And the Work Goes On

Yesterday I spoke on the phone with the woman producing the Hispanic Heritage Concert and told her I would be coming back to her get-togethers some time next week, if she was having one.  I said I was working on the Manuel Garcia songs.

I took them to my lesson yesterday and worked especially on some of the melismatic passages.  I know that for most of the songs I will be expected to use correct Spanish diction (including pronunciation of the vowels) which is fine, but I intend to beg off for the high trilling in the "Contrabandera" song.

Dare I say that I think I may finally have made some kind of breakthrough with using the "h" sound to begin all the exercises?  I am still not vocalizing above a B, but certainly the G, A flat, A natural, and even the B flat are much bigger and fuller, and there is much less tension in my voice overall.

My teacher is going to be singing Alvise in a concert production of La Gioconda (in years past he sang Enzo) so he said I should take a look at that duet again so that I can sing it at my next lesson.  Here's a peek at what it sounds and looks like (let's hear it for sexy bodice rippers as well as for singing!)

http://youtu.be/gg_wpIu13wM

This entire role is tailor made for my voice, even moreso than Verdi, because it is a little lighter and sits higher, but has no strenuous high singing.  There is one B flat at the beginning that is in the middle of an arpeggio-like progression, three or four As (mostly in the first half of the opera) and that's it!  And she gets lots of breaks.  And of course gets to look luscious and have two guys chasing her.  Probably the hottest mezzo role after Dalila and Carmen, except that she is a sympathetic figure.

You can read more here.

I mean there is not a prayer in Hell that I will get to sing the role in this concert as it is triple cast already (there will be 5 or 6 performances of it in different locations) but if I keep it fresh, who knows?

Lastly, I think the videos from Carmen may finally be available soon.  The man who took them is having a hard time uploading them to Youtube, but he is still working on it.

The Work Goes On....

After I made my last blog entry, I had a fabulous runthrough of the Amneris/Radames duet, including the dreaded high B flats.  Yes, OK, I took a brief pause to focus myself before that ascending passage, but I did it.

This made me both happy and sad.  I was happy because as I was singing through the duet (and most of the duet, in fact most of the role is tailor made for my voice) I got a glimpse of what I could/should sound like, in fact would have sounded like if I had begun at the beginning and moved into this repertoire at an age when I could devote myself to it.  This is what I should be singing, give or take a few outlier notes that are very hard to acquire at my age.  But no one is going to (I am not going to use the word "hire" and am groping for another one) invite (by which I mean ask me to sing on their dime in a situation where they do all the organizing) me to sing this repertoire anywhere.  I don't even think I would be considered good enough to sing it at SingThrough Central, based on who sings there. (The woman who sang Carmen has sung with the Met Chorus, for example). And at my age I am not spending one penny to sing a comprimaria role in a venue like that.  And although at the pay to sing group that my teacher is involved with I have heard some singers in big roles who do not sound as good as I do (meaning their intonation is faulty), for some mysterious reason, they can nonetheless hoist their voices up to those B flats and B naturals even if (in the case of one mezzo I can think of) the B flat is really in that quarter tone limbo between an A natural and a B flat.

So I am left with what people are likely to want me to sing.  Several people have told me what I should be singing is Spanish art songs (sacred or otherwise).  What is meant, I think, is that those sit in my upper middle register where my voice is clearest and most comfortable, and most of these do not go above a high G or below middle C.

So how can I be saying two conflicting things?  Well, they aren't really.  There's what my voice was made to sing in ideal circumstances, if I had had the right training and had been able to devote myself to building my physical stamina and increasing my range (both things that could have been done, and can sorta kinda be done now but not to the necessary extent).  Then there's what I always can sing, pleasantly and comfortably with enough polish never to offend, but with nothing to wow! either.

That means church solos that can create a pleasant mood for communion (or - on rare occasion - some Bach in a range that will not get too loud) and some nice songs that can be sung in the classical vein with a nice line and with thoughtful interpretation, in a concert with other people of all ages and abilities.

