Back in the Saddle

Well, after hearing two glorious dramatic sopranos yesterday, and not having any paying work to do, I was inspired enough to do a serious practice.

The high B flat in the first round of "Chi ti salva" is so not good. It's fine if I just sing a little chunk leading up to it (that's why it's easier the second time) but today I tried singing the scene from the beginning (not really difficult up to that point, and to me the passage "e patria, e trono, e trono, e vita, tutto darei per te" is one of the most achingly beautiful things to sing). Well, I think a lot of the recitative sections, which seem to contain a lot of hard consonants, just tire me out, so I need to figure out a strategy. Also singing the word "vendetta" is not great for keeping the voice in a comfortable spot for soaring upwards. Yes, I sang a couple of drop dead B flats a la Simionato, but it's still a crap shoot. So ok, I have until next April or May to get this in shape. But learning a new piece is one thing, singing a note that has terrified me for 35 years is another.

Another thing I did that I probably shouldn't have was go through the Dalila and Daddy duet with the recording to check my entrances. Most of Dalila is easy to sing incorrectly - there's always the temptation to croon the sexy parts and bellow the angry parts, particularly in the beginning where it's in a very low tessitura. I am convinced now that Sir Arthur Sullivan had the Vengeance Duet in mind when he wrote "So go to him and say to him" from Patience. It's a duet between two comic characters - Bunthorne (a send-up of Oscar Wilde) and Lady Jane, one of his middle aged admirers. I sang Lady Jane when I was 22 and smoking like a chimney (complete with body padding because she sings about being "stout" and at that time I was five foot six, 125 pounds thanks to the appetite suppressant benefits of good old nicotine). In any event, singing that duet from Samson et Dalila it's easy to slip into G&S style patter which isn't great for the voice, either.

So ok. Now it's off to visit my little Dachshund and assemble a "pup tent" for him.

Tomorrow I will do the piece again. The Mentor (Who Shall Not Be Discussed) always told me it was good to learn a piece backwards, particularly if the ending is the hardest part. (My current teacher actually told me something similar....to isolate the difficult section and keep singing it by itself until it was comfortable.) I also need to pinpoint all the bad habits that creep in during those preceding pages.

Quarterbacking

So this evening I sang in one of the group get togethers. For once my partner didn't pick a fight over it, so I didn't have that dragging me down. I haven't been sleeping well because I am very upset about my little dachshund. He has a herniated disk and a few days ago was stumbling and unable to stand and I really thought we were going to lose him. He has rallied somewhat now, although it's really a case of having to be cruel to be kind because he must be confined as much as possible, not allowed on the bed, where the soft surface will make it hard for his back to heal, not allowed to wander up or down the ramp. So he's confined to the floor under the bed, which is made easier since he's stoned on painkillers. He can't have toys, either, because he shakes his head when he has a toy in his mouth.

Anyhow, I managed to warm up to a high C and then went off and sang "Stella del Marinar" from La Gioconda. Not my best singing, I seemed to have a lot of phlegm and took some breaths in really stupid places (I have been singing this aria for 30 years, and in the past, when my voice was smaller, I seemed to have more breath control)but nailed the ending. Then I got to vamp it up with "Mon Coeur", which I hadn't sung in about 9 months, because I'll be singing it in the nursing home concert with my bass friend. For my last piece, I was going to do one of the Dvorak songs, but since I have never even heard it with an accompaniment, I didn't want to fumble through it. If it's one of the ones the choir director likes, I can try to find it on You Tube. So for my last piece I did Dalila's extended monologue right before the Vengeance Duet. It's four pages of singing, so it was a respectable thing to do in this setting. I need to brush up on entrances etc.

One really exciting thing is I found a soprano to sing duets with. I have a bass, and a few tenors, but no sopranos. This is a woman with a big dramatic voice, so we can do duets from La Gioconda and Aida which will be great.

The most important thing is, I haven't been feeling very sing-y lately, as a result of my anxiety about the dachshund, so it was a good discipline to just get up and sing anyway. If I were a real pro I would have to do that, right?

