more stamina singing with the choir. One good thing about having a conservatory-trained soprano sitting next to me (no one else in the section would ever sit next to me - LOL!) is that I can sing with my larynx down and she isn't going to tell me to shut up. Also I can hear her, whether we're singing the same part or she's on soprano 1 and I'm on soprano 2.
One of the pieces we're singing is a spiritual where the whole soprano section sings quite a few high G sharps. Not a difficult note for me but it is if I've got people hocking me to keep the volume down. Also I used to get tired singing in that tessitura but I noticed I didn't last night. So all that is good.
First of all, my check came in the mail. The downside of being a freelancer is you never know when you're going to have work and you never know when you're going to get paid for the work that you did. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. Even with all the anxiety, this sure beats the mind-numbing boredom (not to mention all the infantilizing rules) of working in an office, even in a fairly high level job. Believe me, I know.
And second of all, I had a really good practice. Am I really winning the "Battle of the B flat" this time? Well, if nothing else, I am deconstructing this piece way in advance of when I'll have to sing it. When I use some of Agnes Baltsa's tricks, it seems easier. She doesn't take a breath in the middle of the upward progression and she also doesn't sing any words!! Just "Ahh". And she doesn't really do a portamento at the end of the first "Or dal ciel si compira". That's where I was needing a good breath and the portamento didn't allow time for it. Now I have no idea if my teacher will be ok with these tricks, but at least they're helping me get through it. And my voice is a lot more like Baltsa's than like Simionato's or Cossotto's - or Zajick's. I don't have a big chest register and my instrument is more wiry and slender, possibly because however big my hips are on a given year, I have a long narrow head (hence the need for all the big hair).
After singing through the scene beginning at "Ma, s'io ti salva" (which is where you have no breaks) and being happy with it I sang through the Judgment Scene which really, now, is like rolling out of bed.
And I seem to have more stamina singing with the choir. One good thing about having a conservatory-trained soprano sitting next to me (no one else in the section would ever sit next to me - LOL!) is that I can sing with my larynx down and she isn't going to tell me to shut up. Also I can hear her, whether we're singing the same part or she's on soprano 1 and I'm on soprano 2.
One of the pieces we're singing is a spiritual where the whole soprano section sings quite a few high G sharps. Not a difficult note for me but it is if I've got people hocking me to keep the volume down. Also I used to get tired singing in that tessitura but I noticed I didn't last night. So all that is good.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Domingo & Baltsa in duet act IV from Verdi's Aida
Yes!
1. She was my age when she sang this. In fact, I remember it on tv.
2. She ignores the portamento after the first "si compira", which is an energy drain.
3. She doesn't sing any words on the ascending scale, just "ah" and doesn't take a breath.
4. It's totally awesome.
Happy and Grateful
Today I am very happy and grateful.
First of all, today is 35 years without a drink (since "being on the wagon" is slang for being sober, I couldn't resist the graphic).
It's really hard to fathom. I drank heavily from the age of 18 through a few months past my 25th birthday (during what, if I were young now, would be called my "emerging adulthood").
Drinking wreaked havoc with every area of my life but I in some ways I don't think it did as much damage to me as a singer as the fact that I started smoking at age 14. I started smoking because I thought I was "hugely fat". I was not. I was five foot 6 and my weight fluctuated between 140 and 160. So, ok, at 160 I was too heavy but at 140-150 I wasn't even overweight and had what in the 1940s or 1950s would have been considered a sexy figure.
Ironically, it was not long after I started smoking that people began commenting on what an extraordinary voice I had. I sang in the soprano section of my glee club (because it was easy for me to sing a G or an A - still is, but not higher) and sounded like Julie Andrews with the volume ramped way up. I began to toy with the idea that I could be a singer, however I simply could not give up the demon weed. Not long after that I began drinking (and stuffing my face with just about anything else I could find - except LSD, which I had heard could make you crazy for life).
I stopped drinking a few months after my 25th birthday and about a year later stopped smoking (the first time). After that I started studying voice with the teacher I'm studying with today (before that I had done a brief stint as a chorister and cover for the lead contralto in a Gilbert & Sullivan troupe)and kept singing better and better over the next four years. I stopped at 30 (I've written quite a bit about this - my choice was based on a need for a more regular income, wanting to go to college at night, and my partner's dislike of my involvement with an avocational activity where there were too many straight men) and then went right back to smoking.