In real world terms, what that means is that I am now putting Amneris aside to work on the songs by Manuel Garcia.  There's one, http://youtu.be/6BNFOWeWu44 "yo que soy contrabandista" that requires a lot of fast singing, with diction forward.  And trilling.  Basically the same skills I used to sing "Chanson Boheme".  I hope to get a spot in the Hispanic Heritage concert, which is not guaranteed.  If I can get some interesting instrumental accompaniment it should be fun.  And I can wear something flashy.

And One *BIG* Thing

The concert version of Carmen that I had wanted to produce, in which sung scenes from the opera will be interspersed with readings from the book, is now definitely happening.  I have selected several tentative dates in May.  The woman who produced the 9/11 concert, the Spanish song coach, will sponsor me to produce this in the performance venue in her building.  She is totally supportive of it.  Maybe now I have a real mentor?

First, a tenor.  I will ask the tenor from my Requiem first.  I will wait until next week, when he is finished with his performance of Un Ballo in Maschera.  If he wants to do more singing and find me a Micaela that will be great, although she is not in the book.  Once he lets me know if/when he is available I can set a date.  If he is not interested or available I have another list of tenors.  Once I have a tenor I will firm up the date, and can work everything else around this.

My "sponsor" recommended an accompanist.  I have heard him play for her when she has performed, and he is quite good.  I will see if he is available.

Next, I will look for a reader.  Sponsor gave me some suggestions, which I will follow up on.

She also said I could sing something from Carmen at her Spanish music concert, which now will probably be in June.  I could sing the "Habanera" and the song by Manuel Garcia, which inspired it.


I am really excited about this.

In other news, Sponsor is having a workshop next week, to which I will bring "Cant deis Aucells" and "Nun Wandre Maria".  Once the holidays are over I can bring some of the Carmen material to any workshops she has.  I even think I may be able to sing the B in the "Seguidilla".  I only have to hold it a nanosecond.

Lastly, The Mentor now seems to have changed his name.  Or he seems to have two names.  Would love to know the story behind this but of course there's no way for me to find out.

A Few More Small Things

(I think I made a post called "A Few Small Things" not too long ago.)

Since I have cut myself off from a lot of the singing blogosphere, I have noticed I feel a lot better, am still making vocal progress, can pick up repertoire tips where I find them, but have a lot less to say.  Which is probably not a bad thing.

I am still upset that the choir director seems to assign solos to other people but never to me, on the other hand, if I choose one he usually finds a spot for it, or if he doesn't care for it, for something else.

He already started handing out music for Advent (although not a schedule) so I asked him about singing "Nun Wandre Maria" on Magnificat Sunday or the following Sunday and he said he would take a look at it.  If not, maybe I can sing Saint Saens "Patiently I Have Waited for the Lord" again.  It is a sort of "all purpose" number that would be appropriate.  And I can sing the Nin song during Epiphany.  I will sing it at the Spanish service.  It refers to Jesus being born, so is not suitable for Advent.

The tenor who sang in my Requiem is singing the tenor lead in the production of Un Ballo in Maschera that I auditioned for.  I don't know if I mentioned this, but he is in the Met chorus.  I checked to see who is singing Ulrica and it is someone my teacher knows (she sang Dalila in the concert version of Samson et Dalila that he was supposed to sing it, and then didn't because of illness).  I remember his saying she was quite good.  And I doubt she is even 40.  At my next lesson I will ask him, from a vocal standpoint, what he feels she has that I don't (other than youth - hardly a requirement for singing Ulrica - and, no doubt, a lot more experience).

So this is the problem.  No matter how well I sing, even a role that is age appropriate, there is this whole layer of unemployed professional sounding, well educated, singers who are 20 years younger (and then some) with impressive CVs and I will never crack through that.  And even if I sound better this year than last year, I am getting older and falling farther behind.