Another No Thank You

My last post was about how well I felt I'd sung at the little Musicale. Well, there was a possibility that this could have led to our singing (if not that scene then something) at a more public concert next month but it's not to be.

I got an email from our hostess saying she wouldn't be able to use us in that concert, and it was a "closed" letter not an open one, meaning she wished us good luck, but did nothing to indicate that she would be interested in us in the future. (In other words, she didn't say the equivalent of "I'll keep your resume on file", which really often does mean the person's interested, they just don't have a spot.)

So now it's on to our concert at the nursing home in October. It will be a chance to sing, and seniors (particularly there) are very appreciative, but for example we were told we couldn't invite more than five guests apiece, so it's hardly a chance to exercise bragging rights.

To keep my hand in a broad range of things, I have been looking at some Dvorak sacred songs that I might do as choir solos. They're in the book for "high voice" because the only other alternative is the book for "low voice" which is too low. This particular collection doesn't come in "medium voice" which is what would be most appropriate. They're not too high, don't get me wrong. One of them has a high A marked "forte" and two of the others have Gs marked "forte" which is fine, but the choir director probably won't like that. Well, if he likes one of the songs and wants me to transpose it down a whole step that's fine (I think the songs in the book for "low voice" are a third lower.)

I must admit I haven't felt a lot like singing for the past week. My little Dachshund has a herniated disc and he's staying with my partner, to be away from my cats and keep her company. He's supposed to be on "crate rest" but he hates being confined which means she's stuck in the house with him for the most part. We were told he's not a good candidate for surgery since he's 12.

I have a lesson tomorrow and am signed up for one of these singing Meetups (group coachings) on Tuesday night, so maybe that will get my energy back up.

Amneris Take 2, or All's Well that Ends Well

I had a horrible night last night - woke up at 2:30 and didn't get back to sleep until 5, but I guess I made up for it by sleeping until 10. It took me a long time to warm up (I was really scared - it had been a long time since it had been that hard for me to sing light "bloos" up to a G) but after a cheese omelette and a slow morning (I also had a piece of fresh salmon on a sandwich and went light on the coffee) I did a good warmup up to a B and in any event the ending to the Judgment Scene went like a house afire. I think I really have stumbled upon something new where I can sing those top As big, fat, and round, with a lot of topspin.

And we sang the s**t out of the piece at this afternoon's little concert. The woman hosting it was lovely, her apartment is gorgeous, and the other performers were really nice and interesting. I felt good about how I sounded (and how my bass colleague sounded) and people gave me lots of compliments. Here are a few:

The role is perfect for you. Have you sung it anywhere? Do you know it?

You are so dramatic! (That's thanks to my observing the dynamic markings to a T. I didn't really do any acting since we were singing from books, other than raising my fist in the air and then collapsing in grief (after I had sung the last note).

You have a magnificent voice.

Well, I've waited 40 years for this. I just wish I felt this was "going" somewhere. I never forget that the clock is ticking faster and faster.

Not a Good Pre-Performance Day

I had hoped to spend today doing a few simple chores for my partner, being snuggly with her and the dog, and resting for tomorrow's performance. (So ok, ok, to most of the Forum crowd, and the people auditioning for C and D houses, it's not a big deal, it's just a "Musicale" in someone's living room. But it's a big deal to me, as being the first time I'm singing the Judgment Scene (with 3 high As) in public.)

First of all, my partner lives in a Collyersoid dump full of papers and dust. Not to mention that almost anything is an occasion for a quarrel(if I want to be honest, I suppose she's my ex partner, but I try not to get too personal in this blog - I save that for "the other place").

And it finally came out why she hates everything to do with my singing (unless it's in church). It's because places where I might be singing are co-ed i.e. full of straight men

Which brings me back to the subject of earlier posts where I mentioned that being a Lesbian (actually I'm now a closet bi, but nevermind) trying to be successful in a mainstream art form, was so impossible.

The kind of Lesbian she is or wanted me to be, is really not that different from being Amish or Hassidic.