Fortunately, not for very long, since a woman who was my age (32) had died of lung cancer, which scared me. Also, just as I was told that "dykes don't sing opera" I was also told that "self-loving dykes don't smoke", which, I guess, helped. Although I never went back to singing - not until I was 54.
Although I wanted to smoke every single day up until I began singing again, fortunately, I have never wanted to drink after about the first year.
No matter how much I kvetch, I am very blessed. I am extremely healthy for someone of 60, and, at the same weight and height I was at 12, where I was teased for being fat, I am considered "curvy and trim" compared to most women my age. I have someone who adores me, even though she lives with many mental and physical (and financial) challenges, and the privilege of being able to work freelance and get health insurance for my former employer, who considers me a "retiree".
And I'm singing better and better. Yes, I often feel envious, sad, and self-hating because I buckled under to pressure and never went back to singing until I was seduced into it by The Mentor Who Shall Not Be Discussed, but I have what I have now. I am getting to learn one of my dream roles (Amneris) and even if I will probably never have the stamina (or a decent C flat) to sing the whole opera I can sing various scenes in concerts, which I am signed up to do over the next year.
While we're on that subject, I had a really good runthrough of the duet yesterday, beginning with "L'abborita rival". Yes, singing that upward progression on one breath with my mouth closed at the beginning, is the key.
Then I went with my partner to see My Dog Tulip and came back to her house to see our beloved Dachshund, who is getting better every day!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Continuing to Slog Along
Yesterday I had a lesson and didn't really sing all that well. It's unusual for me not to sing as well at a lesson as I do at home, but maybe I was just tired. It was in the mid-80s and very humid. And I had had a busy day beforehand.
I am still struggling with "Chi ti Salva". It seems that no matter what approach I try, what technique I use, blah, blah, blah, singing B flats (never mind anything higher, which I wouldn't attempt in public) is just bloody hard and sometimes the note is there, sometimes not.
I thought I had gotten past that when I did so well with "O Ma Lyre Immortelle". I always nailed that B flat at the end, even if it was just a scream on pitch.
The problem with this scene seems to be when I start at the beginning. So after 45 minutes of hard work on exercises, my teacher made me begin at the very beginning, with "L'abborita rival". And then he went over a lot of it with a fine tooth comb. He says he is now acting as a coach not just a teacher and he wants to make sure everything is stylistically correct. So we went back over a lot of the phrases and did them several times. I mean there's nothing up until "Chi ti salva" that's vocally difficult, but it is a lot of singing.
So when we got to "Chi ti salva" I literally could not sing that note - it was in danger of being a hideous yell. That scares me. I can't risk ever singing like that in public. Well, I don't have to think about it. I have until April to get this in shape and on a day I would be singing it in public I would be well rested and I would know exactly what I was doing every minute.
My teacher didn't seem to think it was serious. He said some of the problem is I'm still learning the piece, fumbling for notes, words, etc.
Then we tried something different. I realized I never have trouble singing long scales. In fact I can usually do those up to a C. And when I've felt like interpolating a B flat as part of a run in "Rejoice Greatly" it has not been that hard (I usually don't bother). So I've decided to approach that progression by not taking a breath and just starting "Or dal ciel" on the C and not breathing until I've gone up and back. If I keep my mouth closed up until the G I will save my energy.
Oh, I totally forgot. I had mentioned "cheating" a while ago. My teacher said that's a no no.
I mean the thing is bloody hard. There's no place to take a rest beginning at "Ma, s'io ti salva" and it's heavy singing going on from that.
My teacher and I also talked about strength, girth, and stamina. He referred to me as "small" which makes me laugh since I'm 5 3.5 and weigh 143. As far as BMI is concerned I'm on the borderline for being overweight. My teacher said singers don't need to be "fat" but most good singers, certainly with big voices, have a lot of muscle mass around the middle, like Dolora Zajick.
In other news, I have been watching the US Open. I am not a big sports fan but I love women's tennis and also listening to talk about how athletes train and isolate weaknesses and train over and over to improve a skill is very inspirational to me working on my voice. I may be old, tired, weak(er - compared to younger singers with years of training) but I can work and work and work and perfect my art until I drop dead, if that's what I want to do.
I am still struggling with "Chi ti Salva". It seems that no matter what approach I try, what technique I use, blah, blah, blah, singing B flats (never mind anything higher, which I wouldn't attempt in public) is just bloody hard and sometimes the note is there, sometimes not.
I thought I had gotten past that when I did so well with "O Ma Lyre Immortelle". I always nailed that B flat at the end, even if it was just a scream on pitch.