So I will focus on my Spanish songs.  I have noticed that the Spanish arts seem to be less ageist than most.  I mean one of the most renowned (and regularly performing) Spanish dancers, Pilar Rioja, is almost 80.

Once the schedule is out for Advent, I will remind the choir director about singing something, and will give the music for "El Cant dels Aucells" to the accompanist for the Spanish service, and settle on a date for it.

Once I have a date on my calendar to sing something I will feel more connected.

Memories, Addictions, and Plans

I haven't written anything here for a while, partly because my modem was out for five days, so I couldn't access this site (I'm not adept enough to do anything more complex than a simple Google search on my smart phone), and partly because nothing has been going on.

Today brought back some memories.  I have written ad nauseum about my "discovery" by the Mentor, which I link to Valentine's Day of 2004, but actually, this journey began with my singing Dido's Lament on the "Day of the Dead" service at the Unitarian Church on October 31, 2003.

That was the first time I had sung a solo piece in public in 23 years.  That was when I developed a belief in God, which I had never had before, even after, at that point, 28 years in 12 step programs.  I think I believed that if I got my voice back (it was not 100% secure, but it was pure and true, and in the classical style) in God's house meant that s/he must really be there.  I had fantasized about singing, dreamed (as in what happens when one is asleep) about singing, fooled around with singing (I even screamed my way through "Condotta" once for someone's entertainment, probably in the mid 90s or thereabouts), but I had never stood up and really sung.  And it gave me a rush that I wanted to feel again.  The singing, the mastery of a difficult task, the applause, the compliments.

So is this an addiction?

I have recently gone back to AA meetings, not because I was worried about drinking, but because I wanted to be around people who had more serious problems and more difficult lives than I do, and get a different perspective. Alas, I don't get that perspective in church, despite their serving meals for the poor and taking Christian charity very seriously, because the poor and those employed in drudgery seem to be "other", not congregants, or at least they're not the congregants I meet in the choir or at the free classical music concerts I attend.

So of course the subject of the Fourth Step has come up.

I feel at an impasse with this.  I am not starting from ground zero, I am not recently recovered from drinking or another uncontrollable addiction.  Is my desire to get attention from an audience an addiction?  Here is where I am not clear.  There is an inappropriate kind of self-centeredness, one that harms or attempts to deprive others, but to some extent this is just a personality trait, as I wrote about here.

Is the fact that I am happier as a solo singer, even in the humblest of venues, than I am as a choral singer, a character flaw?  I would hardly think so.  Is the fact that I like applause and compliments a character flaw?  I have worked really really really hard this past nine years and would like some time in the spotlight, and some appreciation.

Is it a character flaw that I am less happy singing with the choir now that there is this influx of "emerging pros" from conservatories?

Being bitter is a character flaw, and I am trying to be less bitter.  There is no point to it anyhow.  If I feel underappreciated I can work harder and/or find someplace to sing where there is less talent and I can shine more (and have more solo opportunities).

So what's next?

When the Advent Season schedule comes out I am going to ask the choir director (via email) if I can sing "Nun Wandre Maria" on Magnificat Sunday (or something else on another Sunday, but right now I'm drawing a blank, as all my music seems to be for that day or for Christmas).  If I don't get a solo spot in one of the regular services before 2013 is over, I will see if I can sing the Bach Gounod "Ave Maria" in the Spanish service.  They like things in Latin, and I hear now that there are at least 40 people at each service, sometimes more.  I am pretty sure I will be singing one of the Nin songs (I am looking at "El Cant deis Aucells", which is an homage to Debussy, and refers to the birth of Jesus) at one of the Spanish services during Epiphany, if not on Epiphany itself.  One of the pianists for that service said "we are always happy to have you".  And if the Spanish woman produces a Christmas/Holiday concert I will sing in it whatever day it is unless I have a solo at the church.

And then there's Carmen.  Next week I am going to start planning about doing that in the Spring, unless the Spanish music concert is definite.  The Sequidilla and the Chanson Boheme are sounding much better.  Learning how to flip my tongue around an "l" without tiring my jaw has made all the difference.