So now I just have to get a good night's sleep, eat healthily tomorrow, not have any aggro, and hope for the best. If nothing else, I sang really really well in yesterday's runthrough. I have really never sung high notes like that before.

A Moment of Sadness

This needs be brief - I need to do one more runthrough of the Judgment Scene before Sunday.

I got an email today from the opera company that turned me down out of hand because I was too old (said they wanted singers with "future potential" whatever that means) and it made me sad. I mean it's one thing to decide I'm too old to play Erika in Vanessa. She is after all, the youngest in a three generation family. But to be too old to play La Zia Principessa in Suor Angelica?? She could easily be my age and in any event everyone says I look about 45. I mean who the bloody Hell knows who has future potential??? One of the 30somethings could have three kids and call it quits. In any event, these people still keep me on their email list, so I heard about their upcoming Trittico

I was happy to see that two singers I know got leads. My guess is they are each in their late 30s, with big operatic voices that they're not ashamed to steer in that direction.

But you see that's who I wish I were. Not Olga Borodina or Dolora Zajick, although that would be nice.

Just a woman in my late 30s or early 40s with "promise".

I mean what promise do I have now? Every day that I can sing scenes from Amneris (or even just vocalize up to a solid high B)is stolen time, I know that.

I had a good lesson yesterday. My teacher was being picky and he said that note (my first crack at the high A at the end of the Judgment Scene) would have been good enough for last lesson but not this one. So he made me do it over and over, at least five times. It gets easier and easier to sing those notes big and full. (It also helps, beloved choir director forgive me!!, not to be squeezing my voice to blend in with the choir for a while.)

So now it's the countdown. One more runthrough of the (second half of) the Judgment Scene, then tomorrow is a rest day (I am staying with my partner and our dog) and then Sunday I'm on.

I pray that there's no crisis that keeps me from the concert (with two ill elderly people and now an ill elderly dog as well, it's dicey). And please send good vibes that I do my very best.

As for "future potential"? Well, I have what I have, folks!!

Amneris, Take One

Yesterday I ran through the Judgment Scene with the bass and the piano. This is the first time I've sung this in front of anyone except my teacher. It went really well.

Now it's important to remember: Any time I'm singing something requiring this much vocal stamina (it's got three high As and three high G sharps....attainable notes for me but nothing I can toss off if I'm tired or improperly fed) I watch what I eat and everything else I do like a hawk.

I didn't set the alarm, ate a cheese omelette (no carb-y cereal for breakfast if it's a singing afternoon)got up and made some phone calls, did a little work (I work at home, so any day can be a work day, or not), dressed (not up, but since the rehearsal was in a church I wore a skirt), and had a nice warmup. I sang excercises up to a B (I really can stretch up to a C but it's often a squeal or a shriek so I didn't go there) and then sang the ending "Empia razza, etc etc" which has to pack a big punch.

Luckily, by the time rehearsal started the congregation had cleared out so we got to use the big piano in the sanctuary. There were a few challenges, but we did one complete runthrough, a second minus my "Empia razza" bit (once per rehearsal is enough for that! - I worry if I sing it when I'm tired I'll end up with a bad muscle memory), and then worked on bits and pieces, mostly the counterpart at the end, including my singing an ascending scale up to an A which I managed about four times, remembering to keep my larynx down and that it will not make it easier if I sing "lightly"!!

So we're good to go for Sunday. I have a lesson tomorrow, otherwise I don't want to fiddle with the piece too much because I like how it sounds.

P.S. While we were practicing I drank half a bottle of "Muscle Milk". This is very high in calories but I find drinking it keeps me perky and helps my stamina when I'm singing (coffee does not!!) so I always have one with me unless I'm singing alto in the choir which takes no energy at all. Today in Pilates class someone referred to me as "fit" which I found flattering. By my younger standards I'm huge (5 foot 3.5 and 140 pounds) but I really have very little flab on me except for a midriff bulge that is the result of having once been taller. I think I'm a good size and build for singing this repertoire.