The problem with this scene seems to be when I start at the beginning. So after 45 minutes of hard work on exercises, my teacher made me begin at the very beginning, with "L'abborita rival". And then he went over a lot of it with a fine tooth comb. He says he is now acting as a coach not just a teacher and he wants to make sure everything is stylistically correct. So we went back over a lot of the phrases and did them several times. I mean there's nothing up until "Chi ti salva" that's vocally difficult, but it is a lot of singing.
So when we got to "Chi ti salva" I literally could not sing that note - it was in danger of being a hideous yell. That scares me. I can't risk ever singing like that in public. Well, I don't have to think about it. I have until April to get this in shape and on a day I would be singing it in public I would be well rested and I would know exactly what I was doing every minute.
My teacher didn't seem to think it was serious. He said some of the problem is I'm still learning the piece, fumbling for notes, words, etc.
Then we tried something different. I realized I never have trouble singing long scales. In fact I can usually do those up to a C. And when I've felt like interpolating a B flat as part of a run in "Rejoice Greatly" it has not been that hard (I usually don't bother). So I've decided to approach that progression by not taking a breath and just starting "Or dal ciel" on the C and not breathing until I've gone up and back. If I keep my mouth closed up until the G I will save my energy.
Oh, I totally forgot. I had mentioned "cheating" a while ago. My teacher said that's a no no.
I mean the thing is bloody hard. There's no place to take a rest beginning at "Ma, s'io ti salva" and it's heavy singing going on from that.
My teacher and I also talked about strength, girth, and stamina. He referred to me as "small" which makes me laugh since I'm 5 3.5 and weigh 143. As far as BMI is concerned I'm on the borderline for being overweight. My teacher said singers don't need to be "fat" but most good singers, certainly with big voices, have a lot of muscle mass around the middle, like Dolora Zajick.
In other news, I have been watching the US Open. I am not a big sports fan but I love women's tennis and also listening to talk about how athletes train and isolate weaknesses and train over and over to improve a skill is very inspirational to me working on my voice. I may be old, tired, weak(er - compared to younger singers with years of training) but I can work and work and work and perfect my art until I drop dead, if that's what I want to do.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
When in Doubt, Cheat
"Chi ti salva" is coming along, I think. No squawks this afternoon. And I sang some big ringing high B flats that surprised me (big, dark, larynx down, but with a lot of top spin).
Picking the piece apart, I decided the problem was that it keeps going and there's no place to take a decent breath. I mean the whole way the phrase is traditionally sung is a "cheat". The phrase is really supposed to begin on "Or dal ciel" with the word "ciel" continuing for the rest of the bloody progression. I mean who knows where you were really supposed to breathe? The standard "cheat" is to sing "Or dal ciel", take a breath after the E natural, and then go from the F to the G to the B flat down to the A flat and then take another breath. I think gulping for air was what caused my throat to close up. So I tried just not singing the bloody F, using that moment to take a good breath, and then singing the G, the B flat, and the A flat, made a world of difference. I sang the phrase here there and elsewhere and the worst I got was once it went "straight" but "straight" is better than a squawk. I've heard Borodina and others come out with a straight screamy B flat or B natural and live to see the next day.
So it's a work in progress.
I was supposed to have a lesson today but my teacher canceled because the plumber was there and as he put it "the plumber was banging and the dogs were barking, hardly conducive to giving singing lessons" and he thought this might be going on for several days. So we rescheduled for Friday.
Now I'm going to take a serious look at the duet with Aida, which should be fun since the highest note I have to sing is an A flat. There the challenge will be staying on the bottom part while a large voiced soprano is wailing up in the stratosphere. Some singers are natural harmonizers. I am not.
Then later I think I'll crack the Italian dictionary and do some translating. I think I know what she's singing most of the time but I need to understand every word.
Lastly, I ordered myself a score of La Gioconda. Since I'm now working on the entire role more or less, I am tired of singing from xeroxes. Needless to say when I stopped singing at 30 I gave away or sold all my scores.
Picking the piece apart, I decided the problem was that it keeps going and there's no place to take a decent breath. I mean the whole way the phrase is traditionally sung is a "cheat". The phrase is really supposed to begin on "Or dal ciel" with the word "ciel" continuing for the rest of the bloody progression. I mean who knows where you were really supposed to breathe? The standard "cheat" is to sing "Or dal ciel", take a breath after the E natural, and then go from the F to the G to the B flat down to the A flat and then take another breath. I think gulping for air was what caused my throat to close up. So I tried just not singing the bloody F, using that moment to take a good breath, and then singing the G, the B flat, and the A flat, made a world of difference. I sang the phrase here there and elsewhere and the worst I got was once it went "straight" but "straight" is better than a squawk. I've heard Borodina and others come out with a straight screamy B flat or B natural and live to see the next day.