Suddenly Spanish?

Last night I sang at the Hispanic Heritage Month get together held by the woman who produced the September 11 concert.

It turned out there were only two other people there: one singer (female) and one actor (male).

I have mostly good things to report. First of all, I can see that I have a real affinity for Spanish classical song.  The organizer (who is of Spanish descent and is a specialist in this repertoire) gave me a book of classical Spanish songs to look at (which contains a song by Manuel Garcia, which was the song that inspired Bizet's "Habanera".)

Most of these songs sit in an upper middle register, which is where my voice is strongest, have a lot of melismatic passages (something I sing well), pretty much no sustained high notes, and nothing below middle C.  So they are tailor made for my strengths and avoid my weaknesses.

The organizer also gave me the name of a book to read, called Spain: The Root and the Flower.

So I ordered both of these items.

What heartens me, is that (albeit in a limited repertoire) I find myself getting the kind of mentoring from this woman that I so desperate yearn for and never got from anyone except The Mentor, who of course ended up being toxic.  She seems to be eager to teach me all sorts of things related to the music I am singing.

The other woman there was a mezzo, a "real" singer, aka someone who sings with these no pay groups, who has an impressive CV filled with apprenticeships, prizes, and plum high profile assignments (even if not for pay) as well as some paid singing.  She is of Hispanic descent and teaches Spanish and Portuguese.  She is certainly very knowledgeable about Spanish and Latin American music, and has a huge voice that can easily sing the music I so long(ed) to sing with a wide range, and a huge sound with much head resonance (although a lot of darkness as well).  She is going to be singing Carmen with one of these pay to sing readthrough groups, having sung Mercedes with another one of these groups (she knows my teacher), easily sailing up to the high C.  So if she is who is paying to sing at these readthroughs, they will never be interested in me.

Maybe I don't have such a big voice after all.  It is certainly loud and it can certainly carry over an orchestra, at least from the middle of the staff up.  (And - shoutout to the choir director - even my lower register could carry well enough above the small chamber orchestra we use for Reformation Sunday in that alto solo that now isn't.)  But it doesn't have a large aureole (this is not a technical term, I know, but I am clear what I mean about it).  It has taken me years to get even the tiniest bit of head resonance and that still is not a lot.  If it is not my past smoking, or my being from New York and spending a lifetime speaking in chest voice, what is it?  My blocked sinuses?  My narrow head and narrow nose?

I mean I do have a "voice" and I will never ever ever give up singing until I die or develop a disability that prevents it, but maybe I will never have the range or the stamina for opera?  I just don't know.  I love it so, but recently I have tried to "unpack" my passionate obsession with singing opera to see exactly what it is that I am so passionate about.  I have a dramatic personality and love the spotlight, which is why singing church music only satisfies me somewhat.  It is beautiful music, but no matter how well I sing it, in that setting other things are always paramount.  Maybe Spanish songs will be the next big thing?  I can dress up and be sexy and sing for audiences and convey drama without overtaxing myself vocally.

The best news of all is that the concert organizer told me that I had "the makings of a fine Spanish music singer".  I am looking forward to her Spring concert.  Probably this other woman won't be interested in it, and even if she is, I am sure there will be room enough for both of us.

A Few Small Things

After posting a comment on a friend's blog, which will link back here, I wanted to make a brief update.

Yesterday I went to a chamber music concert at the church, which featured a mezzo singing Verdi's "Ave Maria with Strings".  This is certainly something I could sing.  This woman has a lovely voice, is beautiful to look at, and has an impressive resume full of singing and performing in wildly diverse genres.  There are dozens of these women all over New York, which is why there is hardly a nook or a cranny so  lowly that is not crowded with them, where I can hardly compete.  I am almost positive that she showed up once at one of these get up and sing meetups, the ones where I felt so outclassed and hence uncomfortable.  (I can't tell if it was she, or another mezzo with the same first name who looks similar, who was at the meetup, but I think it was she; I remembered her smile.)

I was flattered that the choir director (who runs the series and played the piano for another number on the program) spoke to me afterwards and asked me what I thought of the piece.  I said it interested me but I would need a piano accompaniment as I am not going to be able to assemble a whole string quartet!  He said there was a version with a piano accompaniment.  A day or so earlier he had said that he would try to get me a copy.  So at least this means he takes me seriously, which is nice.  This is not something I could ever sing as a church solo because it is too long, and we only sing "Ave Marias" on Magnificat Sunday and on a day like that he wants something a little less somber.  But it is something I could sing someplace.  It didn't sound as if it had a very wide range.

The other thing that pleased me is that the woman who is having the Hispanic Heritage event sent another email in which she mentioned that she is planning a spring concert of Spanish music, and will have several more get togethers so that people can present Spanish songs that they would like to do.  I found at least three in the book of Nin songs (it only contains half of what I thought it would) that I can use.  One is quite high and has a long cadenza, so I will not try to sing it Monday.  The other two will certainly be manageable.  My Spanish pronunciation is improving, if not my translating abilities.  This book has French translations of the songs rather than English ones, but French is the foreign language I know best, so I am able to figure out what most of the songs mean.

Tomorrow is choir practice.  I intend to kick b**t with those low-lying runs in the Handel.  I intend for the years of training that I have, and the hours I put in practicing, to show, whether this is noticed or not.

I am having a tooth pulled in the morning, but was told I should be able to sing easily tomorrow night.

A Happy Holiday?

I am very behind, because my computer crashed and was in the repair shop for two days, so I am behind with work at a time when a lot of other things are going on, but I felt a need to check in.

On the singing front, Sunday I am singing in one of the social outreach Christmas concerts.  I am down to one Nin song and one simple Spanish carol for solos.  Otherwise I am singing some Christmas carols, Chanukah songs, and seasonal pop standards with five other women, sometimes in 2 or 3 part harmony, with each of us having a solo line here and there.

I like the woman running the group but she and my teacher do not see eye to eye about vowels.  I tend to think my teacher is correct, because his take on vowels is similar to The Mentor's, and to a famous Met soprano who was the judge of a big aria competition (I got a grade of 55 out of 100, which certainly let me know where I stood - would probably do better now, but I don't intend to go back).

My teacher says all vowels are to be modified except "ee" and "oo".  Ah is Aw (although I can sing a pure "Ah" if I have to, certainly up to a G).  The killer is "eh" sort of like the e with an acute accent in French.  If you sing it pure it tightens everything.  My teacher, the Mentor, and the choir director all agree it should be more of a schwa sound with an open throat and a dropped jaw: sort of "eh" with a lot of "uh" in it (I hope I am making sense).  Well that is what this woman and I fight over.  I don't mean fight - I am happy to sing the vowel the way she wants, particularly in Spanish songs with a limited range, it just feels unnatural.

Anyhow, it is interesting to get a different perspective.  If I had been a conservatory student I would have been in a lot of these situations and would have had to sort things out and use different techniques for different things.

On the 16th I will be singing Wagner's "Angel" in the church service.  I sound so much better than I did five years ago the last time I performed it in public.  I could tell that the choir director was pleased.  And it will be - I hope - on the church's YouTube channel, which is a new thing for them.

I can also see how much easier certain choral pieces are, for example, Barber's "Sure on this Shining Night" which has a pianissimo high G in it.

I am going to sing "O Holy Night" in the mezzo key at an outreach concert on the 30th.  "The" night will have passed but we will be singing other carols, so it should be ok.  I will brace myself for more feedback about vowels.  I will also try to sing the top G (that's what the high note is in the mezzo version - in the soprano version it's a B flat) lightly, the way I sing the one in the Angel song.

The first Requiem rehearsal went well.  Really the only thing I'm nervous about is that big climax in "Liber Scriptus".  "Lux Aeterna" suits me like a glove.  I muffed a few notes in the ensembles, but will have time to work on them.  The most important thing is for me to be able to sing "against" the soprano and she plans to be at all the rehearsals.  I need to find a bass.  I never heard from my original one.