So it's a work in progress.
I was supposed to have a lesson today but my teacher canceled because the plumber was there and as he put it "the plumber was banging and the dogs were barking, hardly conducive to giving singing lessons" and he thought this might be going on for several days. So we rescheduled for Friday.
Now I'm going to take a serious look at the duet with Aida, which should be fun since the highest note I have to sing is an A flat. There the challenge will be staying on the bottom part while a large voiced soprano is wailing up in the stratosphere. Some singers are natural harmonizers. I am not.
Then later I think I'll crack the Italian dictionary and do some translating. I think I know what she's singing most of the time but I need to understand every word.
Lastly, I ordered myself a score of La Gioconda. Since I'm now working on the entire role more or less, I am tired of singing from xeroxes. Needless to say when I stopped singing at 30 I gave away or sold all my scores.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
On the Right Track
Why is it that I always forget that if I want to sing well in this new fach that I've sort of fallen into, I have to monitor every note I sing and everything I do, particularly what I eat and don't eat, how much rest I get, and how much (and how) I talk.
For the past several weeks now, we haven't had any gas to cook with (details over at "the other place" because it involves money and an adversarial relationship). So my main protein staple, fish, is impossible to cook for myself. It's a bummer because now that I'm an underemployed freelancer, I had been trying to cook at home to save money. I do live around the corner from Gourmet Garage, which has a lot of prepared foods that are not that expensive, but they haven't had much fish. So I was eating a lot of ravioli and manicotti with cheese. Eating this high a percentage of carbohydrate really saps my energy. It's not something I would notice if I weren't singing material written for a voice (like mine) that's huge and requires major support, but I can really tell when I don't have that extra oomph (and with out it, sweetie, those B flats ain't happening). Anyhow, yesterday I really lucked out and bought some prepared tilapia (I know a woman I respect enormously, both re: singing and nutrition says tilapia tastes like papers towels, but nevertheless, I really like it)and had it for lunch two days running and last night I had some more tilapia (cooked from scratch) at my partner's house.
I also have been sleeping better since the little dachshund isn't in danger of death, just needs to be confined and not handled (which is very hard for everyone).
So today I cautiously attacked "Chi ti salva". First I just sang that section and that note was ok-ish. Ditto singing beginning with "Ma s'io ti salva, giurami". Then I started from the very beginning of the scene ("L'abborita rivale a me sfuggia"). I watched every single note and allowed myself all breaks. One important thing I have to do is not be lazy about the recits. If I am lazy either by singing too bombastically or too softly, my larynx is not in the right place. So in any event I got through the first B flat just barely (it was straight, and not held for one second more than the note value) but I decided to move on and of course in the reprise it was glorious, ditto when I made myself sing again from "Chi ti salva".
So how do I sing like that all the time??? I wish I knew. I will have a big confab with my teacher about it Tuesday. We can focus on this because since I liked how the Judgment Scene sounded I can give it a rest for a few weeks.
Then I did some work on the Dalila and Daddy duet, again, not letting myself get funky with it.
I don't know where my bad habit of getting "funky" (by which I mean singing too loud in the chest register, dropping the volume suddenly here and there, like a jazz singer, playing with the words in ways that are not vocally healthy) came from. I never sang jazz or pop, just Gilbert and Sullivan. Possibly it's because very early on, when I was a heavy smoker, I sang easy things (meaning nothing that went above an F or F sharp) and fooled around with the sex, the drama, the comedy, whatever, and people were forgiving because I was young and svelte and had a lot of chutzpah. So it's easy to slip back into that sort of pattern particularly singing Dalila, who has very little to sing that's vocally challenging other than two exposed high B flats and a bit of monologue in the Third Act.
I was very pleased with how I handled this issue in the Judgment Scene - namely, observing the dynamic markings to a T and that's it!! No getting "emo" as the young people say. So I need to revisit the score of Samson et Dalila and look at the dynamic markings in the same way. The roulade (AKA the "battle cry") in the duet is sounding more under control.
For the past several weeks now, we haven't had any gas to cook with (details over at "the other place" because it involves money and an adversarial relationship). So my main protein staple, fish, is impossible to cook for myself. It's a bummer because now that I'm an underemployed freelancer, I had been trying to cook at home to save money. I do live around the corner from Gourmet Garage, which has a lot of prepared foods that are not that expensive, but they haven't had much fish. So I was eating a lot of ravioli and manicotti with cheese. Eating this high a percentage of carbohydrate really saps my energy. It's not something I would notice if I weren't singing material written for a voice (like mine) that's huge and requires major support, but I can really tell when I don't have that extra oomph (and with out it, sweetie, those B flats ain't happening). Anyhow, yesterday I really lucked out and bought some prepared tilapia (I know a woman I respect enormously, both re: singing and nutrition says tilapia tastes like papers towels, but nevertheless, I really like it)and had it for lunch two days running and last night I had some more tilapia (cooked from scratch) at my partner's house.
I also have been sleeping better since the little dachshund isn't in danger of death, just needs to be confined and not handled (which is very hard for everyone).
So today I cautiously attacked "Chi ti salva". First I just sang that section and that note was ok-ish. Ditto singing beginning with "Ma s'io ti salva, giurami". Then I started from the very beginning of the scene ("L'abborita rivale a me sfuggia"). I watched every single note and allowed myself all breaks. One important thing I have to do is not be lazy about the recits. If I am lazy either by singing too bombastically or too softly, my larynx is not in the right place. So in any event I got through the first B flat just barely (it was straight, and not held for one second more than the note value) but I decided to move on and of course in the reprise it was glorious, ditto when I made myself sing again from "Chi ti salva".
So how do I sing like that all the time??? I wish I knew. I will have a big confab with my teacher about it Tuesday. We can focus on this because since I liked how the Judgment Scene sounded I can give it a rest for a few weeks.
Then I did some work on the Dalila and Daddy duet, again, not letting myself get funky with it.
I don't know where my bad habit of getting "funky" (by which I mean singing too loud in the chest register, dropping the volume suddenly here and there, like a jazz singer, playing with the words in ways that are not vocally healthy) came from. I never sang jazz or pop, just Gilbert and Sullivan. Possibly it's because very early on, when I was a heavy smoker, I sang easy things (meaning nothing that went above an F or F sharp) and fooled around with the sex, the drama, the comedy, whatever, and people were forgiving because I was young and svelte and had a lot of chutzpah. So it's easy to slip back into that sort of pattern particularly singing Dalila, who has very little to sing that's vocally challenging other than two exposed high B flats and a bit of monologue in the Third Act.
I was very pleased with how I handled this issue in the Judgment Scene - namely, observing the dynamic markings to a T and that's it!! No getting "emo" as the young people say. So I need to revisit the score of Samson et Dalila and look at the dynamic markings in the same way. The roulade (AKA the "battle cry") in the duet is sounding more under control.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Back in the Saddle
Well, after hearing two glorious dramatic sopranos yesterday, and not having any paying work to do, I was inspired enough to do a serious practice.
The high B flat in the first round of "Chi ti salva" is so not good. It's fine if I just sing a little chunk leading up to it (that's why it's easier the second time) but today I tried singing the scene from the beginning (not really difficult up to that point, and to me the passage "e patria, e trono, e trono, e vita, tutto darei per te" is one of the most achingly beautiful things to sing). Well, I think a lot of the recitative sections, which seem to contain a lot of hard consonants, just tire me out, so I need to figure out a strategy. Also singing the word "vendetta" is not great for keeping the voice in a comfortable spot for soaring upwards. Yes, I sang a couple of drop dead B flats a la Simionato, but it's still a crap shoot. So ok, I have until next April or May to get this in shape. But learning a new piece is one thing, singing a note that has terrified me for 35 years is another.
Another thing I did that I probably shouldn't have was go through the Dalila and Daddy duet with the recording to check my entrances. Most of Dalila is easy to sing incorrectly - there's always the temptation to croon the sexy parts and bellow the angry parts, particularly in the beginning where it's in a very low tessitura. I am convinced now that Sir Arthur Sullivan had the Vengeance Duet in mind when he wrote "So go to him and say to him" from Patience. It's a duet between two comic characters - Bunthorne (a send-up of Oscar Wilde) and Lady Jane, one of his middle aged admirers. I sang Lady Jane when I was 22 and smoking like a chimney (complete with body padding because she sings about being "stout" and at that time I was five foot six, 125 pounds thanks to the appetite suppressant benefits of good old nicotine). In any event, singing that duet from Samson et Dalila it's easy to slip into G&S style patter which isn't great for the voice, either.