In other news, my partner and I made a calendar for ourselves out of old pictures from Ogunquit, Maine, our paradise.  Here are several photographs.  The last is where we want our ashes scattered, and I know we will meet there again one day.  In the meantime I hope we can go there for her 80th birthday.

Here is the entrance to our little studio.

Here's the lawn of the main house.

Here's the beach.

This will be our final resting place.


And she will be adopting a cat next weekend.

So our life is good, even without being able to afford presents.

Not Giving Up Today....

I now - for now - seem to be back in the swing of things.  I have three things going on right now: the Christmas concerts, choir (I now have two solos scheduled between now and Epiphany), and the Requiem.

The Christmas concerts have turned out to be a little disappointing.  The pianist is not proficient enough to play the Spanish art songs so instead of singing three I will be singing only one, which the director may very well play herself.  And one Spanish Christmas carol as a solo.  Otherwise it is six women singing Christmas and Chanukah songs in two part harmony.  The director seems to think I am a soprano, which is fine.

I have gotten so much conflicting information about my voice type over the years.  If I can barely reach a high C (and this is something that never changes; all that has changed is that the notes I do have - up to a B - sound better more consistently and I have lost the break I used to have above middle C) I am not a soprano, at least not where opera is concerned.  On the other hand, I am most comfortable singing in the upper middle part of my voice, which means for choral purposes I am a second soprano not an alto.  I would say even for oratorio solo purposes.  I am not someone who sings "O Thou That Tellest Good Tidings to Zion" well.  I sound  much better singing "I Know that My Redeemer Liveth".

But when I posted something about my vocal "sweet spot" (F to F on the staff) on the the Forum, a well-respected voice teacher said that meant I was a "low mezzo". Huh? I think of low mezzos as, well, women who love singing "O Thou that Tellest".

Interestingly, the woman who runs these seasonal concerts is always telling me to sing "brighter" vowels, while my teacher tells me to sing "darker" vowels.  Both of them want my voice to be freer, so who is right?  I know when I first started studying I had been artificially "whitening" my voice to sound like a soprano (what I call my "fake Julie Andrews voice", which actually serves me quite well up to a G or G sharp but does not easily go higher) which my teacher said was choking off the higher notes by making them "spread".  Although now I find if I sing "happy", on some of the high climaxes (involving As and A flats) it makes those notes easier.

And I seem to have finally found a real head resonance.  Is that because I am being diligent about blasting all the crud out of my sinuses?  I think I was always congested behind my nasal passages, which is not something I ever noticed until I began trying to figure out why I had such a "gargly" sound in my upper passagio.  Anyhow, after the New Year I am going to get a referral to an ENT. I have always been leery of getting on the merry-go-round of medication for nasal stuff because it either makes you speedy or makes you sleepy and I have seen my partner spend a lifetime, more or less, being partially dysfunctional due to the combination of asthma medicines and allergy medicines.  But who knows?  Maybe the ENT will have some other kind of advice.  I am using nasal spray but what happens is it loosens up all the junk and then I spend hours "snuffling" although eventually it gets cleared out.

But getting back to the Christmas concerts, I really like the woman in charge of these because she is nice and friendly and treats me with respect, which I find people rarely do in the talent-stuffed New York singing scene.

As for choir, I am definitely singing a solo (one of the Spanish art songs) on Epiphany, and will probably sing Wagner's "Angel" song on Annunciation Sunday (the third Sunday in Advent).  That is one of our pastor's favorite songs.  It was the second solo I sang after I was "discovered" ("Mon Coeur" was actually the third - the first was "Dido's Lament") and was chosen for me by the choir director at the Unitarian church to sing at Christmas and I have kept it in my repertoire ever since.  It will be interesting to hear how that pianissimo high G sounds with my improved technique.