So ok. Now it's off to visit my little Dachshund and assemble a "pup tent" for him.
Tomorrow I will do the piece again. The Mentor (Who Shall Not Be Discussed) always told me it was good to learn a piece backwards, particularly if the ending is the hardest part. (My current teacher actually told me something similar....to isolate the difficult section and keep singing it by itself until it was comfortable.) I also need to pinpoint all the bad habits that creep in during those preceding pages.
The high B flat in the first round of "Chi ti salva" is so not good. It's fine if I just sing a little chunk leading up to it (that's why it's easier the second time) but today I tried singing the scene from the beginning (not really difficult up to that point, and to me the passage "e patria, e trono, e trono, e vita, tutto darei per te" is one of the most achingly beautiful things to sing). Well, I think a lot of the recitative sections, which seem to contain a lot of hard consonants, just tire me out, so I need to figure out a strategy. Also singing the word "vendetta" is not great for keeping the voice in a comfortable spot for soaring upwards. Yes, I sang a couple of drop dead B flats a la Simionato, but it's still a crap shoot. So ok, I have until next April or May to get this in shape. But learning a new piece is one thing, singing a note that has terrified me for 35 years is another.
Another thing I did that I probably shouldn't have was go through the Dalila and Daddy duet with the recording to check my entrances. Most of Dalila is easy to sing incorrectly - there's always the temptation to croon the sexy parts and bellow the angry parts, particularly in the beginning where it's in a very low tessitura. I am convinced now that Sir Arthur Sullivan had the Vengeance Duet in mind when he wrote "So go to him and say to him" from Patience. It's a duet between two comic characters - Bunthorne (a send-up of Oscar Wilde) and Lady Jane, one of his middle aged admirers. I sang Lady Jane when I was 22 and smoking like a chimney (complete with body padding because she sings about being "stout" and at that time I was five foot six, 125 pounds thanks to the appetite suppressant benefits of good old nicotine). In any event, singing that duet from Samson et Dalila it's easy to slip into G&S style patter which isn't great for the voice, either.
So ok. Now it's off to visit my little Dachshund and assemble a "pup tent" for him.
Tomorrow I will do the piece again. The Mentor (Who Shall Not Be Discussed) always told me it was good to learn a piece backwards, particularly if the ending is the hardest part. (My current teacher actually told me something similar....to isolate the difficult section and keep singing it by itself until it was comfortable.) I also need to pinpoint all the bad habits that creep in during those preceding pages.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Amneris Take 2, or All's Well that Ends Well
I had a horrible night last night - woke up at 2:30 and didn't get back to sleep until 5, but I guess I made up for it by sleeping until 10. It took me a long time to warm up (I was really scared - it had been a long time since it had been that hard for me to sing light "bloos" up to a G) but after a cheese omelette and a slow morning (I also had a piece of fresh salmon on a sandwich and went light on the coffee) I did a good warmup up to a B and in any event the ending to the Judgment Scene went like a house afire. I think I really have stumbled upon something new where I can sing those top As big, fat, and round, with a lot of topspin.
And we sang the s**t out of the piece at this afternoon's little concert. The woman hosting it was lovely, her apartment is gorgeous, and the other performers were really nice and interesting. I felt good about how I sounded (and how my bass colleague sounded) and people gave me lots of compliments. Here are a few:
The role is perfect for you. Have you sung it anywhere? Do you know it?
You are so dramatic! (That's thanks to my observing the dynamic markings to a T. I didn't really do any acting since we were singing from books, other than raising my fist in the air and then collapsing in grief (after I had sung the last note).
You have a magnificent voice.
Well, I've waited 40 years for this. I just wish I felt this was "going" somewhere. I never forget that the clock is ticking faster and faster.
And we sang the s**t out of the piece at this afternoon's little concert. The woman hosting it was lovely, her apartment is gorgeous, and the other performers were really nice and interesting. I felt good about how I sounded (and how my bass colleague sounded) and people gave me lots of compliments. Here are a few:
The role is perfect for you. Have you sung it anywhere? Do you know it?
You are so dramatic! (That's thanks to my observing the dynamic markings to a T. I didn't really do any acting since we were singing from books, other than raising my fist in the air and then collapsing in grief (after I had sung the last note).
You have a magnificent voice.
Well, I've waited 40 years for this. I just wish I felt this was "going" somewhere. I never forget that the clock is ticking faster and faster.
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