Last but not least, tonight is the kickoff rehearsal for the Requiem.  At first my partner was teed off, but it is only an hour, and this is something I have been planning for over a year.  I am responsible for assembling the singers and pianist and arranging rehearsals, the church will donate the space and give the ticket money to the social outreach program of their choice, and will handle the marketing and promotion.

The purpose of this rehearsal will be to finalize cuts and sing through the big ensemble pieces.  The soprano is the one who sang in my Verdi concert and the tenor is a friend of my teacher's who sings in the Met chorus.  I am lucky to have him.  The only problem is the bass.  He is someone I know from Facebook (I think he friended me after meeting me at an audition) and he said he was working on the Requiem and yes, would be interested in this (he can just view it as a big rehearsal) but that Thursday was not a good day to rehearse.  So I said we could probably switch to Tuesday after the New Year but that I just wanted to know if he could make the rehearsal today.  Over the course of two weeks I have sent him emails and left a message on his cell phone but have not heard anything. I am pretty sure he is still in the land of the living because I think he has posted things on Facebook.  So - huh??

Well, if I don't hear from him by the end of 2012 I will try to get someone else.

And I will line up someone to be on "partner patrol" in case she has a (real or manufactured, but not life threatening) crisis the week leading up to the concert.

After the Storm

Sandy has come and gone (left a lot of devastation, which is tragic, but thankfully not in my neighborhood) and Obama will be President for four more years.

So it's now "OK" to get back to thinking about singing.

I spent most of the storm week with my partner.  First I waited out the storm with her and then when it hit, I stayed with her every night because she had no power.  I did, so I spent a few hours a day in my apartment, using it as an office.  The worst thing for me was missing choir rehearsal, which I had to do.  I would never have forgiven myself if I had been there and she had fallen in the dark and not been able to get up, or even use her Life Alert button.

Now it's almost time for this week's choir rehearsal, and it's snowing, and it's windy, so she of course is on at me to stay home.  Absolutely not!  If the thing I want most isn't a paying choir spot, but the respect accorded a professional choir member, I don't stay home because of inclement weather, as long as the subway is running.  In all fairness, I should say that the majority of the choir, trained or untrained (and all unpaid) would not stay home either.  So much for the people who roll their eyes about "volunteer" choirs!

I am working on the Spanish Christmas songs (called "Villancicos") for the concerts I am doing with the woman who produced the September 11 concert.  I am also going to sing one on Epiphany at the Spanish service in the Lutheran church.  Epiphany is the biggest holiday for the Spanish-speaking parishioners so the service should be well attended.  I also xeroxed some of the more contemplative songs for the choir director, to give him as possible ideas for Communion for Christmas Eve.

I now have three other soloists for the Requiem but it is like herding cats.  A rehearsal day that is good for one person is not good for someone else.  Well, I will organize and negotiate.  I spent years doing that with my staff in an office, so I can do it for this.

I was also realizing that one reason I haven't made as much progress as I would have liked over the past 8 years isn't that I have the wrong teacher or that I don't practice enough, but that it is not "total immersion".  A conservatory student with a Master's in Vocal Performance will have studied for 8 years, but she also will have been immersed in, for example, performance classes where she will get feedback, listen to other singers, as well as studying languages and music theory.  For me it is really all stolen moments.  One reason I like working with the woman producing the Christmas concerts is that in addition to being knowledgeable and supportive she is also someone who gives me a different perspective.  If I were, for example, a conservatory student taking an intensive seminar in Spanish song, I would get ideas that perhaps would be different from those I was getting from a voice teacher.

I don't know what this says about anything, but one of the women singing with the group this time is a mezzo with a lovely voice who has real experience: meaning having been a soloist with orchestras in smaller "cities" (to me anyplace you have to drive is not a city, hence the quotes), not to mention having a professionally designed web site showing her in a gold dress lying on a bed of roses!!  I wonder how much a photo shoot like that cost??  That's what I want.  Someone to photograph me in a low cut dress lying on a bed of roses....